A Little Counseling Philosophy

Thanks for the talk about the problem with my daughter. As you correctly surmised, I have some problems with confrontational conversations. A large part from how I grew up (more heads in the sand than I care to remember) but know I need to get past that--as you say, things just generally get worse, don't go away or get better on their own.

DRIVEN BY OUR PERSONALITIES

I basically think that for the most part, we are driven by our personality and you have great insight as I said, into how you are. You are an ESFJ on the Myers Briggs Type Indicator. I use to do lots of counseling and always felt that I was not good at it overall. In fact, I once started a counseling practice with a buddy of mine called Esthetic Therapy, Inc. He fired me after a couple of months and politely said, "this is not working." He said that counseling was suppose to make money and as I got clients, they would come in and talk for two or three sessions with me and I'd cut them loose and basically tell'em to be their own counselor. Well, in a business you can't do that: you want to keep the people coming back and back and back and taking their money. And, some need to keep coming back but after about three times, I would evaluate and give them my views.

SUPERVISED COUNSELING CAN BE MAJOR RIPOFF

Oh well...plus, another reason I didn't like counseling and this was really unfortunate because I'd spent lots of money getting certified and paying people to supervise me when most of the time I knew more than they did. (Supervised counseling is basilly a ripoff--a front told me recently that she was paying $125 and hour and getting nothing. After she has paid the guy a small fortune, he'll sign her certification that she has completed the necessary hours. I'm amazed that no one has taken this issue on.) My real feelings are that most folks have this enormous capacity to change. Unfortunately, most don't do it. For instance, I would tell folks, "insight is great but if you don't do anything with it, what good is it?" And, as a self diagnosed ADD Attention Deficit Disorder), too, too impatient with folks.

CHURCH RARELY LIVES UP TO ITS POTENTIAL

I don't' know why in the hell I ever got into this business anyway. I loved being a chaplain, it's a good activist thing to do but hated being a church pastor. Damn, what a hassle and yet, I think that the church in our society, if it lives up to what Jesus designed it to be, has the greatest possibility to help people to change. Very few churches ever get to that level, I think. I see these big megachurches on TV and listen to some of these guys and I get nauseous. Help.