AIDS ANNIVERSARY

This is the thirtieth anniversary  of the discovery or beginning of what was called at the time, "Gay Cancer." And, with a possible 40% of the population of San Francisco being gay, we could surely expect the CITY to remember this painful time with both a commemorization and great depth of sadness.

I arrived in San Francisco during the height of the epidemic. Deaths were, for a lack of a better term, almost common place. I was assigned to be the AIDS ward (about 25 beds) chaplain at Letterman Army Medical Center on the Presideo.  Letterman at that time was a 250 bed teaching hospital and saw itself as a front runner in patient care for the soldier population, plus a huge retired military population. Letterman had been designated as the repository for HIV soldiers for the entire Pacific Rim.

The military with socially traumatic incidents like HIV positive did what they do best in such situations, they "deny." But, to the military's credit, they allowed docs or anybody to do as much or as little as they wanted. I remember distinctly a young physician (fellow) telling me, "here is a good chance to learn something about a disease that nobody knows anything about." (What we needed was a TV character like "House," totally unbelievable but the program always has exotic diseases as the docs called them. They are mysteries anHpuse, of course, solves them).  But, the military treated the patients the best they could and discharged them. At that time, AIDS was almost a hundred percent associated with the gay community.

I had some pretty sad experiences during my involvement. Two stick out. A patient said to me, "Chaplain, we can't find a place to have a memorial for a friend, any chance we could use the chapel?" Without thinking, I said, "Sure." Later on I thought, 'damn, I'm going to get my ass in a sling for this.' Sure enough, somebody ratted me out and I received a memo from the XO (second in command) that the chapel was not to be used without ecpressed permission of the Commander. The Secretary brought the memo to me and said, something like, "who should I call to cancel out tonight's memorial." I had to think on my feet here. (I discovered  down the road that she is the one who had perpetrated the drama) No, I'll take care of it."
I did nothing. At the services which were very moving, I will have to admit that I had somewhat of a strange feeling. I remember it like yesterday. Every single person I'n the service was male. Maybe 200 males, not a single female.


The other experience, among many, was equally sad. This one guy, a young sergeant and his pardner were the nicest two you could imagine. They exuded kindness. My earthy demeanor surely could have used some of their nature. They had been together a few years. I never pried and if something came out in the course of the experience, I filed it away. These guys were funny, well read, delightful in every way. One day on my rounds, I encountered the mother and father of one of them. I actually showed them to the room. Their son was very sick. The situation was very strained. Obviously the parents didn't approve of what they called they called, the "homosexual environment." I didn't do a good job of interacting with the parents and could probly psychobabble why. In what seemed lile no time, a their son died. They claimed his body, made arrangements for him to be shipped back to Minnesota and left. A couple of days later, the pardner came to see me. He relayed a story that made me profoundly sad. The parents were Lutheran, basically wete estranged from their son and did not accept the pardner. He was heartbroken. I felt so bad. Why the deceased did not leave some sort of will or detail arrangements,  I don't know. Very, very sad.

The rapture was supposed to occur at 6 PM- did I miss it?  I am assuming it did not happen.

I think the Rapture has begun.  About 10 minutes ago I saw a group of people at the bus stop and now they are all go

They must have been Southern Baptists.  Victoria

Can you believe the "press" this got. Unfortunately the fallout is that "nonbelievers" lump us all in together as non-thinkers and overall hurts the cause of Christ I believe. But, for fundamentalists, you couldn't dent their absurdity with anything, least of all Scripture. Oh well, gave preachers lots of good sermon topics. Hope all is well.

TWO WARS by Nate Self

Jerry,
 
After getting you email about going mostly to electronic books, I purchased a Kindle, the kind that seems to always be on-line, and tried it out by first downloading a sample of It Took Heroes. Then after evaluating the reading and sound quality, I downloaded for free the book Two Wars by Nate Self, the ranger lieutenant that led the effort to recover the Seal who fell from the back of a helicopter early during the war in Afghanstan. Self wrote a lot about chaplain support and his own faith, and then of his PTSD following the all-day fight above 10k feet and after he resigned his West Point-attained commission.  Two Wars is well written and offers lots of insight to the wars of the 21st century, and of the pros and cons of training and fighting with people one knows well, as opposed to the individual replacement we knew in Vietnam.  The telling of Self’s PTSD and faith struggles was very hard to read, and left me really sad for a while.
 
 
 

OUTRAGE

Jerry, sorry for the rant and perhaps over the top comments I made in my last email to you. I find myself getting so feed up with the crooked politicains in all aspects of the goverenment and I work myself up into a furious rage. What has piled on top of me today is the fact we gave Pakistan 18.5 billion dollars and they knowingly hid Bin Ladin for at least 5 years and perhaps 6. We are going to give them 3 billion more in 2011 and 3billion more in 2012...it just isn't right........thanks......kc. How is your brother doing?....I am heading up to NJ to see my mom for Mothers Day, she will ne 92 in July. I really don't care for the Northeast, bad roads, to much traffic, to many people and they all seem to be concerned only about themselves...... it's all me-me-me, well thanks again...kc

KC, no sweat. I'm your chaplain. But, not over the top. I feel pretty much the same way. Yeah, we believe the Pakies weren't complicity in shielding Ben Laden. Like we believe Donald Trump isn't an egomaniac. For some weird reason, politics is so corrupting. What gets me more than anything is the fact tjat rarely does any politician answer a direct question? Spin is the order of the day. 

Have a safe trip to see your Mom. I remember last year you went. A nice thing. I can't remember, do you have brothers and sisters? Leaving out in the morning for Reno for the 3d platoon, Delta Company, get together. Actually there's going to be a half dozen or less. You would probably remember some of these guys. One is Warren Chan, the only Asian that I remember in the Byattalion. He was Captain Holland's RTO. As I'm sure I've said before, not much into reunions but will have fun, driving up today and back tomorrow. God bless. Always good to hear. Be careful. 

I understand exactly what you're saying Jerry. It was unfortunately and to a disgustingly large extent, an on-going game of "You take care of me and I'll take care of you." 

When the 1/501 BN CDR was awarded the SS at his Sep '69 change of command ceremony, I was at LZ Sally, as XO of A Co. I sent the requisite 10 man detachment to the ceremony under command of the Supply Sergeant. 

The BN XO, a good guy, immediately came to the orderly room to find out why I wasn't in charge. I told him I knew--because I was there in the A Shau when the event supposedly occurred, that it was 100% bogus and that the fool had done nothing to deserve any medal, any time. The Major said "OK" and walked out.

I just want my guys, the ones who I know deserved this recognition, to step forward and I know you feel the same way.

Good to hear from you; take care and all the best.

Don

On Thu, Apr 28, 2011 at 1:19 PM, wrote:
Don, it is always good to hear from you. Thanks for thinking of me with the Silver Star project. I have some definite ideas about awards and want to share them out of my respect for you and appreciation.
 
And, most of it may pretty cavalier but don't mean it to be. I put in lots of guys for awards when I was in Vietnam. And, the way I got started doing it came about is a bit of a story in itself: once I was in the rear area at Sally. At that time, I'd been in Vietnam about three months, I saw the 2/501st in formation getting awards which seemed to be every other day. I wondered why our troops never got awards. The Adjutant said the commander had said we are not just giving out awards unless it is really spectacular, whatever that might be. Anyway, the moment he left, I had a stack of recommendations lined up for our guys to get awards and for my entire time, I kept it up. This war story is merely I guess to express how I feel about awards. Those that really deserved them often never got 'em and others who didn't were rewarded. This may sound a little like sour grapes but don't mean it to be. Myself and a couple of others were impacted with silver stars in the hospital at Phu Bai by General Barsoni who was the 101st Commander at that time. I was so green in a way, I didn't have a clue what it meant and didn't even know that it was anything until I left to go home and there was the award. All I had done, along with a couple of others, is pull some of our guys who were hit out of the line of fire when we were in this big firefight. I never felt like I deserved it. But, I wore it with pride as much of my active duty time was during those years when Vietnam wasn't something anybody talked about but I was always proud to have served. Since I've been retired, there have been several times I've helped guys get their awards. So, certainly not against the SS project but don't have much energy for it either as I'm appreciative of all soldiers who served in Vietnam and the ones who really deserve our recognition are those who paid the ultimate sacrifice. For most of us and you are one of them, everyday is a gift and one we were never promised. God bless. {{{{{{Jerry}}}}}}


 

AN ETERNAL QUESTION

I would thank God that we were spared but realize that Thousands were not spared.
Seems a little like saying somehow God likes us a little better and I know that is not true.
Some things I have not gotten a handle on in my 50+ years as a minister.

CN, retired chaplain , in reacting to devastating tornadoes tjat devastated so many I'n his native state of Alabama.

AN APPROACH TO GIVING

My idea and which I even do now is give out a fair amount of money, well for an average person anyway;  but, my experience has been if you run across someone in need, $20 or $40 or fifty or a hundred dollars might not have much meaning to us but to someone on the edge, it is "found money" and makes a little difference. Here's an example of my thinking, my grandson and I were at this little park at Pier 39 last week. He is almost three running around--this little kid, maybe twelve, just jabbering away. I'm being a little cautious as crazies are everywhere and I don't want people to think I'm one of them; this is a stranger kid but I talk to her while watching James Raz, my grandson. She tellse they are in San Francisco because she won a contest in the state on history something. Not totally sure of all the details. San Francisco was the prize. I think they were from San Diego. "What was your history project?", I asked her. Her grandfather was a Marine on Iwo Jima and she collected old photos, letters, created this historical display. It won the contest. Needless to say I was impressed. The father came over. We chatted. I said to him, I am so proud of your daughter. Would you feel insulted or badly if I gave her a few dollars with which she can buy something special. He allowed how it was not nessary. "I know but I would like to do this as it is the only thing I can do to show my appreciation." I gave her my fifty dollar bill that I always keep for emegencies. In my thinking, this 50 bucks was nothing or little to me but to them, it was fifty dollars they would not have had. Did I feel good? Sure. (You could psychobabble that to death.)  Was it my need to do it more than their need to have it?  Sure.  I'm just thankful I can. Other than my tithe, I rarely give other than to individuals. Well, that's not totally true now that I'm thinking about it. But, it is a lot. I sound like I'm Warren Buffett or something. I'm not but have ended up at this stage of life with more disposalable income than I deserve.

TWO REALLY BRAVE TROOPERS

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HELLO CHAPLIN AUDRY
I GOT YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS FROM JIMMY STEPHENS AS I SERVED WITH HIS BROTHER DANNY AND WAS WITH HIM THE DAY HE DIED. I ATTENDED SEVERAL OF YOUR SERVICES WHILE I WAS WITH D CO 3RD PLT EVEN THOUGH I LOST MY FAITH IN GOD AT THE TIME. I'M NOW ALMOST 65 AND HAVE ACCEPTED GOD AND TRYING TO SERVE HIM FOR THE LAST NINE YEARS. I JUST MADE CONTACT WITH DANNY'S BROTHER AND IT HAS BEEN A HEALING FOR ME TO TALK TO HIM ABOUT DANNY. I JUST WANTED TO SAY THANK YOU FOR BEING THERE FOR THE TROOPS AND WELCOME HOME.
TAKE CARE AND BE WELL
DONALD J MENDOCHA

Don, so great hearing. And, I know that it meant lots to Jimmy to hear from you. Even though it has been so many years since Danny's death, the pain is still there and real. Jimmy has done so very much to keep Danny's memory alive.

Thank you for your testimony. War is a tough time and tests us all in so many ways. I am sure that God doesn't mind it when we are struggling. I'm still involved with lots of our guys; in fact, the first part of next month, Lieutenant Roach and a few of us are getting together in Reno.

Where are you? What has been going on with you all these years? I wrote a memoir about my experience in Vietnam, I want to send you a copy. Send me your address.

God bless and welcome home to you. Amazing how Vietnam is such a part of our existence probably that way with all combat soldiers, to include all those serving now. I just ordered an album off iTunes from Billy Bang. I read about him in Sunday's NY Times and how Vietnam so affected all of his life. He went on to become a concert violinist.

*****

HELLO CHAPLIN AUDREY
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ANSWERING MY E-MAIL. I JUST WANT TO FILL YOU IN ON MY LIFE SINCE VIETNAM. I WAS MARRIED JUST BEFORE I LEFT FOR THE ARMY. I WAS BROUGHT UP IN A CHRISTIAN FAMILY BUT LOST MY FAITH ONCE I WENT TO VIETNAM. I WAS A RESEARCHER FOR TIME MAGAZINE BEFORE AND WHEN I CAME BACK BUT LEFT THE JOB TO MOVE UP TO BIGGER AND BETTER THINGS, SO I THOUGHT. I WENT THROUGH THE NORMAL EXPERIENCE OF HEAVY DRINKING AND BEING ANGRY ALL THE TIME. I WENT INTO SALES AND MADE A GOOD LIFE FOR MYSELF(OR SO I THOUGHT). MY WIFE KEPT HER FAITH, KNOWING SOME DAY I WOULD TURN BACK TO GOD. YEARS LATER(1991) MY WIFE WAS DIAGNOSE WITH BREAST CANCER AND GIVEN ONLY 6 MONTHS TO LIVE. SHE MANAGED TO BEAT IT TWICE BUT FINALLY PAST AWAY FROM THE DISEASE 10 YEARS LATER BUT NOT BEFORE I CAME BACK TO GOD. WE BOTH HAD EVERYTHING BUT I WOULD OF GIVEN UP ALL FOR HER. AFTER HER DEATH I NEVER CRAWLED BACK INTO THE BOTTLE AND TRIED TO GO ON WITHOUT HER. I KNEW HER SINCE I WAS 5 YEARS OLD. YEARS PAST AND I MET MY NEW WIFE WHO HAD SIMILAR PAST LOSING HER HUSBAND TO CANCER. I TRIED TO BE AN EXAMPLE TO HER AND SHE ALSO GAVE HER LIFE TO GOD. I'M ALMOST 65 NOW AND SEMI RETIRED AND WE ARE PLANNING ON MOVING OFF LONG ISLAND NY AND GO TO STROUDSBURG PA. SHE HAS BEEN SUCH A HELP TO ME WITH FACING MY PAST. I ALWAYS THOUGHT OF DANNY STEPHENS AND JACKIE MONTGOMERY ANOTHER FRIEND THAT I LOST AND WONDER IF ANYONE WAS OUT THERE SEARCHING. I'VE BEEN ON MANY SITES LOOKING AND FOUND JIMMY STEPHENS NAME AND E-MAIL LAST WEEK AND WROTE TO HIM. WE SENT EACH OTHER SEVERAL E-MAILS AND THIS LAST SUNDAY JIMMY CALLED AND HAD A GOOD CONVERSATION. I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DID FOR THE TROOPS. I DON'T THINK YOU REMEMBER BUT AT ONE OF YOUR SERVICES YOU ASK ME IF I NEEDED ANYTHING AND I TOLD YOU A RADIO, AND THE NEXT TIME YOU WERE IN THE FIELD YOU BROUGHT ME THAT RADIO. I SENT JIMMY SOME INFO THIS MORNING AND ENCLOSED THE ARTICLE ABOUT YOU IN TIME MAGAZINE BACK IN 1970, DO YOU REMEMBER IT? THANK YOU AGAIN FOR BEING THERE.
TAKE CARE & BE WELL
DONALD J MENDOCHA


*****

Don, so glad to get your wonderful testimony. It brought tears to my eyes, especially about your first wife and her cancer. And, you surely stepped up the plate. My volunteer job is that I am very involved with the UCSF Cancer Center. I got into it when I began to drive Rose, who worked with my wife, for her chemo treatments. She was diagnosed at 30 and died just a month shy of her 41st birthday. For about two years, I would drive her and watched her die slowly and so when you were recounting your story, I was right there. I thought that I knew some really brave soldiers in the Nam, many just like yourself; but they didn't come anywhere close to Rose and your wife. In fact for over three years now, I have been trying to do a book about Rose's bravery. I actually, at her suggestion, kept a blog for the time I was with her; but, it has been the most difficult thing I've ever tried to do. My own grief keeps intruding. I have almost abandoned the project several times but am keeping at it.

God richly bless you. So glad to be back in contact, will put your book in the mail today. And, sounds like you have PTSD (think all of us do to a degree)--one of the things I've tried to do over the last several years is encourage those like yourself to file a claim, if you haven't. God bless. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Jerry}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}})) Thanks for sharing the story of the radio.

UNCONVENTIONAL PREACHERS' DIALOGUE

As adjunct faculty for a couple of universities, I find a fair amount of students who really have no clue on how to write a good paper. I tell them I have a simple answer for them, that it is something they can use without electricity, and they will be thankful in the years to come that they listened to me. When they ask what it is, I tell them, “You must turn off your TV and all electronic devices and visit your nearest library, get a card, and use it regularly.”

I dropped out of school in the eleventh grade with straight “F’s” … then in the Army I had a chaplain take an interest in me and he got me reading. He told me that one of the key’s to being successful in life is learn how to communicate in writing. He said that my superiors may never meet me in person, but that when I write something, those same superiors will be reading it and making a judgment about who and what I am. All from that one paper (or memo) I wrote. You know what? He was right! The chaplain arranged for me to have the day off, gave me a list of classics that I should have read in junior high and high school, and sent me to the base library. When I started reading, I found a world that I never knew existed, and I have been hooked ever since. I may not know all the parts of speech as well as I should, but just by the reading that I have done all these years, I can quickly recognize a good sentence as to a poor one. I can now write a good paper (or Memo), and that has gotten me all the way through graduate school and landing me many, many promotions throughout my career. Reading good books, to me, is one of the most important tools for success!!!

*****

Dan, you didn't embellish, rather told a good story. Thanks. In some ways, the story reminds me of my seminary professor, Dr Boyce. He was 77 and the seminary was forcing his retirement. We organized and came up with a petition, with every student, all seventeen of us, signing. We then presented it to the trustees requesting he stay. I will never forget the day after the decision was made by the trustees that he could teach as long as he wanted. He was so touched by our gesture. The class was called Wisdom Literature, mainly the Old Testament. He could make it come alive because he turned it all into stories. Something like, Elisha walked with God. Dr. Boyce would say, "Here's the way it went. God and Elisha are walking along, "shootin the breeze" and God says to Elisha, 'Look, we are closer to my house than yours, come on over.' "

*****

Yes, it is a composite story of a few events which most is true in my mind.

Hey, I have been reading Rob Bell's book "Love Wins" and page after page rings so very true in what I have always felt to be God's view on man's redemption.

Universalism is a bad word in the Christian community and yet, I always thought it strange that God would create all these people and only get a 10-20 percent return on His investment - every page is wonderfully written with questions I always thought but knew, if asked, I'd find myself without a church. Great stuff!

*****

Will check this out. I'm going to start thinking you have channeled Dr Boyce. "Return on His investment" is exactly something he would say. Makes me smile. One of the things I've been thinking lots lately are ideas surrounding the "next life." Because of my great love of women, mostly, well not only mostly but entirely fantasy. And, of course, fantasy with no basis in reality. But, thinking of a "next life" thing. Maybe heaven or heavens where some of the fantasy might become reality. Now, I know the conventional answers but the same thing with universality, doesn't make sense to me that God's return would be so little. So, maybe the next life could be something less than conventionally. What think?

I hang out with a bunch of guys for breakfast two or three times a week who are unconventional to the max. They either have no or little faith, claim to be atheists, agnostics, lapsed Catholics, etc. They are constantly challenging my usually conventional ideas and quotes from the synoptic gospels. Impossible not to "think" as these guys and one female have enormous experience and education and consider themselves very enlightened: a Buddhist or two thrown in. And, an MD, who spent a year with some guru in India. See what I mean. One recent discussion had to do with conversion. I was trying to explain to them, from my perspective, in Christianity, what makes it different is that at some point, we experience conversion: going in one direction, accepting Christ and immediately making a change and heading in an opposite direction. Needless to say, that didn't fly with them. I tried to compare it to Islam. With Islam, you can merely declare you are a Muslim. And, you are a Muslim and start following the rules. Not so with Christianity, you experience a conversion and all are different; still small voice for some or Paul's Damascus road experience for others. They challenge everything, however, keeps me on my toes and this group is one of the best things that has happened to me since retirement.

*****

That is what makes you a "follower of Christ" in the true sense. Jesus would hang out with these guys too! And those guys would want Him there - just as they would miss you being absent from your group.

On Saturday, prior to graduation, we are having breakfast at our faculty meeting, and I am sitting with my good friend Cyndy, "the lesbian married to another woman." We are having a great time talking and laughing and carrying on. Someone later asked, "Is that your wife?"

I had to chuckle. They figured we were "together" because they could see we enjoyed one another's company.

This is the true Jesus story to me - being in the world - but having an internal mindset that allows us to engage folks where they are - not being threatened in our own faith - and they enjoy our "religious" perspective because they know we are NOT trying to always fix them - just love them!

I think you would REALLY enjoy Rob Bell's thoughts. It is a great book, Jerry. And I think you may be closer, as Jesus would say, "To the kingdom of Heaven" than those who do not have imaginations and feelings about how this life is much to do with the next.

I still believe Jesus is the only way, but His way will be realized by all - in this life, or the next.

The love chapter (1 Cor 13) says, "Love never ends" The fundamentalist says, "God only loves us in this life, and once you die, You're FUCKED!!!" (That is my way of saying it, not Rob Belly.

CHOICES

Just got back from NC. My brother is seriously ill and so went back to spend a little time with him. He is pretty much wasting away, 180 down to 120 pounds. Chronic lung disease which causes internal bleeding They all want me to move back and direct traffic. And I might for awhile, have to think about it. Getting older has been no fun for him (maybe not for any of us). I surely wish that he would "hit the road." It is what he wants. He misses the drives to the beach, the big family meals he can no longer cook, his "turns" (as he calls them) around the golf course that he walked for hours. So, since he can't do those things among many, his view is "time to go." I surely get it.

His story is almost a novel. He had been divorced for years, dating regularly one or two friends, enjoying himself. Had made lots of money in various ways, mostly legal. Consequently, life is moving along. He meets this woman, very attractive and super aggressive: so much so that my older brother and I try to intervene. She out maneuvers us and snares our brother. They have a good time, travel lots. She has massive stroke, later on aneurism, becomes total invalid. The kicker: it is discovered that she lied about her age and is 10 years older than my brother. When you are 40 and your mate is fifty, not such a big deal but when you are 70 and your mate is 80, a big deal. My brother stepped up to the plate, however, and has been her primary caretaker for the last several years. He's had lots of help but still, has taken it's toll. Pretty sad.

My brother is an example of the aging process and the part we must play in it. When I was a chaplain at Letterman Army Medical Center when it was a "full blown" teaching hospital, a boss once said to me, "we must take an active role in our health care." By this, he meant every aspect of our lives. I agree and am constantly reading and trying to figure out lifestyle issues as I get older. I've just read two books that are terrific: The Longevity Project. Deals with this eight decade study about longevity. My nephew gave it to me. Really good book. I love this one aspect. Women who have regular orgasms live longer. I'm serious, based on this study. The second one, "Never Say Die," is one of the best books I've ever read. Based on how the popular culture has sold us a bill of goods about aging. The new forty is not the eighty. Aging is no "day at the beach." Growing older based on how long we live is a big time issue. I agree and have always believed that if we live to the age of 80 or ninety, get a disease quickly and die is a goal, healthy to then but can't reverse aging. BS to think we can. Book provoked long discussion between my wife and me who thinks I am preoccupied with issues of death. I don't think so, just realistic.

MARITAL COMMENTS

When you are in a bad situation, several choices can be made. None easy or good. What makes the scene especially bad are kids and lack of way to support oneself really well. But, mostly has to do with personality. For some people with particular type natures, so hard to make a personal decision.
What might be the case is the "other party" may really be unhappy. Ideal thing would be for an admittance to the fact and agree to move out. Maybe if it was presented, might be waiting for a way out. If both are truly unhappy. I don't mean just getting one of your feelings hurt but can hardly stand to be in the same room, feel constantly rejected or angry or sad, then past time for action.
First question to asked: is there absolutely anything that I am doing that exacerbates the situation which I can stop. If honest and the answer is no, then what to do! Also, have you tried everything? For instance, is involvement in other areas hurting, even emotional or intimacy issues? If so, why not stop? Will it make a difference if emotional needs, even on small basis, were met somewhere else? Does it make difference? Is there anything for you to do? If you were to give up career and stay home, would this help? What about a permanent job with more regular money coming in? What about kids. Are they being hurt. Are they being involved and asked to take sides?
If you plan to confront which I doubt or have trouble expressing your thoughts or get confused or emotional, write out.
"Obviously, things are not going well with us. You seem to resent me and are angry 24/7 it seems and I don't understand. I try my best but nothing seems to please you. If you would tell me what you want, maybe that would help. But, we have to deal with these things as it is no way for either of us to live. Would you like to move out? We can't have it hurting the children. It is nor fair to them to be around us in our misery. "


A last thing and nothing new: nothing is a hundred percent. Relationships are really tough, especially where there are personality issues. If your mental health is not impaired, maybe it is a matter of sucking it up and setting up what you need too. Good luck and God bless you.

FINAL INSTRUCTIONS

I got to thinking how I wanted it done. Cremated, ashes to several friends who might want them and then to spread at maybe three or four places: Ocean Beach, Presideo, my home town, then at the National Cemetery at Fort Leavenworth. All symbolic but nice thoughts.

About a month before Rose died, she asked several, including myself, if we wanted any of her ashes. Of course and when I ever get this book done, I'm going to spread them at Ocean Beach where we always were going to go. It was a ritual. When we were headed to treatment she would say, "today let's ride down to Ocean Beach." Then when the day was over, she'd say, "would you mind if we skipped the beach today."

AUTHORIZED TO CRITICIZE

If we can't have a victory parade, we at least ought to be able to draw some definitive conclusions. And, it just doesn't seem that we are going to do so. We want to just move on, sadly.

Andrew Bacevich, who lost a son in Iraq and has authored a book, Washington Rules: America's Path To Permanent War

SAYING GOODBYE

What about saying goodbye? When you are close to people and they die and you have not said goodbye, how does it affect you. I still call up the memories of those that I've cared about and think, "Wow, I didn't get a chance to say goodbye." The last time I was in Korea, I left in the middle of the night because it was so painful saying goodbye. A friend actually came to SF to tell me how cowardly that it was. Lesson learned. I blame some of it on the military: people are always leaving but now, for me, I really try to stay on top of it. When I know somebody is leaving, I go to extremes to say goodbye: Waitresses, cashiers almost anybody that I've come to see even on occasion. I don't know how you do it. Maybe the sheer numbers. Maybe it is a "degree" of sadness at someone's leaving. Like your au pair for instance: that has to be hard. I will send good thoughts and prayers.

One of my favorite coffee shops just closed. I said goodbye and felt bad but it wasn't devastating like dying. I've answered my own question.

HEARING CONFESSION

Here's a good one. I know you guys are right on the edge of your seat. I'm up at UC yesterday to drive this patient who is still taking chemo so I am waiting at the Infusion Center. I start talking to this lady and she says, "I understand you are a Priest." Before I could say anything, she said, "Father Jerry, I have met a great priest here and am going to mass everyday." I am looking for an opening to tell her that I'm not a priest. She keeps talking. She is from San Diego but came here at the rec of her doctor as he thought this was best Treatment Center in the country. She made her Mom a special rosary out of pearls. She is going to make the Priest one but he believes all rosaries should be black. It is her birthday. She is sixty. Very attractive but emotionally has the look of all breast cancer victims: "a deer caught in the headlights."


I finally decide that I have to confess. I tell her that I am not a Priest but a Presbyterian and am sorry we went on for so long but she was telling good stories. We laughed. She wanted to know if she could still call me "Father Jerry." Of course. I launched into a war story: "in Vietnam, guys would come to me all the time and want me to hear their confession. I would say to them that I am not a Priest. It would be like they didn't hear me, made no difference. I can't tell you the numbers of times I heard confession.

GOD BLESS THE CHAPLAIN'S FAMILY

Was so sorry to hear about the Chaplain in Afghanistan getting killed. His family is in CO Springs I heard. Such a mess in Afghanistan and I'm still not convinced that Iraq will go so well. On the News Hour last night, the Iraqis talked about their lack of electricity. And, listening to them talk, you got the idea that they wouldn't be unhappy if Saddam was back. I did learn something though: with Saddam, he made sure Baghdad had lights. The rest of the country could have darkness. Now, of course, the whole country is sharing which is about four hours a day. Can you imagine? SO MUCH FOR AMERICAN STYLE DEMOCRACY.

The Case for Calling Them Nitwits

They blow each other up by mistake. They bungle even simple schemes. They get intimate with cows and donkeys. Our terrorist enemies trade on the perception that they’re well trained and religiously devout, but in fact, many are fools and perverts who are far less organized and sophisticated than we imagine. Can being more realistic about who our foes actually are help us stop the truly dangerous ones?
By Daniel Byman and Christine Fair

In the years after 9/11, the images we were shown of terrorists were largely the same: shadowy jihadists who, even when they were foiled, seemed always to have come terrifyingly close to pulling off a horrific attack. We’ve all become familiar by now with the stock footage of Talibs in black shalwar kameezes zipping across monkey bars or, more recently, perfecting kung fu kicks in some secret training camp. Even in the aftermath of the botched Times Square bombing earlier this spring, the perception persists that our enemies are savvy and sophisticated killers. They’re fanatical and highly organized—twin ideas that at once keep us fearful and help them attract new members.

But this view of the jihadist community is wildly off the mark. To be sure, some terrorists are steely and skilled—people like Mohamed Atta, the careful and well-trained head of the 9/11 hijackers. Their leaders and recruiters can be lethally subtle and manipulative, but the quiet truth is that many of the deluded foot soldiers are foolish and untrained, perhaps even untrainable. Acknowledging this fact could help us tailor our counterterrorism priorities—and publicizing it could help us erode the powerful images of strength and piety that terrorists rely on for recruiting and funding.

Nowhere is the gap between sinister stereotype and ridiculous reality more apparent than in Afghanistan, where it’s fair to say that the Taliban employ the world’s worst suicide bombers: one in two manages to kill only himself. And this success rate hasn’t improved at all in the five years they’ve been using suicide bombers, despite the experience of hundreds of attacks—or attempted attacks. In Afghanistan, as in many cultures, a manly embrace is a time-honored tradition for warriors before they go off to face death. Thus, many suicide bombers never even make it out of their training camp or safe house, as the pressure from these group hugs triggers the explosives in suicide vests. According to several sources at the United Nations, as many as six would-be suicide bombers died last July after one such embrace in Paktika.

Many Taliban operatives are just as clumsy when suicide is not part of the plan. In November 2009, several Talibs transporting an improvised explosive device were killed when it went off unexpectedly. The blast also took out the insurgents’ shadow governor in the province of Balkh.

When terrorists do execute an attack, or come close, they often have security failures to thank, rather than their own expertise. Consider Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab—the Nigerian “Jockstrap Jihadist” who boarded a Detroit-bound jet in Amsterdam with a suicidal plan in his head and some explosives in his underwear. Although the media colored the incident as a sophisticated al-Qaeda plot, Abdulmutallab showed no great skill or cunning, and simple safeguards should have kept him off the plane in the first place. He was, after all, traveling without luggage, on a one-way ticket that he purchased with cash. All of this while being on a U.S. government watch list.

Fortunately, Abdulmutallab, a college-educated engineer, failed to detonate his underpants. A few months later another college grad, Faisal Shahzad, is alleged to have crudely rigged an SUV to blow up in Times Square. That plan fizzled and he was quickly captured, despite the fact that he was reportedly trained in a terrorist boot camp in Pakistan. Indeed, though many of the terrorists who strike in the West are well educated, their plots fail because they lack operational know-how. On June 30, 2007, two men—one a medical doctor, the other studying for his Ph.D.—attempted a brazen attack on Glasgow Airport. Their education did them little good. Planning to crash their propane-and-petrol-laden Jeep Cherokee into an airport terminal, the men instead steered the SUV, with flames spurting out its windows, into a security barrier. The fiery crash destroyed only the Jeep, and both men were easily apprehended; the driver later died from his injuries. (The
day before, the same men had rigged two cars to blow up near a London nightclub. That plan was thwarted when one car was spotted by paramedics and the other, parked illegally, was removed by a tow truck. As a bonus for investigators, the would-be bombers’ cell phones, loaded with the phone numbers of possible accomplices, were salvaged from the cars.)

A similar streak of ineptitude has been on display in the United States, where many of those arrested on terrorism-related charges possess long criminal records and little sense of how to put a nefarious idea into action. A group of Miami men schemed (often while smoking marijuana) to attack targets in South Florida as well as the Sears Tower in Chicago, but they couldn’t get their hands on explosives and were uncovered when the FBI easily penetrated their ranks.

If our terrorist enemies have been successful at cultivating a false notion of expertise, they’ve done an equally convincing job of casting themselves as pious warriors of God. The Taliban and al-Qaeda rely on sympathizers who consider them devoted Muslims fighting immoral Western occupiers. But intelligence picked up by Predator drones and other battlefield cameras challenges that idea—sometimes rather graphically. One video, captured recently by the thermal-imagery technology housed in a sniper rifle, shows two Talibs in southern Afghanistan engaged in intimate relations with a donkey. Similar videos abound, including ground-surveillance footage that records a Talib fighter gratifying himself with a cow.

Pentagon officials and intelligence analysts concede privately that our foes also have a voracious appetite for pornography—hardly shocking behavior for young men, but hard to square with an image of piety. Many laptops seized from the Taliban and al-Qaeda are loaded with smut. U.S. intelligence analysts have devoted considerable time to poring over the terrorists’ favored Web sites, searching for hidden militant messages. “We have terabytes of this stuff,” said one Department of Defense al-Qaeda analyst, speaking on the condition of anonymity. “It isn’t possible that they are encrypting messages in all of this stuff. Some of these guys are just perverts.”

Tawdry though this predilection for porn may be, it is not necessarily trivial. There is, after all, potential propaganda value in this kind of jihadist behavior. Current U.S. public diplomacy centers on selling America to the Muslim world, but we should also work to undermine some of the myths built up around our enemies by highlighting their incompetence, their moral failings, and their embarrassing antics. Beyond changing how the Muslim world perceives terrorists, we can help ourselves make smarter counterterrorism choices by being more realistic about the profile and aptitude of would-be attackers. More and more, as we work to disrupt training efforts, the jihadists we face are likely to be poorly prepared, and while that won’t always ensure a bungled attack, it suggests that terrorists are likely to select targets that are undefended and easy to hit. The United States has spent billions on port security since 9/11, even though terrorists have
shown little interest in ports as targets and even less ability to actually strike them. In contrast, even small investments in training for police and airport-security personnel can make a big difference, as these are the people most likely to encounter—and have a chance to disrupt—an unskilled attacker.

The difference between a sophisticated killer like Mohamed Atta and so many of his hapless successors lies in training and inherent aptitude. Atta spent months learning his trade in Afghanistan and had the help of al-Qaeda’s senior leadership—a fact that underscores the importance of rooting out al-Qaeda havens in Pakistan. After all, fighting terrorism is a chore made simpler when we can keep the terrorists as inept as most of them naturally are.

This article available online at:

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2010/07/the-case-for-calling-them-nitwits/8130/


Immo, thanks always for thoughtful articles. It is something to think
about. These may be bungling terrorists but it is a little like
getting in an accident or getting mugged. Only takes one time. Or
here's a good one. There are three three thousand muggings or so a
week in NYC. When you consider there are 7 mil or so people in NYC,
not alot of muggings in the big picture. However, if you are one of
the three thousand, it is a hundred percent.

Having read for the second time, the book Nomad, which I'm pushing
(Hershi Ali, Somalian went to Holland, became a member of Parliament,
campaigns against Muslim treatment of women, eventually had to flee to
America because we could protect her-her friend Theo Van Gogh killed
by crazed Muslim because of a movie he made where Ali was the voice
over).

She attempts to say how we can address moderate Muslims, and, her case
is weak, as much as I like her, just can't be because the Koran says
kill us.

Here's what I think, not that any will pay attention.
Here's what I started out to say. Terrorists are going to continue to
grow like rabbits, even in America. What we have got to do is get the
moderate ones converted to Christianity. Now, before this is dismissed
out of hand, think about it:
Muslims are muslims for whatever reasons. But, they are not going to
give it up without a belief system to replace it. It is the only hope
we have in this country of taking moderate Islamists (moderate meaning
they have not killed us yet, jihadists, women, etc) and seeing them
convert out of Islam to Christianity.

Hershi Ali kept beating around this althought she is an atheist, she
surely didn't advocate this but her alternate to Islam is an American
type enlightenment. Oh yeah, that'll work.

I think I'm on to something here. Christianity is, in modern
times, the only peaceful religion we have. Don't give me that bullshit
about the crusades or Christian dogma. To be a Christian, you don't
have to accept all the dogma BS. This is the only requirment. You only
have to believe in a loving God who was so loving that he gave up his
son for mankind. And, it is all faith--you don't want to believe, fine
but the atheist bullshit is not going to work with Muslims. They have
got to have a replacement religion, plain and simple. Sure, there are
all kinds of Christian agendas. You have the right wing
fundamentalist, the Cathlics but the core of Christianity doesn't
involve this bullshit, i. e., the Pope parading around or "touchdown
Jesus". Even with the fundamentalist, they are peaceful: ignorant, etc
but peaceful. The occasional abortion nut maybe.

I don't give a shit what most people grasp. If they want to worship a
tree, fine with me and we know some people have a religion of "P" but
I'm telling you: for moderate Muslims who still think that they must
conform to the Koran, (and they all do) kill the infidels, this is our
hope: convert them. Without that, they are going to be jihadists,
constantly be an irritant and in some ways give tacit support to those
trying to kill us. OK, this is good stuff. Power in the blood, God
bless you and God bless "Merica." {{{{{{{LP}}}}}}}

FEEDBACK

Talked to ***a few days ago, my RTO with Alpha Company.


He spoke highly of your book, Gun Toting Chaplain, which I didn't know existed.


I logged on to Amazon.com and ordered a copy. While on that site, I noticed that someone can start a discussion related to the author or book.

So I wrote about you on the Amazon site. Don't think too many people know that such a discussion group-possibility exists, meaning I doubt if there will be many readers, but I'd like to offer you this suggestion.

There's a book that's often required reading in many high schools; I can't stand the book or the author, Tim O'Brien's The Things They Carried. There's no doubt, the guy's a good writer, but I don't respect him or his book, except that it's "well written" in an affected way. O'Brien spent a lot of time including compliments from various REMF critics and has included no comments from real combat veterans. I haven't seen your book, yet; but I suggest that you give the men you served opportunities to make comments about you to be included in a reprinted version of your book(s). When I see a veteran author who only has REMF critics' blurbs about his book, with no real soldiers validating what's been written, I have doubts about the credibility of the author. If you look at what I wrote, I believe you might see that your fellow soldiers's statements about you would be the best recommendation for reading your book.


Greg., you are always thinking. Thanks for your thoughts. The thing about GTC, it reflected my memories and great love for soldiers like yourself. I hope you'll find it that way too.

I've just returned from a Vietvets gathering. It was a platoon gathering, 3d platoon of D Company. Bunch of great guys. We told war stories, watched this great Video that one of our guys put together. It must have taken hundreds of hours, really inspiring. Several of us stayed up almost all night talking. We're getting older, no doubt about it and yet to be honest, suddenly there we were back in the Nam, same ages, same sort of stuff. I am always amazed. As the chaplain, which I always am when I'm with this group, recognize some problems: a couple are recovering alcoholics and one definitely has a drinking problem. Tried to stay away from it but finally had to discuss with him. I do love all you guys.

And, what is absolutely astounding is the fact that health and death have depleted the ranks. What really surprised me too is the degree of agreement we had on the fact that out country had learned nothing from Vietnam. Pretty sad and discouraging. One ventured something we all knew: politicians or government types are far removed from where young soldiers are dying, then in Vietnam and now in Iraq/Afghanistan.


I've tried to call ** a couple of times. I think he's in the "shadows" and definitely needs to be brought out. The last time I talked with him, I thought he was pretty strung out. What can we do to help him?

God bless. Greg, you should write your own memoir. It is in you. Thanks for staying in touch. God bless.

TRACKING DOWN THE CHAPLAIN

For years my husband, Frank Flavell (CSM, ret), has spoken of how much he admired you and your actions in Viet Nam. Frank passed away last month after a 2 ½ year battle with Myelodysplastic Syndrome, a blood disease, as a result of his 20+ years working on missiles, high intensity radars, and exposure to agent orange. He has battled VA for the same 2 ½ years trying to document service in VN and the DMZ in Korea, neither of which ever showed up in his orders. He was always TDY – the infamous 179-day invisible forays to undisclosed locations. VA has informed me that if we can find anyone who will verify that he served with Frank in either location, they’ll accept that as documentation.

Frank was the short, Irish, opinionated guy with a distinctive laugh that echoed through the halls of Ft. Knox during his final military assignment and as a civilian training developer. I’m also a retired training developer, accustomed to dealing the Army bureaucracy, and I’m determined to try to tie up the loose ends and get his VA compensation straightened out. He simply didn’t have the energy to fight that battle and wouldn’t let me help while he was alive.

Jan Marie called and said that Janet remembers that Frank was in Vietnam in
1969. She thinks he was sent that time from Korea to rescue or escort some
soldiers. As usual, with his MOS, she rarely really knew where he was or
what he was doing until long after the fact. She sends her greetings and
says she remembers you and Jackie with great fondness; she still has a Bible
you signed. Janet and I are on friendly terms; they were divorced years
before I met him. You can reach her at 270-351-6827.

Frank never pursued his disability claim because he was a successful GS12
and didn't need the money. Besides, it just wasn't worth the effort. It
wasn't until he was diagnosed with a disease that VA had positively linked
to agent orange that he began his claim. I'm fighting this battle for Frank.
But I'm also pursuing it because of all the thousands of other special
forces/top secret clearance folks who are in the same position of having
undocumented assignments. I've been a military wife since 1967 and spent 20
years managing the development of Armor doctrine and collective training.
I've worked closely with countless soldiers who had no official combat time
because they were sent to fight where we had no military presence or, like
Frank, went without a paper trail. Guess I'm still the NCO wife taking care
of the troops and their families.

Frank's laugh was his ID. And he got the last laugh at his Celebration of
Life service at our church. After friends told their favorite Frank stories,
we ended the service with everyone singing Frank's favorite song - We All
Live in a Yellow Submarine. For 2 solid weeks on vacation with our 3
granddaughters (ages 6,7,8) we'd sung that song every time we got in the
car. Special memories!

Like Frank, I've never been known for shrinking from a challenge. I've taken
on the Council of Colonels at our higher headquarters and gone a friendly
round or two with our CG. I was generally known at TRADOC headquarters as
the one whose mantra was "If the regulation doesn't make sense, don't do
it!" Then I proceeded to help rewrite the regs. Maybe the VA is the next
project the Lord has in store for me. We'll see...

If you can be of any help in verifying Frank’s service, I’d be grateful.


Bev., let me think and talk a little to my buddies. One of the names
you mentioned is Chief Smith, I think. He has departed this life for
the next but it puts Frank in our AO (area of operations) at about
that time. I think. I am going to put in the mail the memoir I wrote
about my experince in Nam. What makes it pretty unique I think is that
much of it is a composit of many of my buddies. When I talk of some,
they really are several. And, it might be a stretch but not to me, my
experience is Frank's experience and to familiarize yourself with it
might be helpful.Will do. As I think I've said, administratively, VA is often a disaster. Medically, at least here, they are good and mostly staffed by UCSF, which is the UC medschool.

I affirm you for doing this. It is surely a way to homor Frank. I
understand VA quite well. Administratively, they are often a mess.
And, I understand that. They are trying to do a lot and we can never
forget, they are s beauracracy. I am almost positive that I remember Frank when I ran into him in Bien Hoa in early 69. I had come to escort a chaplain out of the country for a less than honorable situation and remember telling Frank and a
couple of guys about what the chaplain had done. It was his laugh that
I remember. Do you have any dates, names or anything from Vietnam.



VIETVET FAMILY PROJECT
Presideo 29464
San Francisco, CA 94129
415 515 8369
Sanfranjerry@comcast.com

April 20, 2010
SUBJECT: CSM Frank Flavell

TO: Whomever It May Concern

My first encounter wit the CSM, then an E6 or E7, I’m not sure as this was in 68 or early 69. We didn’t wear rank or nametags as a rule in Vietnam. I was the Battalion Chaplain, 1/501st Airborne Infantry, 101st Airborne Division. We were at FSB (fire support base) Sandy, very isolated area, close to the South China Sea. Our infantry companies were operating in a five mile radius or so of the FSB. Because I was gone most of the time and out with the companies, my tent was often used for those who happened to have business with the Battalion. Once when I came in from the field, Frank was sleeping in my tent. I remember distinctly as he was friendly and gregarious. I was a little baffled that he was not assigned to our unit. He was one of many that I met where the Army had diverted them from some assignment and sent them to Vietnam. It was really not a good thing as often they were denied pay and other benefits. It was weird and I railed against it then as I saw it as unjust and a misuse of the “needs of the service” (the term used when the bureaucracy wants to screw over the soldier). The reason that I knew about it was that three soldiers had come to our unit with a bogus 179 days, just short of the time where they could draw combat pay and other benefit, i. e., needs of the service). All three were killed. And, it was more common throughout the military than I wanted to believe.
Sorry, I’m railing here. Anyway, Frank’s mission as I remember had to do with this Special Forces A team that was attached to our unit. Just before he arrived and possibly the reason of his assignment, the Viet Cong had captured three members of the 12 men team and killed them, mutilating their bodies and burying them. It was horrible. Frank, I think, spent his time with what was left of this Green Beret A Team. The last time I saw him at Sandy, he was boarding a helicopter with some Viet Cong prisoners and two other A team members. I remember it distinctly because I hitched a ride to one of the Companies on the helicopter. Guys came and went like Frank but I remember him for his sense of humor and his laugh. It was unbelievable. He added immeasurably to us while he was at FSB Sandy. It was a tough time for our unit as we had taken over a seventy percent casualty rate, killed and wounded, the highest ever of a unit in Vietnam.
A few months later, I saw Frank at Bien Hoa, the rear area for the 101st. It was a great reunion. He told me he was going to Germany, he thought. Imagine how super it was a few months later when I saw him at Emery Barracks in Germany. It was like old home week. He was a great soldier and I’m so glad I’ve been able to relive these memories. I am available to discuss anything further. God bless all of Frank’s family. I’m sure they miss him.



Jerry D. Autry
Chaplain (COL), USA. Ret


Also, how did you find me? I keep meaning to ask? This really is a kind of unbelievable coincidence, i.e., to locate the one guy but then again, the Germany/Janet connection. Anyway, quite amazing. God bless.

How did we ever survive without the internet? I’m an old Army researcher. I remembered Frank talking about you, Googled you and found your books (I knew immediately that “Gun-Totin’ Chaplain” was the right guy!), checked out Amazon.com, tracked you through white pages, checked out your church to see if there were any links, went back to Amazon and followed various links until I found your email address on one of the Airborne sites. I figured I’d give you a week to respond to email, then call the phone number I’d found on white pages (after I’d learned that your wife was Jackie and knew I had the right Autry).

I also got lots of practice tracking down classmates for my 50th HS reunion last year.

Fantastic! I can’t imagine that anyone would argue with your comments. I wouldn’t dream of making any changes. I’m going to email it to VA in the morning – after I call and get an address. With luck, they’ll take your Word.doc. I’ll cc you. Knowing VA’s propensity to make everything more complex, I suspect they’ll want a signature or official letterhead or some other “positive ID.” If so, I’ll provide a fax number and address.

I truly appreciate your taking the time to write this letter for me. How much of Frank I never knew! These are things Frank never mentioned, although we often talked of his military years. I learned 42 years ago not to ask questions of anyone with a TS clearance; my ex was on embassy duty when we met and occasionally got a phone call and disappeared without explanation. Sometimes a thoughtless comment from an associate or a TV show would trigger a revelation, but not often. And anything I heard, I never heard. Fortunately I was good at playing dumb!

I’ll follow up next Tues while I’m on post. I have an interview with the director of Training and Doctrine. They can’t fill slots due to the move to Ft Benning next year and have asked if any retirees would like to return to work until next Sept. NO TDY, no supervisory duties, no responsibility, just go to work and do the job. Sounds great! It’ll give me a reason to get up in the morning and I’ll be in my comfort zone with good friends doing work I know how to do. It’ll get me through this first year and give me time to think carefully about selling the big house and changing my life.

Thanks so much for sending your book. It’s much better reading than Armor doctrine and TTPs! As I read, I understood completely why Frank admired you so much. You share a lot of the same views. Many times I could hear him saying exactly the same thing in almost identical words. I just wish he’d let me track you down before he died. He would certainly have enjoyed reconnecting!

Frank often said this country isn’t at war in Iraq. Americans have no clue what it’s about, they sacrifice nothing, they feel no pain. Only the military family is at war, and they sacrifice all. He firmly believed that no one should be able to send our kids into combat unless they send their own as well. He told friends at the Armor School that he’d experienced the pain of war and that was a lesson he really didn’t want his sons to learn. He was very angry at the way the war has been run, especially the repeated combat tours with no recovery time in between. And he often asked civilians how they expected soldiers who were trained to fight and kill people, to be policemen and nation builders. How could they expect a soldier whose instinct was to kill before he was killed to think and ask questions and determine if someone was truly a threat? And then you expect them to come home and behave like perfect gentlemen?

Both of have long been advocates of universal service. It’s one of the few times we agreed with Charlie Rangel! He was very proud of the fact that 3 of his kids (who happen to be mine) did serve their country. Chris served 8 years in KYARNG and resigned his commission 3 months before Bush decided to go back into Iraq. Kimberly, a nurse practitioner who wrote the brain trauma chapter for several nursing texts, was recruited by DoD to be their TBI advisor at DVBIC (Defense and Veterans Brain Injury Center) at Walter Reed. The Lord definitely put her there at the right time. Chuck, our youngest, encountered his 16th explosion on his 3d tour; directed the firefight (he was PSG), got everyone out safely, and couldn’t stand up when he got back to base. He suffered TBI and a spinal cord concussion. One of his troops called his wife, she called Kim, Kim called her folks at Balade and Landstuhl and we knew immediately that his injuries were not life threatening. He was medvac’d home and is now a medically retired MSG. He’s still has balance, vision and hearing problems but he’s finishing up his last year of college and hoping to teach. Frank tried to convince him not to retire, reminding him that vets are important right now and will be cared for – until people get tired of the war and realize they’ll be paying for care of thousands of injured troops forever. He usede ethe same phrase you did: “Nothing’s too good for the soldier, and that’s exactly what they’ll get. Nothing.” He also pushed him to turn in paperwork for his purple heart, telling him to “do as I say, not as I did (and paid for it later in life).” Both did write-ups for their troops, but not for themselves Chuck finally got his purple heart 18 months after the event, after his congressman intervened and forced the division to act. And why did they serve? As you and Frank both said, not patriotism. Chris wanted college money before Frank and I married; I dragged Chuck to the KYARNG recruiter because he didn’t like Mom’s rules and 2 years later when he found himself about to be a father with no job skills, he went active. Kim’s motivation was simple – brain trauma was her passion and she wanted to help guys like her brother, who had TBI after his first tour and kept going back to take care of his guys. Kim’s back from DC now but still works part-time for DVBIC and is trying to set up a TBI clinic at U of Louisville Hospital for Ft. Knox soldiers now that we have a real BCT again. And Chuck was asked to apply for an internship as a veterans advocate working for his CO Springs congressman. He’s learning to fight the system – he’s been out of the Army for 8 months and still has no VA disability rating.

Our minister always said that Frank was his intellectual challenge, the one who made him think about what he believed and exactly why. Nobody else would say anything to him that might be controversial; Frank loved a lively discussion. For the last few months, right up to the day before he died, they had weekly phone calls to keep up their debates. He’d have loved to do the same with you!


Now, once having established your claim, then what does that do. You
surely deserve it. Airborne.I have absolutely nothing from that period. I'm his second wife (for 21 years). Frank was married to Janet at that time; his daughter, Jan Marie, said yesterday that she remembers you from Germany but she was almost sure
that you and her dad had known each other before. Frank had told me that he
never had orders to Nam; he was stationed at Bliss when the Army did a "hey,
you" and sent soldiers to fill vacant slots. He talked of riding through the
jungle in a duster with Sad Song Blue blaring from the radio. He rarely
talked about the war, although he did mention being the ranking survivor
when his platoon was ambushed and being dubbed captain so he could call in
fire support to get the 3 remaining soldiers to safety. He was probably a
PSG at the time. The only names I remember hearing are Tom Gallagher,
Skipper Adams, John House and Otto B. Smith. I know the last two are
deceased. I suspect most of them are from later years, not Nam.

LONG AGO FRIEND

Jerry,

For years my husband, Frank Flavell (CSM, ret), has spoken of how much he admired you and your actions in Viet Nam. Frank passed away last month after a 2 ½ year battle with Myelodysplastic Syndrome, a blood disease, as a result of his 20+ years working on missiles, high intensity radars, and exposure to agent orange. He has battled VA for the same 2 ½ years trying to document service in VN and the DMZ in Korea, neither of which ever showed up in his orders. He was always TDY – the infamous 179-day invisible forays to undisclosed locations. VA has informed me that if we can find anyone who will verify that he served with Frank in either location, they’ll accept that as documentation.

Frank was the short, Irish, opinionated guy with a distinctive laugh that echoed through the halls of Ft. Knox during his final military assignment and as a civilian training developer. I’m also a retired training developer, accustomed to dealing the Army bureaucracy, and I’m determined to try to tie up the loose ends and get his VA compensation straightened out. He simply didn’t have the energy to fight that battle and wouldn’t let me help while he was alive.

If you can be of any help in verifying Frank’s service, I’d be grateful.

I am almost positive that I remember Frank when I ran into him in Bien
Hoa in early 69. I had come to escort a chaplain out of the country
for a less than honorable situation and remember telling Frank and a
couple of guys about what the chaplain had done. It was his laugh that
I remember. Do you have any dates, names or anything from Vietnam.


I have absolutely nothing from that period. I'm his second wife (for 21
years). Frank was married to Janet at that time; his daughter, Jan Marie,
said yesterday that she remembers you from Germany but she was almost sure
that you and her dad had known each other before. Frank had told me that he
never had orders to Nam; he was stationed at Bliss when the Army did a "hey,
you" and sent soldiers to fill vacant slots. He talked of riding through the
jungle in a duster with Sad Song Blue blaring from the radio. He rarely
talked about the war, although he did mention being the ranking survivor
when his platoon was ambushed and being dubbed captain so he could call in
fire support to get the 3 remaining soldiers to safety. He was probably a
PSG at the time. The only names I remember hearing are Tom Gallagher,
Skipper Adams, John House and Otto B. Smith. I know the last two are
deceased. I suspect most of them are from later years, not Nam.

The VA rep says he doesn't need details, just a brief statement with an
approximate date that places Frank in Nam. I think you'd qualify as a
"credible source!"

Frank's laugh was his ID. And he got the last laugh at his Celebration of
Life service at our church. After friends told their favorite Frank stories,
we ended the service with everyone singing Frank's favorite song - We All
Live in a Yellow Submarine. For 2 solid weeks on vacation with our 3
granddaughters (ages 6,7,8) we'd sung that song every time we got in the
car. Special memories!

Bev

Bev., let me think and talk a little to my buddies. One of the names you mentioned is Chief Smith, I think. He has departed this life for the next but it puts Frank in our AO (area of operations) at about that time. I think. I am going to put in the mail the memoir I wrote about my experince in Nam. What makes it pretty unique I think is that much of it is a composit of many of my buddies. When I talk of some, they really are several. And, it might be a stretch but not to me, my experience is Frank's experience and to familiarize yourself with it might be helpful.

I affirm you for doing this. It is surely a way to homor Frank. I understand VA quite well. Administratively, they are often a mess. And, I understand that. They are trying to do a lot and we cn never forget, they are s beauracracy.

Now, once having established your claim, then what does that do. You surely deserve it. Airborne.

HOSTILE TAKEOVER BY A BUNCH OF PHILISTINES

Thought you might want to see this. Apparently the ARP Synod leaders fired some of the College/Seminary board members and replaced them with their own men. The original board went to court to reverse that. It is a mess, and painful to me to observe. You know how much I cherish my seminary connection. Lh



Yes, the events that led to the lawsuits have been stressful and very difficult for all of us. This has basically been an attempt at a hostile takeover. We are fighting to keep that from happening. All on campus are concerned about job security. If the takeover is successful, the feeling is that they will let go of most of us and only hire white ARP's and only educate white ARP's at the College and white ARP men at the seminary. If the takeover is not successful, we will be in a tight budget situation and some may have to go. So, the campus atmosphere is tense, to say the least. Not much "real" work is being done as all energies are focused on the events of the day. Please keep Erskine in your prayers. This place is a jewel in the rough and we'd like to keep it this way.

Randa


Randa, so sorry you and all the Erskine folks are having to go through this. I can hardly believe it and appreciate Lamar keeping me in the loop. Sounds like a bunch of Baptists.

I have always felt that Erskine was special. I am going to contribute to the legal fund for sure. If you can think of anything I could do, I will. Tell me what to do.

Here's an example of what can happen to Erskine. After I left Erskine, I went to Southeastern Baptist at Wake Forest, NC, for a year, thinking that I would kind of get my union card. Baptist is pretty much what I had known. After a year of CPE, (not sure we called it that in those days), I went into the Army as a Southern Baptist. A few years later, a group of fundamentalists engineered a takeover of the Southern Baptist Convention. (I'm sure you know this story) Consequently, Southeastern fell to the fundamentalists. They turned SE into a bigoted joke. The fundamentalists are a bunch of Philistines-my way or the hi-way-- and members of the Sanhedrin that Jesus called white sepulchers. The fundamentalists ruined Southeastern, made it into a shadow of its former self. They are the forerunners of the political process that has so infected our country. They are a bunch of "wingnuts" in my opinion and it is almost beyond my comprehension that Erskine would fall to the fundamentalists. Dr. Boyce and other saints from Erskine in heaven have to be figuratively speaking, turning over in their graves. Fight on. God bless you. {{{Jerry}}}}

PRE GRIEF

DIALOGUE 1 Thank you again for visiting. Our friend is "Where she is." She is preparing herself to die in a sense. I think. The last several times we've talked she moves a step closer it appears. Today, she was talking about "hope" that the next round of chemo might give her a while longer. I don't exactly know why but she's not ready it appears. And, then of course, who knows! I think that as the cancer progresses, the body shuts down and when and how is way beyond me. Because I am working on Rose's book, using the blog I've kept all along, I seem to be more accepting and kind of pre dealing with my grief. The will to live, the fierce instinct for survival is far more than I could ever understand .


DIALOGUE 2 I sensed the same thing - planning for her death but fighting it tooth and nail - and can only say, "No one knows until they are there." I keep thinking I would simply ask for a morphine drip and let go, welcoming the trip Home...but so few terminally ill people I've known have felt like that. I guess that doesn't happen. That will to live, as you say -- so strong. And I think it's the same whether people have great faith or no faith...they simply don't want to let go of all that they know. Bless her -- she is grace personified and I had the hardest damn time letting go of her as she clung and sobbed when I was leaving. As my mother used to say when she talked about the afterlife: God, you have got some explaining to do about why you let things happen. (And, knowing my mother, God was pretty intimidated when they finally met in heaven!)

With all you have gone through, with Rose and Victoria and countless others, I think steeling yourself for the loss of this dear and wonderful friend of so many years. Pre-dealing is a good word for it. You know it's coming, you cannot stop it and you simply have to prepare for it. Es

SMALL TOWN CHURCHES

This came from a former parisherner:


You would have loved to be at church on Sunday. It was "Glenn" (Glenn was this African American guy who regular hit me and the Church up for funds, mostly related to some scam) revisited! It's about 11:50, the pastor is wrapping up her "non" sermon (she admitted to being OBE last week so hadn't prepared a "true" sermon), and the door at the back of the church opens, and it was obvious someone had come in. I didn't turn around to look, but after saying hello, it was obvious she had been distracted. Finally, she invites the person to come in and sit down. A black gentleman, dressed in a 70s type suit, enters and sits in the front row on the side by the piano. Ella Ray finishes her comments, starts into the benediction and stops to ask the gentleman his name ... Pastor "somebody or other." I couldn't understand his name. He stands up, tears flowing down his cheek and says how wonderful this church is, how it's the third church God had lead him to this morning, and it was obvious we were colorblind. The story continues. I'd like to believe it was real, but I'm skeptical; however, it was well done. He's on his way to Tracy from Colorado to start a new job Monday morning at 6:00 a.m. The job ... his own "reality" show. His background? He's a four-time grammy award winner, having written "Oh Happy Day," in 1969, another hit for Earth, Wind, and Fire, and two for MC Hammer. He's a little down on his luck and needs $390 for a truck to move his furniture into the house in Tracy and get his wife and 11 kids out of the motel. His parents abandoned him as a child, and his grandmother raised him, requiring him to go to church every Sunday. He's supposedly 53 and a diabetic. (I learned that information downstairs.) Whether or not all this is true, and I doubt it, this guy is REALLY talented. The pastor asks him if he can sing, and he sits down at the piano, plays and sings, and he's GOOD!!! It was one of those, "You had to be there moments." I know he collected at least $60, $20 from Bobbie, and $40 from Sterling downstairs, and I'm not sure what he got upstairs. He said he'd be back because this was a good church and what's a little drive to worship God. So, we may have the reincarnation of Glenn! LOL sma

HAD TO MAKE MY RESPONSE AS IT REMINDED ME OF A GREAT STORY
I ran into a guy, (seems to be African American types more often; I think it has to do with they've figured out how to appeal to our collective guilt). Anyway, this guy started his spiel. Well dressed, stranded, etc. I stopped him midway and said, "I think you are scamming me but here's twenty, just in case there's some truth in it." He was happy and I hedged my bets in case there was truth in it. Reminds me of this priest I use to work with. He would tell these tall stories and one day the commander called him on it since he was late for a meeting. Something like he was late because he had stopped to help someone in an accident, had to pull bodies from a flaming car, etc. The cdr sends someone to check--Finally going to get this guy. You could read his mind. Guess what? Turns out to be true. The Priest had stopped to help some folks who had plunged down a hill, pulled the people from the car. So....WHO KNOWS? My philosophy? Don't take a chance.

THE NAM: Chaplains' Assistants--unsung heroes

Returned from visit to my mom's in NJ and found your book in my mail, thank you very much. I turned immediately to the page you marked and found what you had written about me to be great, thanks again. One small note though, I was Presbyterian, not Catholic.*** I would like to give you a little history as to how I got to where you were in the Nam. I enlisted in May of '66 and requested Airborne - Viet Nam. All my training was 11B from basic, leadership training company, advanced infantry training and jump school. Along the way I specialized in indirect fire weapons - mortors - the 60, 81mm and the 4.2, this changed my mos to 11C. After I was assigned to the 101st at Fort Campbell, KY a Chaplain Bell had put in a request for a chaplains assistant for which I applied and interviewd for. There were lots of applicants but I was chosen. I worked for Chaplain Bell untill he was transfered out and Chaplain Brown was transfered in. We were deployed with the advanced party of Eagle Thrust on Nov 22 1967. All My 71M (MOS-military occupational specialty) training came OJT (On the job). I felt blessed because I achieved my original enlistment goal and was able to do a lot outside the scope of normal Infantry, such as working with Special Forces on humane missions in far off Montangard hamlets and villages, helping the Nuns and orphans with items and supplies people back in the World would send to us. But most of all, working with you ( which was a great experience) and Ch. Brown I was able to help my fellow soldiers in a great many ways that would have never happened if I wasn't part of your team. Thank you again...........Casey

***In the Nam, didn't worry about stuff like this--who was Catholic or whatever. I always think that when I hear these disputes and even awful violet happenings like Muslims attacking Christians or vice versa, these really are terms, they are labels and have nothing really to do with the true beliefs of the respective religions.

A NETHERLAND

It is sad about Victoria, but that's the glass half empty view. On the glass half full side, she may be close to getting what has been her heart's desire for a long time, to be reunited with her mother, father, and brother. I know she has NO fear of dying, and that too is a blessing. SMA

Recently, Jackie, my wife, said to me. "Victoria sat up in bed and said a very curious thing: she is so happy, just excited." When I asked what she meant, she said she really didn't know. I allowed that possibly it had to do with her soon journey from this life into the next. As our good friend above has said, Victoria has talked for years about meeting her Mom and Dad and her beloved brother, Fred. In fact, when she moved to the Health Center at the Sequios, where she lives, she put their pictures in front of the TV and has refused to permit us to move them. Maybe she senses the move to be with her beloved family. Her body has not chosen to let go but her spirit has. There are so many things that I have wondered about death. Is there a kind of nether land, a between spot, not the Catholic purgotory but a kind of way station. Maybe Victoria is already there and it is a matter of time. God bless her.

THE NASTINEST OF THE RIGHT WING

There's a side of me that honestly doesn't know how we have gotten to
this place in our society. Of course, all the talking heads can give
you various answers. It is a little like CA: largest state in the
union, very complex and contentious. Plenty of answers but few willing
to take the hard path.

A dose in perspective would help all those who seem to know all the answers, however. I was on the bus today and sat beside this lady who had one of these POW bracelets that we use to see. I commented on it and she said my son's commander sent it to me. My son was killed in Afghanistan last year. I was absolutely floored. Speechless was more like it. Immediately, I thought of what Dr.Boyce, my seminary professor told us once: sometimes there is a sympathy so great for people that you simply don't know what to say. Or, there is nothing to say. Talk about "getting it," today I did.

God bless you my brother.

Jerry

Claude brings up some good points. and something I'm wondering if it is being addressed at the chaplain's school. It should be and with the idea of what role the media plays. Claude, for instance, had enough smarts to play it
cool and understand that the media would distort or put the chaplains in a bad light. Knowing Claude as we do, we know that he was just too smart to get trapped. Today, the media is much more sophistigated as well as the chaplains and soldiers. They have Internet, email, instant everything. Today's chaplains have a lot to navigate. Maybe, here's where the indorser has to come in. What think? God bless. Jerry

Jerry,

Set down clearly what you think the schools should teach about the media; I have UM contacts in all the schools and will pass on to them.

Peace,

Tom Carter
Director of Endorsement


Tom, thanks for giving me this say. Here's what I think off the top of my head.
1. Should invite some media types in: both print and Internet, etc. like Slate. What do they report, how do they go about it, etc. Relate some stories like we're talking about. Maybe a good hard hitting round table.
ARE THEY INTERESTED IN THE TRUTH OR A STORY?

2. Some way to educate commanders. Unfortunately, so many of these guys have the same problem we have, rarely can they speak the truth. I mean, politics aside, in both Iraq and Afghanistan, we are in a mess. Let anyone dispute it. I'm listening.

3. Let the chaplains discuss what they believe their role is; personality does play a part, i. e., an SJ will approach different than an NT for instance but all will face, "loyalty to Pentagon or to God."

4. Chaplains should have a proactive PAO person, probably at the Chief's office. Much like Dave had when he was at Fort Bragg. The Chaplains got more publicity than Britney Spears. This person could be on top of the scene when chaplains are involved, not to interfere but the idea of, what is the role confusion issue? Chaplains have to be free to express opinions and say what they believe. I have read so much stuff from WW 11 chaplains and did they ever have it easy. All they had to do was minister.

5. Has to be emphasized that we are not spokespersons for the military and we are ministers in uniform and more likely than not, soldiers still trust us.

Tom, if I can think of anything else, will fire it off to you. God bless. You're doing good work. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Jerry}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

THE BRAVEST OF THE BRAVE

Today, I did what Jackie often says to me "you are now free to move about San Francisco." And, I did, went to the Blues Festival for a bit, like an ADD type might. As I was making my way back across the City, I saw hundreds of breast cancer survivors apparently finishing their three day participation in a walkathon. It was pretty inspiring, people were cheering and clapping all across town. They began by camping out all night on the Marina in little pink tents. Quite a sight. At UCSF (University of CA at San Francisco which is the medschool and all the health Sciences) UCSF is always listed as one of the top hospitals in the world when it comes to treating and fighting cancer. UCSF has these quilts made by survivors all over the hospital. I'll post a few. They are great.

MASH

I was watching a rerun of M*A*S*H. I heard a quote by Frank Burns that I thought was so funny. Had to go out to Internet to find it. Thought I would pass along. Unless we all conform, unless we follow our leaders blindly, there is no possible way we can remain free.




This is funny. Mash use to be on my daily schduled activities. I've seen all the shows. Ujongbu which they are constantly referencing in the show is where I was for two years. 2077 Mash was about a mile away from Camp Red Cloud where I was. Our running group, The Camp Red Cloud Thinclads would run by where it use to be every morning. The only part of Mash that was actually filmed in Korea was the opening with the helicopter coming in with the mountains in the background. Thanks for sharing.

Email Exchanges on grief, family, war

***I suppose this is a busy weekend for you. It is a difficult one for me as my
emotions seem to be divided up between honor and anger. I continue to
concentrate on my brother's memories so they do not fade as I grow older. I
know it is hard for the loved ones of those killed in Vietnam to figure out
a good reason for their death because of the way our government pulled out
of there when we could have been victorious, but I keep referring back to my
brother's letter where he wrote "we don't belong here...these boys should be
back home....but if it means it keeps my little brother from having to come
over here....then it is all worth it! As usual...he was always thinking of
others. I miss him dearly.
Ruth

Ruth, it is so great hearing from you. I think of you so very often.

One of the things I've learned about grief over the years is that
there is no timetable. I'm sure you miss your brother terribly and in
many ways, it is just like yesterday. Plus, there is no right way or wrong way to grieve. Whatever way you do it is the right way.

Today I had a wedding. In fact, I decided that it was the last one I'm
going to do. And, I will have to say that it was a good one to end on.
An African American couple who wrote their vows and he sang his to her.

My connection to the bride was through Rose, that I drove to her chemo appointments every week for almost two years. (I've kept a blog called, tuesdayswithrose.typepad.com) Rose died last Oct. Charlotte,
the bride, lived in the same apartment building and was so kind
to Rose and when she asked me to do her wedding, I couldn't refuse and
did it in honor of Rose. I still miss Rose terribly but feel her
spirit is here as I'm sure you do with Tim.

I was watching the Memorial Concert tonight and as usual, it was
wonderful. But, I couldn't help wondering about the young soldier who
had lost half his brain and was so severely impacted--they featured
him on the program. I just wondered if the soldier had been given his
choice, what would he want? To die on the battlefield or to be in the
state he is now, hardly knows he's in the world. His mother and sister
giving up their lives to care for him. Is that what he would want.
What do think?

Ruth, so great hearing from you, a wonderful Memorial Day gift. Thank
you. God bless.

Jerry



Jerry, I am sad to hear about the passing of your friend, it sounds like she had a
difficult battle towards the end. In the last 12 years I have visited my mom
in the nursing home I have come to one conclusion and that is I will never
let myself live to the point where I am in my own world that can not be
shared with others. That would be such a lonely place to be.

I don't understand the fact that we will put our pets out of pain and misery and yet
we let our love ones live on in a place no one but them understand or do
even they? They say life is suppose to be a journey and where can one go if
they are tied to a wheel chair, slumped over and seem to be caught in between
two worlds....it would seem like they were lingering and the loved ones are
to selfish to let them go and the nursing home is still making a buck on
them.

I am sure if these people would know before hand they would be caught
in limbo, they would ask for the same mercy we give our pets. I think Dr
Kevorkian had the right idea but just the wrong process. Everyone should be
able to make choices. People speak of suicide and how it is a sin, but I
don't think the God I know would view it as such, why would he want anyone
to suffer unnecessarily. Are we so selfish in wanting them to stay? We are
asking them to be in our world and under our conditions...yet we can not
share their world as we have no idea where that is.

It also angries me, the media does little to cover the wars and conflicts where loved ones are dying on a regular bases...it just seems as no one cares anymore. They give no reports of the number of soldiers who come back with PTSD, missing limbs, brain dead or many other traumas. It seems like Paris Hilton and Britney
Spears and their parties or rehabs of taken over the news, now how silly is
that or should I say...how stupid is that? Memorial Day is no longer what it
was set up for...it has just become the "first summer holiday" for three
days of boozing or boating, fishing...the first week-end back to work no one
talks about what the did to honor someone on Memorial Day but rather where
did they go out of town. I feel sorry for the young man you were talking
about, what a sacrifice he has made. But if he was able to tell his family
how he felt, I have no doubt he would ask them to let him go. I would not
want to see his family giving up their lives to tend to him. In early wars
they did not have the medical expertise that they do now. If someone had
half his brain blown away...he would have died.Bottom line....is it greed
from many sources that keep these people in limbo keep living?

My reborn again sister is still living outside of the world of reality. She
says she believes in the rapture. She told me on the day...if the pilot of
a jet was a Christian and the passengers were not....the pilot would be
taken by God and saved and the rest of the non-Christian people in the plane
would crash and die. She goes to a church that talks in tongues. She is up
set with her kids as she does not think they go to church enough. It is
almost like she loves them more if they attend church.
Ruth

Ruth, thanks for the family slitrep. Families can be something else to
say the least. My brother and I have just finished our family memoirs
of our growing up years on a tobacco farm in eastern North Carolina.
It has been about seven years in the making and my family is pretty
much opposite than yours.

Religious right wing types are somewhat of a phenomena: they proof
text the scriptures, meaning they take one little portion and zero in
on it and that is all they give credence too. As my seminary professor
use to say, "you can prove anything you want by the Bible but you
can't prove anything you want too by the whole Bible. "

In writing our family memoirs we were often badgered with religion of
the right wing type but what made a vast difference in our family is
that my Dad who in present day terms would be spiritual but not
religious. We laughed lots about it and my aunts who were so involved,
along with my Grandpa who was a Pentecostal preacher. My Dad would
often laugh at their antics and they laughed at themselves and that
made all the difference in the world. My brothers tell stories of my
aunts shouting and falling onto the floor. It was something like an
earthquake since my aunts topped the scales at close to 300 pounds. We
still laugh and talk about it.

God richly bless you.

*** To read more of Ruth's writings go to READ RUTH'S BOOK: FACES BEHIND THE NAMES