To be honest I don't know what to say but I have the need to say something. I guess I have to share my brother's story to really spell it out. My brother had always been secretive. Why? Just his nature. As brothers, as we say in the South, we were thick as fleas. My wife would say rather sarcastically, "one would sneeze and the other would be there to hold the handkerchief." Now with the loss of his wife, 94, and finishing her last days in a nursing home; but before then, there is a story. When my older brother, the patriarch of our family, discovered the seriousness of my brother's romance, we decided to visit what we thought might possibly be his soon to be wife. Our visit did not end well. She didn't care for our interfering and was not reticent in telling us. It really was none of our business. Irritated, my brother Raz said, "I will tell you this. We will knock our brother in the head, throw him in the trunk of the car and you will never see him again." He would have done it. What we came to discover is that they had already married. This did not "set well" with my older brother.
Jet setting, enjoying a type of freedom that was simply wonderful became of their lives. It was the order of the day for our brother and his wife. The brothers, 4 of us, rejoiced with him in this new good life. Enter tragedy. The wife had a massive brain aneurism. Death was imminent or so we thought. No. She lived. Then came another one. This is it. She lived but became an invalid. Loss of her legs, wheelchair bound. My brother became a full time caretaker. I would visit and leave totally down in the dumps. His wife seemed to adjust to the new confined life. She was a voracious reader. Her daughter, from a previous marriage would send her boxes of books and she would spend her time reading or watching TV.
My brother did an admirable job. They employed help. A couple which could serve as characters in a novel themselves, became additional caregivers. The wife became more helpless. Our brother, mired in an environment with no real stimulus, went downhill himself. Regardless of our views, he was devoted. No, he would never put her in a nursing home. However, it is what happened. Very sad. Now she has died and we don't know how to react. God bless her on her journey.