Tammy Faye has gone on to her just rewards. I'm a little sad. I saw the documentary, The Eyes of Tammy Faye, done by two gay guys. Very interesting and I think I might watch it again--what I got from it before was the mutual respect of the film makers and their subject.
What a storied background that Ms. Tammy has lived. Most of us got to know her when, along with her former husband, Jim, they were ripping off the faithful. All of us know that story and the downfall. When it happened, I had mixed feeling, although never a fan. I was constantly asking questions: how could people be so stupid as to be taken in by these two. But, to be fair, I was constantly asking that of all the televangelists, whether they promised riches or keys to the kingdom.
I always thought that Jim and Tammy Faye were kind of naive with a simple message that made people want to believe. And, then there was Jim's near tryst with a not quite so innocent believer, Jessica Hahn. He didn't quite seem to know how to pull that off--there was always a question of whether they got it on or not. And, let's face it, Jessica made out financially OK. Maybe a little disillusionment, although it didn't keep her from having breast augmentation.
Remarkably, Tammy Faye and even Jim, after a little prison time, went on to rebuild their lives somewhat. So, as often happens in our culture, the famous become infamous.
Larry King announced Tammy's departure on his show. She had promised him "dibs." The last time she was on his show, she allowed as how she was going straight to heaven once it was time. Tammy, I don't doubt that but since nobody knows quite how heaven works, I can't believe that you're not going to have to wait a bit--straight I would think refers to those like Mother Teresa and others who probably never concerned themselves with the Larry King show.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Father's Day
Being A Father by John Henry Lee:
Are any of us the father we want to be or wish we'd been? I doubt it. Most of the Dads I know do the best they can, relatively speaking. The flip side of the coin is that there are some pretty sorry fathers. Amazingly, so many kids constantly are searching for their fathers, literally or figuratively, regardless if they were good or bad; there's something about wanting to know your real Dad: amazing.
I first encountered it when I was part of a group that started the organization, Vietnam Veterans Southeast Asia Children's Project, mostly working with Amerasian (mothers are Asian and fathers mostly American GIs) kids: all of them wanted to find their American fathers who didn't want anything to do with them. Pretty sad, but understandable. I remember one vet I located --he was so outraged that I would contact him because he had his own life now, wife, kids,etc. Vietnam was over forever and he doubted if the kid was his anyway. (I actually wrote a play about my encounter with him; and, if I ever get any big money, I'm going to produce it.)
Let's face it: In a real sense, the greatest job; or, at least the second (Mother first maybe) that anyone would ever have, is being a father. My own Dad was terrific; and, even today, I hear many things inside my head from him.
Recently, I was in a situation, not so much with me, but with a friend and I said, "The only thing I know to tell you is an expression my Dad used all the time: 'You might as well laugh as cry.' " I was amazed at hearing myself saying, "You might as well laugh as cry." I had not thought of the expression in years; and yet, when I needed the cogent comment, there was my Dad. Also, someone said to me recently, what was your first memory? Hands down it was when my Dad "whipped the daylights out of me" for cursing. I was about six.
There is a concept that we invent the parent of our childhood. I don't know. I do know that my older brothers and I have a somewhat different view of our Dad. I was the youngest, hung out with him lots and listened to his stories. He was a great storyteller and I listened over and over to the same one which always varied just a shade each time. From what I hear from my brothers, I got the best of him. When they were younger, putting bread on the table and making sure there was a future i.e., in other words, surviving consumed much of my Dad's time. When I came along, those things were more or less secured I think or maybe my Dad was just a little more easy-going with his sixth child, who knows.
But, I am a product of my own Dad and my children are of me. Please God, I hope I've done a good job, the most important one I'll ever have. Happy Father's Day and a special Hoooo-aaaaah to all the fathers in the armed forces who are away from their children this year.
JHL
Are any of us the father we want to be or wish we'd been? I doubt it. Most of the Dads I know do the best they can, relatively speaking. The flip side of the coin is that there are some pretty sorry fathers. Amazingly, so many kids constantly are searching for their fathers, literally or figuratively, regardless if they were good or bad; there's something about wanting to know your real Dad: amazing.
I first encountered it when I was part of a group that started the organization, Vietnam Veterans Southeast Asia Children's Project, mostly working with Amerasian (mothers are Asian and fathers mostly American GIs) kids: all of them wanted to find their American fathers who didn't want anything to do with them. Pretty sad, but understandable. I remember one vet I located --he was so outraged that I would contact him because he had his own life now, wife, kids,etc. Vietnam was over forever and he doubted if the kid was his anyway. (I actually wrote a play about my encounter with him; and, if I ever get any big money, I'm going to produce it.)
Let's face it: In a real sense, the greatest job; or, at least the second (Mother first maybe) that anyone would ever have, is being a father. My own Dad was terrific; and, even today, I hear many things inside my head from him.
Recently, I was in a situation, not so much with me, but with a friend and I said, "The only thing I know to tell you is an expression my Dad used all the time: 'You might as well laugh as cry.' " I was amazed at hearing myself saying, "You might as well laugh as cry." I had not thought of the expression in years; and yet, when I needed the cogent comment, there was my Dad. Also, someone said to me recently, what was your first memory? Hands down it was when my Dad "whipped the daylights out of me" for cursing. I was about six.
There is a concept that we invent the parent of our childhood. I don't know. I do know that my older brothers and I have a somewhat different view of our Dad. I was the youngest, hung out with him lots and listened to his stories. He was a great storyteller and I listened over and over to the same one which always varied just a shade each time. From what I hear from my brothers, I got the best of him. When they were younger, putting bread on the table and making sure there was a future i.e., in other words, surviving consumed much of my Dad's time. When I came along, those things were more or less secured I think or maybe my Dad was just a little more easy-going with his sixth child, who knows.
But, I am a product of my own Dad and my children are of me. Please God, I hope I've done a good job, the most important one I'll ever have. Happy Father's Day and a special Hoooo-aaaaah to all the fathers in the armed forces who are away from their children this year.
JHL
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
MAKING SENSE OF THE SENSELESS
There is simply no way to make sense of the senseless killings at Virginia Tech. What we try to do is put some sort of sensible explanation on the inexplicable tragedy. Impossible!
I know the school really well and have been there many times and can imagine the pall covering the school like a shroud.
HOW DO WE ATTEMPT TO PUT MEANING TO THE TRAGEDY?
First, there was the convocation; a kind of memorial service. Good idea--let the grieving come to some sort of "life goes on." Speeches, politicians, the President representing America. The highlight was a Virginia Tech professor. At first I wondered why she felt the need to equate the tragedy with most every evil in the world but still, no criticism here. She ended well, "We are strong and brave and innocent and unafraid. We are better than we think, not quite what we want to be. We are alive to the imagination and the possibility. We will continue to invent the future through our blood and tears, through all this sadness. We are the Hokies! We will prevail, we will prevail! We are Virginia Tech!"
After her speech, there was wild applause, an outpouring of emotion. I was moved.
No explanation for the tragedy. We live in a very violent society. One of the thoughts among many as I watched and listened to the Memorial Service: in Iraq, the Iraqis experience this every single day. Almost 200 dead Iraqis in the last few days.
THE SHOOTER. Korean. And, based on my knowledge of the Korean people, they literally will be burdened about this in a big way. One of their own, although in America, they will see it as "losing face." Their whole lives are built around the Confucian philosophy. It really is not a religion but a philosophy of living. Kibun is the word which most describes it: means well being. In KoreaTown in Los Angeles, the feelings of shame are rampant. There are over 2 million Koreans in America. No single group of people revere America like the South Koreans. In some ways, it is a love/hate relationship. Based on who they are, older Koreans will be the first to tell you that they would not exist had it not been for the American rescue during the Korean war. Younger Koreans who have not lived through it love the American way of life but not the Americans.
In this tragedy, however, all South Koreans will stand toe to toe in shame. Americans view a tragedy of this nature as sad, useless. They weep with the people. They lament the loss but they do so individually. Not so with the Koreans, as a country, they see that they are shamed by a fellow countryman. They hang their head, even though they have no responsibility in it.
THE MEDIA
In this tragedy, we are faced with the ambiguities of what the media means to our society. We want news, we are an open society, the media performs a useful function. However, as I watched all the media malaise, I couldn't help but think, what is going on? A circus! And, what we realize as usual is that the media is not interested in the truth, grief, whatever--they are interested in a story. And, they are giving us stories.
THE TRAGEDY
Grief is a powerfully consuming emotion without adequate description and feelings for the parents is an empathy that any parent knows. They sent their kids off to college and were concerned about grades, the choices they would make, binge drinking, adinfinitum but safety was not high on the priority list.
Any death is sad and the loss of the physical presence, the ability to call the son or daughter and say, "how's it going?" For those killed, they are gone.
As my seminary professor often said, "Sometimes there is a sympathy for people that is so great that you simply do not know what to say." I am there.
A type of terror came to roost at Virginia Tech and it was in the form of a lone crazy. There is no answer. We second guess. Some use it to push their issues, gun control, lack of response. Whatever. Simply, it is and our hearts go out to the loved ones of those murdered. God help us.
I know the school really well and have been there many times and can imagine the pall covering the school like a shroud.
HOW DO WE ATTEMPT TO PUT MEANING TO THE TRAGEDY?
First, there was the convocation; a kind of memorial service. Good idea--let the grieving come to some sort of "life goes on." Speeches, politicians, the President representing America. The highlight was a Virginia Tech professor. At first I wondered why she felt the need to equate the tragedy with most every evil in the world but still, no criticism here. She ended well, "We are strong and brave and innocent and unafraid. We are better than we think, not quite what we want to be. We are alive to the imagination and the possibility. We will continue to invent the future through our blood and tears, through all this sadness. We are the Hokies! We will prevail, we will prevail! We are Virginia Tech!"
After her speech, there was wild applause, an outpouring of emotion. I was moved.
No explanation for the tragedy. We live in a very violent society. One of the thoughts among many as I watched and listened to the Memorial Service: in Iraq, the Iraqis experience this every single day. Almost 200 dead Iraqis in the last few days.
THE SHOOTER. Korean. And, based on my knowledge of the Korean people, they literally will be burdened about this in a big way. One of their own, although in America, they will see it as "losing face." Their whole lives are built around the Confucian philosophy. It really is not a religion but a philosophy of living. Kibun is the word which most describes it: means well being. In KoreaTown in Los Angeles, the feelings of shame are rampant. There are over 2 million Koreans in America. No single group of people revere America like the South Koreans. In some ways, it is a love/hate relationship. Based on who they are, older Koreans will be the first to tell you that they would not exist had it not been for the American rescue during the Korean war. Younger Koreans who have not lived through it love the American way of life but not the Americans.
In this tragedy, however, all South Koreans will stand toe to toe in shame. Americans view a tragedy of this nature as sad, useless. They weep with the people. They lament the loss but they do so individually. Not so with the Koreans, as a country, they see that they are shamed by a fellow countryman. They hang their head, even though they have no responsibility in it.
THE MEDIA
In this tragedy, we are faced with the ambiguities of what the media means to our society. We want news, we are an open society, the media performs a useful function. However, as I watched all the media malaise, I couldn't help but think, what is going on? A circus! And, what we realize as usual is that the media is not interested in the truth, grief, whatever--they are interested in a story. And, they are giving us stories.
THE TRAGEDY
Grief is a powerfully consuming emotion without adequate description and feelings for the parents is an empathy that any parent knows. They sent their kids off to college and were concerned about grades, the choices they would make, binge drinking, adinfinitum but safety was not high on the priority list.
Any death is sad and the loss of the physical presence, the ability to call the son or daughter and say, "how's it going?" For those killed, they are gone.
As my seminary professor often said, "Sometimes there is a sympathy for people that is so great that you simply do not know what to say." I am there.
A type of terror came to roost at Virginia Tech and it was in the form of a lone crazy. There is no answer. We second guess. Some use it to push their issues, gun control, lack of response. Whatever. Simply, it is and our hearts go out to the loved ones of those murdered. God help us.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
DON HO--Mr. Slack Jaw
This was a humorous name given Don by a neighbor when I lived in Germany. Don Ho recently transitioned from this life to the next. He's up there singing Tiny Bubbles in God's heavenly choir. I have no doubt.
American GIs on R and R in Hawaii were introduced to Don and in ways big and small, he endeared himself. I remember his talk during his show. It went something like, "I want to welcome all the American GIs from Vietnam to my part of the world and to the show. I cannot begin to tell you how much you mean to me and to all Hawaiians. When I was a little boy I use to marvel at the planes flying into and out of Hawaii. And, I was inspired and joined up. One of my all time best decisions. Thank you for what you are doing and never forget, we love you and appreciate you. God bless you and return you home safely"
There we sat, a little like Lil' Abner's, Joe Btfsplk with a cloud hanging over our heads, never doubting for a moment that Don was sincere. Don eased our pain a little and we've never forgotten him. He was more than an entertainer, he was Hawaii and for a few short days so were we. So long Don, slack jaw or not, our world is a little reduced since you're not in it.
American GIs on R and R in Hawaii were introduced to Don and in ways big and small, he endeared himself. I remember his talk during his show. It went something like, "I want to welcome all the American GIs from Vietnam to my part of the world and to the show. I cannot begin to tell you how much you mean to me and to all Hawaiians. When I was a little boy I use to marvel at the planes flying into and out of Hawaii. And, I was inspired and joined up. One of my all time best decisions. Thank you for what you are doing and never forget, we love you and appreciate you. God bless you and return you home safely"
There we sat, a little like Lil' Abner's, Joe Btfsplk with a cloud hanging over our heads, never doubting for a moment that Don was sincere. Don eased our pain a little and we've never forgotten him. He was more than an entertainer, he was Hawaii and for a few short days so were we. So long Don, slack jaw or not, our world is a little reduced since you're not in it.
Saturday, April 07, 2007
EASTER--FACT OR FICTION
I don't know and it doesn't matter. Happy Easter. What prompted this look anew at my beliefs was a recently conversation I had with someone. She was giving me the typical California view of faith or lack thereof: Jesus was a good teacher, like Buddha or Mohammed or the wind, nature or whatever. I said, no sweat with me. It is fine for you to believe anything you want. What I didn't tell her was that I was raised in Primitive Baptist NC and they basically have a belief that they don't proselytize and so if "you want to go to hell" in their terms, fine with them, choice.
PERSONAL BELIEFS
My friend said something like, "I don't see how anyone can possibly believe in all the illogical things that Christians do: heaven, hell, adinfinitum." Well, it is called faith and by its very definition, it cannot be proven. And, in fact, it is why it is called faith. Faith is, by the Christian Bible definition--the substance of things hoped for but not seen.
CNN had a series of specials, well, two I saw that examined Christianity. It was what most of us know if we think about it: Christians are as varied as there are people, especially how we practice. For instance, there are the Catholics that are wedded to Canonical law and rules and regulations. There are some things that you have to do and be in order to be a "good" Catholic. For the rest of us Christians, with something like 150 denominations, what it boils down too essentially is faith. It is what makes it faith--cannot prove it, touch it, know for sure what it is. It just is. And, for the person who follows all the ideas of the Bible as well as the person who sees God in nature or pizza dough, it is all about faith.
MATTHEW, MARK, LUKE AND JOHN
And, I mostly say, I am a Christina and it is my faith that makes me so. I don't have a need to be logical about it, prove it, have a theory--simply my faith that comes mainly from the Bible, especially the synoptic gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. These gospels are what Jesus said and did: the rest of the New Testament is interpretations of what He said and did. Consequently, you can put on your own interpretation.
THE CONVERSION EXPERIENCE
What I strongly believe in is the "conversion" experience. Most Christians don't get it and simply, people's experiences are all different. And, no one can say a person's experience is invalid. They might say they don't believe it, see it another way or that you are a fool; however, they cannot say it is not your experience. For instance, the conversion may come like the Apostle Paul who was struck down on the Damascus Road and blinded according to the Bible. But, all "conversion experiences" do not come like this. For some, the conversion might be shrouded in mystery, wrapped in logic or the "still" quiet voice. For instance, I was "saved" as a 12 year old at a small rural Church during the annual Revival Meeting. Saved is one of those Christian "buzz" words, part of the language. And, as I look back on it today, there's an enormous amount of humor in it. Regardless, it was my conversion, I remember it like yesterday and believe in it. From then on, it is a matter of wrestling with life.
SIN AND SINS
Sin is one of those wonderful but misunderstood words. When I read that someone has sinned, i. e., so and so is a sinner, I always say, "says who?" Jesus has the best metaphor: when asked by his enemies what should happen to a woman taken in adultery where the usual punishment was stoned until dead. He used the word sin--one of my favorite scenes, he who is without sin, let him cast the first stone. The completed picture to the story is when he says to her, "where are your accusers? Neither do I condemn you, "go and sin no more." Sin (actually sins) in this case was powerful and loving, not condemnatory. Jesus was the original renaissance man.
What few modern Christians understand is the basic difference in sin and sins. Sin is really the mystery of what Jesus did for us on the cross. And, it is all that surrounds the mystery: the language of religion: saved, redemption, blood, all of it. And, the conversion is when we accept what He did: the suffering, the dying on the cross, and the Easter message of His life--the resurrection--however it may be or however it may have happened is almost beside the point. And, in my faith, it never has to happen again. The sin is taken care of forever--you accept.
The rest of life is lived in dealing with the "sins" the living in the flesh. It is part of being human, whatever that may be. And, every single individual has to deal with the handling of the sins on his/her own. That is faith. Sometimes we fail, sometimes we get it, sometimes we don't. And, then of course, there are all the beliefs surrounding that: heaven, hell, etc.; part of the faith is believing in all of it regardless of how illogical it might sound. It is faith.
INTERFAITH LOGIC
I've never been much for interfaith meanderings. It doesn't do anything for me personally. People can believe what they want and as a buddy of mine once jokingly said to me, "don't say God bless you. Say,'may the God of your choice bless you.' " Well, I don't believe in all these faiths and that we are going to be OK. I am a Christian, I am comfortable in my faith. I don't know about these other people. I don't know what their fate in life is and it is not my job to find out. I don't have any doubts into the claims of my faith. So, there you have it. A last thing: my basic mantra about Christianity is that it is at its core, a faith of peace. Jesus constantly talked about peace. When he said, I have not come to give y ou peace but a sword. To me, he was talking personal, no doubt about it, the dealing with the flesh and wrestling with sins. The most violet thing He ever did was throw the money changers out of the temple. "I will not have you making my father's house a den of thieves. I like it. God bless you.
PERSONAL BELIEFS
My friend said something like, "I don't see how anyone can possibly believe in all the illogical things that Christians do: heaven, hell, adinfinitum." Well, it is called faith and by its very definition, it cannot be proven. And, in fact, it is why it is called faith. Faith is, by the Christian Bible definition--the substance of things hoped for but not seen.
CNN had a series of specials, well, two I saw that examined Christianity. It was what most of us know if we think about it: Christians are as varied as there are people, especially how we practice. For instance, there are the Catholics that are wedded to Canonical law and rules and regulations. There are some things that you have to do and be in order to be a "good" Catholic. For the rest of us Christians, with something like 150 denominations, what it boils down too essentially is faith. It is what makes it faith--cannot prove it, touch it, know for sure what it is. It just is. And, for the person who follows all the ideas of the Bible as well as the person who sees God in nature or pizza dough, it is all about faith.
MATTHEW, MARK, LUKE AND JOHN
And, I mostly say, I am a Christina and it is my faith that makes me so. I don't have a need to be logical about it, prove it, have a theory--simply my faith that comes mainly from the Bible, especially the synoptic gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. These gospels are what Jesus said and did: the rest of the New Testament is interpretations of what He said and did. Consequently, you can put on your own interpretation.
THE CONVERSION EXPERIENCE
What I strongly believe in is the "conversion" experience. Most Christians don't get it and simply, people's experiences are all different. And, no one can say a person's experience is invalid. They might say they don't believe it, see it another way or that you are a fool; however, they cannot say it is not your experience. For instance, the conversion may come like the Apostle Paul who was struck down on the Damascus Road and blinded according to the Bible. But, all "conversion experiences" do not come like this. For some, the conversion might be shrouded in mystery, wrapped in logic or the "still" quiet voice. For instance, I was "saved" as a 12 year old at a small rural Church during the annual Revival Meeting. Saved is one of those Christian "buzz" words, part of the language. And, as I look back on it today, there's an enormous amount of humor in it. Regardless, it was my conversion, I remember it like yesterday and believe in it. From then on, it is a matter of wrestling with life.
SIN AND SINS
Sin is one of those wonderful but misunderstood words. When I read that someone has sinned, i. e., so and so is a sinner, I always say, "says who?" Jesus has the best metaphor: when asked by his enemies what should happen to a woman taken in adultery where the usual punishment was stoned until dead. He used the word sin--one of my favorite scenes, he who is without sin, let him cast the first stone. The completed picture to the story is when he says to her, "where are your accusers? Neither do I condemn you, "go and sin no more." Sin (actually sins) in this case was powerful and loving, not condemnatory. Jesus was the original renaissance man.
What few modern Christians understand is the basic difference in sin and sins. Sin is really the mystery of what Jesus did for us on the cross. And, it is all that surrounds the mystery: the language of religion: saved, redemption, blood, all of it. And, the conversion is when we accept what He did: the suffering, the dying on the cross, and the Easter message of His life--the resurrection--however it may be or however it may have happened is almost beside the point. And, in my faith, it never has to happen again. The sin is taken care of forever--you accept.
The rest of life is lived in dealing with the "sins" the living in the flesh. It is part of being human, whatever that may be. And, every single individual has to deal with the handling of the sins on his/her own. That is faith. Sometimes we fail, sometimes we get it, sometimes we don't. And, then of course, there are all the beliefs surrounding that: heaven, hell, etc.; part of the faith is believing in all of it regardless of how illogical it might sound. It is faith.
INTERFAITH LOGIC
I've never been much for interfaith meanderings. It doesn't do anything for me personally. People can believe what they want and as a buddy of mine once jokingly said to me, "don't say God bless you. Say,'may the God of your choice bless you.' " Well, I don't believe in all these faiths and that we are going to be OK. I am a Christian, I am comfortable in my faith. I don't know about these other people. I don't know what their fate in life is and it is not my job to find out. I don't have any doubts into the claims of my faith. So, there you have it. A last thing: my basic mantra about Christianity is that it is at its core, a faith of peace. Jesus constantly talked about peace. When he said, I have not come to give y ou peace but a sword. To me, he was talking personal, no doubt about it, the dealing with the flesh and wrestling with sins. The most violet thing He ever did was throw the money changers out of the temple. "I will not have you making my father's house a den of thieves. I like it. God bless you.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
PRESS RELEASE ON CHAPLAINS
EDITORIAL NOTE. As little as most Americans know about the military, they know even less about the military chaplaincy. For instance, do the chaplains get their sermons from God or the Pentagon? Below is a press release talking about the duties of chaplains. Although it is a little sterile, it is good and insightful. My memoir, Gun Totin' Chaplain deals with most of these things. All chaplains are different and it is merely one chaplain's approach to doing ministry in combat.
Subject: Meditating in the field: Chaplains bring higher power to combat
Multi-National Corps - Iraq
Public Affairs Office, Camp Victory
APO AE 09342
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
RELEASE No. 20070310-02
March 9, 2007
Meditating in the field: Chaplains bring higher power to combat
By Spc. Chris McCann, 2nd BCT, 10th Mtn. Div. (LI) Public Affairs
CAMP STRIKER, Iraq - It has been said that there are no atheists in
foxholes. The stress and life-and-death situations of combat can make
the most hardened soldier look toward a higher power.
In order to provide that counsel and communion, that hope and holiness,
there are chaplains.
Chaplain (Maj) Lonnie Locke, a native of Dothan, Ala., and chaplain for
the 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division (Light Infantry),
oversees his brigade's six chaplains. "A chaplain's main purpose is to be a representative between Soldiers and the commander," said Locke. "The religious program is the commander's, we just run it."
"We have a responsibility to see that each Soldier has his
constitutional right to worship as he sees fit," Locke said. "We're
ultimately here to uphold every Soldier's privilege of worship."
Aiding each chaplain in his duties is a chaplain's assistant, an
enlisted Soldier trained in the myriad necessities of the administrative
part of the chaplain's work.
"I think chaplain's assistants do not receive enough credit for what
they do," said Chaplain (Capt.) Jeffery Bryan of the 4th Battalion, 31st
Infantry Regiment, 2nd BCT. "Mine is excellent. Although I don't carry a
weapon, I don't feel any need to, because he does such a great job."
Locke agrees that chaplain's assistants play a critical role in unit
ministry.
"Chaplain's assistants have special skills as enlisted Soldiers," Locke
said. "They have the training and are able to see people's problems and
do 'triage' for us. They support us not only by being our protectors,
but also providing technical help." "We set up services for the chaplain," said Sgt. Michael Frickie, a native of Cache, Okla., and assistant to Chaplain (Capt.) Danny Wilson. They serve the 1st Squadron, 89th Cavalry Regiment, 2nd BCT. "During the
week we screen people who come in for counseling, do paperwork, whatever
the chaplain needs done. And off the forward operating bases, we're
bodyguards, since the chaplain is a noncombatant." The assistants, besides training on common tasks and Soldier skills,coordinate with units for training, environmental leave and deployment briefings, prayer breakfasts, and retreats.
Staff Sgt. Randall Hansen, a native of Alpine, Utah, and assistant to
Locke, explained that the chaplain's assistant position also carries
some heavy burdens. "We're trained to recognize the symptoms of combat stress and suicide," he said. "And we know basic intervention. We're also the funds clerks.
The chaplain's assistant gathers offerings and deposits them into
sub-accounts for each denomination. We keep accountability of each
group's funds."
Many assistants are drawn to the military occupational specialty because
they are religious, but the only requirement is that they demonstrate a
"higher moral character" than other Soldiers. "I'm the most irreligious guy you'll meet, especially compared with my comrades who go to church every week," Frickie said. "But I like being around the different people. I've learned a lot about different faiths since I've been in the Army."
Perhaps the toughest aspect of being a chaplain's assistant is that the
chaplain and his assistant are seldom of the same religious affiliation.
"You have to be flexible enough to work with any chaplain and his
religious preference," said Hansen. "It may not be the same."
The job also comes with rewards, he added. "Out in the field, we're able to move around and visit Soldiers to provide them with some small spiritual enhancement," Hansen said. "They're in the trenches and their spirits can get low. Any spirit we
can bring them, enhances them."
The chaplains are perhaps most visible while conducting religious
services, but that's not their primary workload, Locke said.
"Seventy to seventy-five percent of our work is done in counseling,
depending on where we're at," said Locke. "Back in the rear, most of it
is about relationships and marriage counseling. Here it's about death
and dying, coping with grief ...making sense of 'why God allowed my
friend to die.' Depending on where we're at, the type of counseling
changes."
"Chaplains and their assistants help Soldiers by befriending them in
battle and comforting them if they're hurt," Bryan said. "And we help
bring closure by conducting memorial ceremonies." Providing care for Soldiers in such trying circumstances can be trying in itself, Locke said, and it can be draining. That is where downtime comes in. "We have to do self-care," said Locke. "I like reading, prayer, exercising. And talking to other chaplains...it's good to have a battle buddy to vent and talk to. Sometimes, just having alone time. It's how I
recharge."
Bryan has had his share of tough experiences, he said. "One Soldier said, 'Sir, I am terrified of being killed by an (improvised explosive device), but when I'm with you, I'm not afraid.' A few months later, he was killed in an IED explosion, and the fact that he was this close to me was life-changing for me. But the worst part is
dealing with casualties," said Bryan. "I have been with Soldiers who
have (been injured.) I have shoved them into air medical evacuation
helicopters, and I have memorialized many of them." But he isn't going to give it up.
"I'm wired for counseling," he said. "It's part of my job that I really
enjoy. And it's amazing how people's problems fall into two or three
different categories. On the spiritual side, people get frustrated with
their lives, and they're seeking something in the physical world that
can only come through a strong spiritual relationship with God. They
need to redirect their attention from filling that void with other stuff
and realize that God is the only one who can fill that.
"On the other side, we do a lot of counseling about relationships and
deployments. Many people don't know how to communicate well. They need
to prepare their relationships for long periods of separation. They
deploy and leave their spouses behind with little support."
Spirituality, as well as communication, is critical in combat, said
Locke.
"In order to be ready as a Soldier for combat, you must be preparing
mentally and spiritually to (deal with death.) That's part of the mix -
the reality of life and death is very obvious in combat and religion
speaks about what there is after life." "Most Americans are religious," said Bryan. "Soldiers are no exception, and war causes many participants to consider life and death. Not only does freedom of religion help Soldiers deal with the issues of war, it helps support the very freedom of religion they fight for."
Trying to provide hope, though, can sometimes be frustrating, said
Locke. Making sure that all soldiers are taken care can be difficult.
"My frustration as the brigade chaplain - it's my responsibility to see
all denominations cared for. It's more and more difficult how few
Catholic priests, for example, are in the military. It's very difficult
to supply what the soldiers need. We need Catholic priests, rabbis - the
'minority' faith groups are in dire need of chaplains." In many cases, Soldiers can fill in as lay leaders for worship services. In others, religious doctrine forbids full services without the presence of ordained clergy.
"Catholics allow lay leaders to do the Liturgy of the Word, but not the
full Mass," Locke explained, citing an example. "It's a matter of
recruiting and getting priests and rabbis in, and the Army chaplaincy
doing a good job of dispersing chaplains where they need to be to
minister to faith groups in different places." Despite the frustrations, said Locke, he loves his job. Enlisted for four years in an aviation job, he planned to become a warrant officer and pilot before his life changed course. "I met a chaplain in Germany who really made me think," he said. "I felt God calling me - but was the Army preparation for a mission, or was it my mission?"
Looking back, he says, now he knows. "This is my mission. God intends for me to do what I do. And it's the
best job in the Army."
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Prayer Request
Tanya, a former Marine helicopter pilot in Iraq and now the mother of two, will soon undergo serious surgury. Her husband, also a Marine just back from Iraq, is home with her for the surgery. The good news is that she is in a super hospital: Loma Linda. When I was in the 82d, we had a massive jump into the Mojave Desert and had six paratroopers killed and 200 of us were banged up pretty badly. We all went to the Loma Linda hospital. I remember it like yesterday. They were so great and really looked after us. I was limping and hobbling around visiting the banged up soldiers and a nurse corralled me and said, "You look like you could use a cup of coffee." Well, I knew that was impossible because in the 7th Day Adventist, coffee is verboden. We went into her office and she opened up the bottom drawer and there were all these packets of coffee. A lifesaver and an example of how great they were. So, Tanya is in good hands. I will fervently pray. God bless Tanya and the children and the father.
Monday, January 29, 2007
FINAL EXAM
Final Exam is a fascinating book with a thesis that doctors are so geared to life that they don't know how to help their patients face death. Dr. Pauline Chen says that doctors fail patients miserably at the end of life. I think I love this woman. In my next life!
She's a liver transplant surgeon and is on the cusp when young people who often die too soon, give life to those almost dead waiting on a transplant. She talks about medical training and doesn't give the docs any slack--from the idea of how they treat the terminally ill, the turf battles among specialties, and the ritualized hazing of residents (I think she means long working hours and treating them like servants. I watch Scrubs afterall)
Having been a hospital chaplain, I get it. It was probably my worst assignment in 29 years and yet I think I did the most good. Working with docs who somehow think they are in the Trinity: Father, Son, Holy Spirit, doctors, not necessarily in that order, no day at the beach. As good as they are, I think it has to do with their training and the good Doc Chen addresses this. Way to go.
Friday, January 26, 2007
PHIL WOODALL'S MEMORIAL
HOW SHALL WE DIE
Teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. Psalms
90:12
Three score and ten years--perhaps fourscore--that is our life span, in
round numbers, according to the ancient psalmist. To a youngster in the
prime of life, seventy or eighty or ninety years seems to stretch out
in the an endless succession of days. But in fact, life has its limits;
our days are numbered. A seventy year life span equals exactly 25,567
days counting the extra days in leap years. We have no way of knowing
how many days are allotted to us. But even if we did know, a mere
numerical count of so many days would give us neither wisdom nor
virtue. Surely then, the psalmist meant something more than years when
he prayed, "teach us to number our days." When we make the psalmist's
brief prayer our own, we ask for wisdom rightly to contemplate our
mortality; but also we seek wisdom to live well all the remaining days
of our life.
This is, to me, the lesson of Phil Woodall's life. Phil passed from
this life into the next at a relatively young age: 58 but as we all
know, he lived his life, "large."
For us combat vets, we know Phil mostly as a soldier. He was not only a
good one but the best. As a member of a fire team, he distinguished
himself time and time again. His leadership was evident when he moved
to squad leader, then to the command section as the commander's Radio
Telephone Operator. Highly decorated for his tours of duty, Phil always
remained the poet. Most of us remember how, when the fighting lulled,
he would write his poetry. He would write it on toilet tissue, on c
rations boxes, anything available. In a sense, stretching from Vietnam
to throughout his life, his poetry touched the lives of scores. With
the aftermath of Vietnam, his statement, "they may have died in vain
but they lived in honor" remains the absolute definition of a
generation.
We will miss Phil, the fact that he is not physically any longer in our
world does have an impact. We will miss his presence at our reunions,
the phone calls, the emails, the new poetry scribbled on whatever he
had near. Our lives will not be the same. I think Angelo Patri had it
right: "in one sense, there is no death. The life of a soul on earth
last beyond his or her departure. We will always feel Phil's life
touching ours, that voice speaking to us, that spirit looking out of
other's eyes, talking to us in the familiar things he touched, worked
with, loved as familiar friends. Phil lives on in our lives and in the
lives of all that knew him." The "poetry" of his life lives forever.
Amen.
Saturday, December 16, 2006
SCROOGE SPEECH
I always get bothered around this season of the year for many reasons. Mostly it has to do with the fact that Christmas has truly become a cultural holiday. Sure, we constantly have the screamers on TV and others that talk about the true meaning of Christmas, issues of religious freedom or lack thereof, i. e., St. Paul, MN who had the Happy Easter sign removed from City Hall. Get it: Saint Paul. Then there is the buying of presents. For most Americans, we are out buying, trying to buy, whatever, for those who don't need anything.
A good buddy of mine told me this story recently, his Mom and sister decided, let's cut this out, giving each other gifts: take the money that we would spend and give it to a charity selected by the person who ordinarily would get the gift. All is well and suddenly the Mother decides that she is getting everybody a gift, just can't let it go.
I love this story: this couple is looking in the window at Macy's and suddenly one of them spies a little manger scene in the corner of the window and says, "Well, look at that, even the Church is trying to horn in on this Christmas business."
So, there you have it. I feel a little better having vented a little. However, I think my biggest issue, however, has to do with the fact that again, on this Christmas, we are war. Relatively speaking, it has affected few people, most Americans are untouched: Iraq what? I want us all to stop and be touched, concerned, pained that on this cultural holiday representing PEACE, we have America's young men and women on foreign soil. It really is hard to think about peace, the Prince of Peace in such times. God bless our soldiers and God bless us.
A good buddy of mine told me this story recently, his Mom and sister decided, let's cut this out, giving each other gifts: take the money that we would spend and give it to a charity selected by the person who ordinarily would get the gift. All is well and suddenly the Mother decides that she is getting everybody a gift, just can't let it go.
I love this story: this couple is looking in the window at Macy's and suddenly one of them spies a little manger scene in the corner of the window and says, "Well, look at that, even the Church is trying to horn in on this Christmas business."
So, there you have it. I feel a little better having vented a little. However, I think my biggest issue, however, has to do with the fact that again, on this Christmas, we are war. Relatively speaking, it has affected few people, most Americans are untouched: Iraq what? I want us all to stop and be touched, concerned, pained that on this cultural holiday representing PEACE, we have America's young men and women on foreign soil. It really is hard to think about peace, the Prince of Peace in such times. God bless our soldiers and God bless us.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
ON DEATH AND DYING
NOBODY WANTS TO TALK ABOUT A GOOD DEATH
Interesting "Frontline" story recently on the process of getting older (my interpretation). Over sixty percent of aging populations end up in nursing homes and almost 90% of those who go in, temporarily, stay. Watching it all was simply astounding, plus very sobering, which is the best word I can put on it. Also, talked about the "good" death.
It did get me to thinking, however; what I want to do is to make sure that somebody does me in when it is time. And, I am willing to let them decide. The difficulty is finding someone to do it. A buddy of mine in Alaska has said he would and I would for him but we haven't worked out the details. I think I'm going to look for a backup plan. Although this is said somewhat as tongue in cheek, the idea of lingering when I hardly know I'm in this world is totally unacceptable.
What is equally as interesting to me is that I wanted to discuss this with at least two groups of which I'm associated. In both, it was the "nobody is home look." Is it denial? What? I did finally get an email message from a friend that said this:
I'd never (I believe and hope) ask another to bear the responsibility before God of relieving me of my misery and pain. Timing is in His hand and I believe He has a plan!
Public opinion has no affect on God's plan, love, mercy, and grace. I believe that mercy-murder is more than that; it is also the audacious estimating of the quality of my will, wisdom and capability for mercy to be above God's.
Because God's standards are not subject to opinion polls, and since taking a life--as opposed to leaving the matter in the hands of the Master Timekeeper--even for mercy's sake has not been blessed by God, to my knowledge, I could never ask another to weigh his eternal standing against my very temporary misery/fear/etc.
Said another way, no one loves me more the God, and I certainly can't love another more than He loves him/her. So how can I assume that I have more mercy to give? How could I assume to be capable of coming up with a plan--out of my perspective, fears and dread--that is wiser, more loving and more merciful than the plan my Father and Christ has for me and/or some party that I ask to share the eternal responsibilities of my decisions and persuasions? No, I hope I could never be miserable enough to ask another to put so much on the line for me and that I could never do it while in a state of dementia or insanity.
Interesting "Frontline" story recently on the process of getting older (my interpretation). Over sixty percent of aging populations end up in nursing homes and almost 90% of those who go in, temporarily, stay. Watching it all was simply astounding, plus very sobering, which is the best word I can put on it. Also, talked about the "good" death.
It did get me to thinking, however; what I want to do is to make sure that somebody does me in when it is time. And, I am willing to let them decide. The difficulty is finding someone to do it. A buddy of mine in Alaska has said he would and I would for him but we haven't worked out the details. I think I'm going to look for a backup plan. Although this is said somewhat as tongue in cheek, the idea of lingering when I hardly know I'm in this world is totally unacceptable.
What is equally as interesting to me is that I wanted to discuss this with at least two groups of which I'm associated. In both, it was the "nobody is home look." Is it denial? What? I did finally get an email message from a friend that said this:
I'd never (I believe and hope) ask another to bear the responsibility before God of relieving me of my misery and pain. Timing is in His hand and I believe He has a plan!
Public opinion has no affect on God's plan, love, mercy, and grace. I believe that mercy-murder is more than that; it is also the audacious estimating of the quality of my will, wisdom and capability for mercy to be above God's.
Because God's standards are not subject to opinion polls, and since taking a life--as opposed to leaving the matter in the hands of the Master Timekeeper--even for mercy's sake has not been blessed by God, to my knowledge, I could never ask another to weigh his eternal standing against my very temporary misery/fear/etc.
Said another way, no one loves me more the God, and I certainly can't love another more than He loves him/her. So how can I assume that I have more mercy to give? How could I assume to be capable of coming up with a plan--out of my perspective, fears and dread--that is wiser, more loving and more merciful than the plan my Father and Christ has for me and/or some party that I ask to share the eternal responsibilities of my decisions and persuasions? No, I hope I could never be miserable enough to ask another to put so much on the line for me and that I could never do it while in a state of dementia or insanity.
MY RESPONSE
Thanks for your comments. Certainly well thought out and in general pretty much what most think, probably not articulated by most as well as yours. There is something amazing about people wanting to live and of course, subscribing the ending of life in any way to God, providence or whatever. I personally think it is a kind of lineal thinking that may have lots to do with our own personalities. Those of us who even embrace that "this world is not my home" spend inordinate amounts of money not to leave it. I am always flummoxed (a word I love).
My view is really a philosophical difference. Somehow the most merciless thing is to warehouse folks in nursing homes, many who don't know they are in this world and if they do, have an extremely poor quality of life. We treat our animals better than our loved ones often. The philosophical differences lie in the world of decisions. And, I at least believe, that the one whose life it is makes the decision.
Thanks for your comments. Certainly well thought out and in general pretty much what most think, probably not articulated by most as well as yours. There is something amazing about people wanting to live and of course, subscribing the ending of life in any way to God, providence or whatever. I personally think it is a kind of lineal thinking that may have lots to do with our own personalities. Those of us who even embrace that "this world is not my home" spend inordinate amounts of money not to leave it. I am always flummoxed (a word I love).
My view is really a philosophical difference. Somehow the most merciless thing is to warehouse folks in nursing homes, many who don't know they are in this world and if they do, have an extremely poor quality of life. We treat our animals better than our loved ones often. The philosophical differences lie in the world of decisions. And, I at least believe, that the one whose life it is makes the decision.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
The Haves and Have Nots
We all know this to be true. The rich get richer and the poor poorer. Bottom 90% of taxpayers made $28,355 or thereabouts last year. The top 1% of the American taxpayer made $940,441; the top 0.1% made $4,506,291.
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
The Schiavo Case
I've been following theTerri Schiavo case as I'm sure you guys have. What are your thoughts? I think I probably know. It's a neo con issue: don't confuse me with facts, my mind is made up. Just like Million Dollar Baby, the movie, is a left wing plot, the same as SpongeBob is gay. I don't want to put words in your mouth and would hope that the 10 chaps operate from reason as opposed to a party line. From my perspective, talk about screwing up a "two car funeral procession," the government can do it. Now, they've only muddled it. Why we can't let the poor woman died is beyond me: fifteen years she hasn't known she is in the world. Sad and somehow, to me it is so weird: doesn't the faith teach us that this world is not my home. The husband is not the issue, however; I admit that he appears to be a sleaze but we are talking 15 years. No, would never say anyone has to agree with me. I do think that overall, these are heavy duty issues that must be faced one of these days by most people, especially as health care becomes more and more cost prohibitive. Allowing folks to linger and linger with no hope who don't know they are in the world is cruel beyond all means to me. As someone has said, we treat our animals better than people. What this case has done, however, is focus attention on an issue which is too often ignored or denied and for that, I think it is good.
A friend of mine has contracted with me to do me in if I begin to lose it without any chance of return and if I have become a burden to my family. I am doing the same for him. And, I have told all my family. I think Korvokian had the right idea, he was just the wrong person. I like Oregon's law.
One of the reasons I thought Million Dollar Baby was such a profound movie was she died well.
A friend of mine has contracted with me to do me in if I begin to lose it without any chance of return and if I have become a burden to my family. I am doing the same for him. And, I have told all my family. I think Korvokian had the right idea, he was just the wrong person. I like Oregon's law.
One of the reasons I thought Million Dollar Baby was such a profound movie was she died well.
The Male Chauvanist Bible
Was reading in the Old Testament this morning: I think I told you I read that One a Day Bible, where you read all the way through every year. Always something different or I read something and think, "Wow, having seen this before." This morning David discovers that Saul is really trying to kill him and he goes to the Priest for food and the Priest says that he only has consecrated bread. David says that will be fine but then the Priest says, I can't give it to you if your men have been with women. David says, they have not: even though the battle may be unholy, their "things" are holy.
So, I guess a woman's "thing" is unholy if you are a literalist; I am often amazed at how the paternal themes run through the Bible: it is very hard to be a women and if you think about it, the theme especially with Paul, in the New Testament is the same; plus, wouldn't you love to hear a preacher preach a sermon on this topic. Funny.
Strange, that you and I are both with the Bible on our minds. I have been thinking about
the Bible quite a bit the last couple of days - don't have time to go into my thoughts now,
but will later. It is funny that men are "holy" regardless and women are the evil force in
the lives of men - at least, in the Bible. Just like with David and Bathsheba - she was the
evil one - leading David on - taking baths in the courtyard - and, David was just an innocent. Now, I'm on a tangent.
So, I guess a woman's "thing" is unholy if you are a literalist; I am often amazed at how the paternal themes run through the Bible: it is very hard to be a women and if you think about it, the theme especially with Paul, in the New Testament is the same; plus, wouldn't you love to hear a preacher preach a sermon on this topic. Funny.
Strange, that you and I are both with the Bible on our minds. I have been thinking about
the Bible quite a bit the last couple of days - don't have time to go into my thoughts now,
but will later. It is funny that men are "holy" regardless and women are the evil force in
the lives of men - at least, in the Bible. Just like with David and Bathsheba - she was the
evil one - leading David on - taking baths in the courtyard - and, David was just an innocent. Now, I'm on a tangent.
Sincere Beliefs On Both Sides
I've been following theTerri Schiavo case as I'm sure you guys have. What are your thoughts? I think I probably know. It's a neo con issue: don't confuse me with facts, my mind is made up. Just like Million Dollar Baby, the movie, is a left wing plot, the same as SongeBob is gay. I don't want to put words in your mouth and would hope that the 10 chaps operate from reason as opposed to a party line. From my perspective, talk about screwing up a "two car funeral procession," the government can do it. Now, they've only muddled it. Why we can't let the poor woman died is beyond me: fifteen years she hasn't known she is in the world. Sad and somehow, to me it is so weird: doesn't the faith teach us that this world is not my home.
No, I don’t believe that SpongeBob is gay… and I have not seen Million Dollar Baby so I can’t comment. BUT, As to Terri, yes, I can comment. Would love to meet you out by the beach and have a snack. Which leads me to what I think about starving someone to death.
Can’t believe that this is the biggest issue.
Had this “husband” been consistent and had he remained faithful until the decision was made, most of this nation would say that Terri is his wife and that he represents her wishes.
But he started off saying that she should live and be cared for and get therapy, etc.
Then he got the money to do so and his mind changed. Now he wants her dead.
I am not really sure about his motives.
The parents want her to live.
They believe that she is communicating through her smiles and other facial responses.
So who has the right to make the decision, a loyal mom and dad or a gutless guy who could have divorced Terri and gone on his merry way but for some reason(s) decided that he would just rather have children by another woman and stay married to Terri?
I vote that the parents should have the right.
I vote that the “husband” gave up the right to be husband and have the say-so.
NOW
If you insist that the starving her to death is the issue, then:
I vote with whatever she put down on paper and signed.
I don’t believe for a minute that she told her husband one thing and her parents another about her preferences.
She is not in a persistent vegetative state. But I would not want to be kept alive in the same situation. I believe heaven is better. However, I don’t want to turn to judges or doctors to make such decisions. They are not capable or qualified to speak for every person and every situation. I would decide in favor of life for Terri based on her parent’s desires. At times I have tried to help a family decide to pull the feeding tube. I remember a lady in Crestview FL nursing home who could not hear or respond. She appeared to be in a coma but still her family could not pull the tube. They could and would have taken away any heroic measures. But simple food and water they could not remove. I certainly would have decided to do so, but that was not something they would consider.
THE PARTY LINE OF THE RIGHT TO DIE PEOPLE
No, I don’t believe that SpongeBob is gay… and I have not seen Million Dollar Baby so I can’t comment. BUT, As to Terri, yes, I can comment. Would love to meet you out by the beach and have a snack. Which leads me to what I think about starving someone to death.
Can’t believe that this is the biggest issue.
Had this “husband” been consistent and had he remained faithful until the decision was made, most of this nation would say that Terri is his wife and that he represents her wishes.
But he started off saying that she should live and be cared for and get therapy, etc.
Then he got the money to do so and his mind changed. Now he wants her dead.
I am not really sure about his motives.
The parents want her to live.
They believe that she is communicating through her smiles and other facial responses.
So who has the right to make the decision, a loyal mom and dad or a gutless guy who could have divorced Terri and gone on his merry way but for some reason(s) decided that he would just rather have children by another woman and stay married to Terri?
I vote that the parents should have the right.
I vote that the “husband” gave up the right to be husband and have the say-so.
NOW
If you insist that the starving her to death is the issue, then:
I vote with whatever she put down on paper and signed.
I don’t believe for a minute that she told her husband one thing and her parents another about her preferences.
She is not in a persistent vegetative state. But I would not want to be kept alive in the same situation. I believe heaven is better. However, I don’t want to turn to judges or doctors to make such decisions. They are not capable or qualified to speak for every person and every situation. I would decide in favor of life for Terri based on her parent’s desires. At times I have tried to help a family decide to pull the feeding tube. I remember a lady in Crestview FL nursing home who could not hear or respond. She appeared to be in a coma but still her family could not pull the tube. They could and would have taken away any heroic measures. But simple food and water they could not remove. I certainly would have decided to do so, but that was not something they would consider.
A Little Counseling Philosophy
Thanks for the talk about the problem with my daughter. As you correctly surmised, I have some problems with confrontational conversations. A large part from how I grew up (more heads in the sand than I care to remember) but know I need to get past that--as you say, things just generally get worse, don't go away or get better on their own.
DRIVEN BY OUR PERSONALITIES
DRIVEN BY OUR PERSONALITIES
I basically think that for the most part, we are driven by our personality and you have great insight as I said, into how you are. You are an ESFJ on the Myers Briggs Type Indicator. I use to do lots of counseling and always felt that I was not good at it overall. In fact, I once started a counseling practice with a buddy of mine called Esthetic Therapy, Inc. He fired me after a couple of months and politely said, "this is not working." He said that counseling was suppose to make money and as I got clients, they would come in and talk for two or three sessions with me and I'd cut them loose and basically tell'em to be their own counselor. Well, in a business you can't do that: you want to keep the people coming back and back and back and taking their money. And, some need to keep coming back but after about three times, I would evaluate and give them my views.
SUPERVISED COUNSELING CAN BE MAJOR RIPOFF
SUPERVISED COUNSELING CAN BE MAJOR RIPOFF
Oh well...plus, another reason I didn't like counseling and this was really unfortunate because I'd spent lots of money getting certified and paying people to supervise me when most of the time I knew more than they did. (Supervised counseling is basilly a ripoff--a front told me recently that she was paying $125 and hour and getting nothing. After she has paid the guy a small fortune, he'll sign her certification that she has completed the necessary hours. I'm amazed that no one has taken this issue on.) My real feelings are that most folks have this enormous capacity to change. Unfortunately, most don't do it. For instance, I would tell folks, "insight is great but if you don't do anything with it, what good is it?" And, as a self diagnosed ADD Attention Deficit Disorder), too, too impatient with folks.
CHURCH RARELY LIVES UP TO ITS POTENTIAL
Sunday, March 20, 2005
Terminating a Pregnancy
On the Discovery Channel the other night, there was this amazing program on how a baby is formed--pretty graphic and educational and what all of us know but to see it at various stages--wow! Makes you think about the idea of abortion. My basic view has always been that when a child can live outside the body, then it is a person. The drag is that it is definitely forming from the very beginning. I think that I'm going to have to go "situation ethics" on the process. When someone asked me what I believe, I can't make a definitive statement for or against--"tell me the situation" and then I would tell you what I think. What I would fear in taking a stand is to be in the ballpark of the zealots. Life is very complicated.
Comment: the thing that has always angered me is that couples who just have sex - no thought to what might happen - then just have an abortion. Nothing clear cut here, but I do have very strong feelings in some areas.
Comment: Here's my view. I am a Nurse and believe this: soul assignment. When a child is born, God assigns that child a soul and then it is a real person. All else before then is just trappings.
Comment: the thing that has always angered me is that couples who just have sex - no thought to what might happen - then just have an abortion. Nothing clear cut here, but I do have very strong feelings in some areas.
Comment: Here's my view. I am a Nurse and believe this: soul assignment. When a child is born, God assigns that child a soul and then it is a real person. All else before then is just trappings.
Monday, March 07, 2005
Remind me of Martha
Thanks for the compliment, but definitely not more talented than Martha - the one ingredient she really has that I have none of is "ambition" - never pushed hard enough. Like you, I think she was made an exmple of - totally unfair - but she will come out smelling like a rose. There is something inside me that just can't quite like Martha - I certainly have noway of knowing, but I have a feeling she has walked over alot of people to get where she is, but, then, I'm being judgemental. Plus, I am so tired of the celebrity worship -even with Oprah - granted she certainly came from what (to anyone else) would have been a hopeless situation and look what she has become. People follow her and hang on everyword - a little scary.
Teenagers
Carolyn and I were talking recently about the morality changes and how they must be affecting young people. It's one thing at our age, but something else with impressionable youngsters. I think you and I have even discussed this. I'm appalled at the fact that young girls especially are engaged in oral sex.
Kids are not the problems often, it is the parents. What is it that brings teenage girls to be so brazen on oral sex with boys: it isn't the sex, it is the realization again that we haven't moved for far in terms of gender equality. Girls are giving up self esteem, being subserviant, failing to demand equal treatment. If these areas of self esteem were zeroed in on, then the sexual issues would take care of themselves, as I see it.
Kids are not the problems often, it is the parents. What is it that brings teenage girls to be so brazen on oral sex with boys: it isn't the sex, it is the realization again that we haven't moved for far in terms of gender equality. Girls are giving up self esteem, being subserviant, failing to demand equal treatment. If these areas of self esteem were zeroed in on, then the sexual issues would take care of themselves, as I see it.
Morally Asleep
The minister's sermon was talking about for most of society we are "morallyasleep" - guess he's right. He used as an example the fact that he upgraded his tv recently and was given HBO and some other channel three months for free. He said he wasn't blind to the many changes that have taken place, but he said to see and hear it in his own home was a different matter. He was talking about the crude language, nudity, sex, etc. - I guess he had the cable people to remove it.
There are some terrible things on TV but it is like lots of things: shouldn't we be disciplined enough to keep from watching them: and the pay channels that he is talking about, they are expensive and although he was looking at them as an enticement, still should we take away people's freedom to look if they pay. It is a slippery slope and one that we really have to be careful about: when you start being the morals police, where do you stop? I don't think most folks are morally asleep; life is often complicated and not black and white other than to the fundamentalists who say it is black and white based on their interpretation. The fundamentalists become the morals police. This is a very simplistic and easy way to live in a sense. Very tricky in so many ways.
There are some terrible things on TV but it is like lots of things: shouldn't we be disciplined enough to keep from watching them: and the pay channels that he is talking about, they are expensive and although he was looking at them as an enticement, still should we take away people's freedom to look if they pay. It is a slippery slope and one that we really have to be careful about: when you start being the morals police, where do you stop? I don't think most folks are morally asleep; life is often complicated and not black and white other than to the fundamentalists who say it is black and white based on their interpretation. The fundamentalists become the morals police. This is a very simplistic and easy way to live in a sense. Very tricky in so many ways.
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