I hate you find yourself at this spot. I have been there so often in my not so illustrious careers that if anybody can empathize, I can.
Fired four times officially in the Army and no telling how many other times, that only I know about. If I live long enough, I am going to write a book about it. The time which I remember most is Vietnam. I had been with these guys in my unit for almost a year and the head chaplain took an incredible dislike to me. Probably some sort of jealousy. He replaced me with somebody else and sent me to the rear. What nobody could understand is why that should bother me as it got me out of combat; but to me, it was a big thing, really devastating.
At war unusual things can happen. The head chaplain was based at this place called Camp Eagle. It was at the headquarters with all the staff people and the generals--they had never been attacked. Most considered that it was safe and impenetrable. They had all the amenities. I was down South, getting ready to be unceremoniously thrown out of the country. Most figured I must have done something bad or whatever or else this would not be happening. I didn't understand it myself.
Without warning, Camp Eagle came under attack. Actually a siege, nobody could get to them. It went on for about three days. Finally, they were rescued. The head chaplain was catatonic and had to be send home. I went back to my old unit.
The interesting thing is that nobody other than me or the head chaplain were even knowledgeable of what had gone on. Had the siege not happened, I would have gone home and been out of the Army. The rest of this is history, I guess. If there is a moral to the story, it is just, "keep your head down and see what happens." There is nothing worse sometimes than jealousy. And, in our culture, money also seems to be the winner but I am still naive enough to believe that "right" is the winner. I can tell you what it did for me throughout my career, it made me a champion of the underdog, the downtrodden or those who got on the wrong side of the beauracratic establishment. Most of my peers feel that my public "stands" probably kept me from being the chief of chaplains. I don't think so. It was probably my choice of assignments but who knows.