I Am The Chaplain

2012-02-12T12:21:00.001-08:00

Lamar, this is a wonderfully sweet story. God bless you and God bless your nephew's family and God bless your nephew on his journey. To respond briefly to your comments and I hope the other ten chaps weigh in. Because I live in a very secular environment and hang out with a nefarious bunch of "route step ne'the wells" often, I find myself constantly defending the faith. Scenes like you are sharing would be totally foreign to most of these guys. In fact, we recently had a guy (Amdy) to die who claimed to be an atheist. And, Andy went peacefully. So, I'm not sure there's a real formula to dying. What I can assuredly say is that heaven in particular is a comfort to people regardless of their faith or lack thereof. Andy, my atheist buddy who recently died said to me once. "I know I'm an atheist but in a strange way, I think that I'll see Kathy (his wife who had died a few years earlier) one day. Comfort. God bless and thanks for sharing.

{{{{{{{Jerry}}}}}}

On Feb 11, 2012, at 3:59 PM, "Lamar Hunt" wrote:

My Nephew, Larry Kilgore died this afternoon at about 2:30 PM in Moffitt Cancer Center in Tampa, Florida. I was holding his hand when he died and we were gathered around his bed singing, “Peace, Peace, Wonderful Peace.” His was a “peaceful” death, as described by the nurses. He had been at the Center since September, had received a stem cell transplant, and had been declared in remission. However, one’s immunity system suffers severely through the process. He died of an acute infection (sepsis, I think) in his intestines. His four children are gathering today, one daughter arrived before he died and another as he was dying. The two sons were expected in Tampa International around 6 PM. Please pray for his family, especially his wife, Lynn and his mother, my sister, Betty, and his four children Christie, Marcie, Scott, and Ray.

As we gathered at his bedside, singing hymns, and telling him we loved him, I wondered how people who don’t have this precious faith assurance can stand to watch a loved one die. What a wonderful thing, this faith in Jesus. After he was pronounced dead we all sang, or tried to, “When We All Get to Heaven.” There was joy amidst the profound sadness of our losing him. Several of the nurses remarked how glad they were to see the family praying and singing (

Retirement

2012-01-19T06:51:00.000-08:00

Not arrogantly at all, Dave. I call it 10 chaps openness, which we all agreed to and still value. I am hesitant to put the subject of sex on the internet, but would love to have a forum with friends of similar callings and interests on the subject.

Don’t have a “man” yet (I assume you mean for president). Can’t go for President Obama because he seems to have no sense of financial accountability. Liked Michele, like Newt, believing he is the one best able to stand up in a good debate with Obama. Like Romney, but have this fear that Evangelicals won’t vote for him. I probably would vote for either of the Republicans, although I would have to hold my nose while doing so for Paul or Santorum, even though I like Santorum’s social values. Perry has probably lost it with the gaff he made in the debates, although he has a proven record as a governor of a large state for 11 years. I have my absentee ballot already but am waiting a bit more.

Don't. Want to come across as one who has it altogether and wouldn 't do somethings differently. I was attempting to relate my thinking process as a result of a couple books I read and with which I found myself in agreement. Actually if I had to do it over again I would probably have fully retired about 5yrs earlier. Because of my priority of being an involved grandfather. We have been blessed with 15,soon to be 16 grand children. I am increasingly convinced that grandparents have an opportunity to make a very significant positive impact on grandchildren.

As I look over my original commentsK I fear that I may have come across arrogantly.

Am listening to the debate. Who is your man so far?

Dave

Dave has done retirement better than me. My relationship with our oldest son is wonderful, with our daughter good, but in his second marriage we have seemed to be distanced from our youngest son. Consequently, we don’t get to see the grandkids.

Health wise, I had hip surgery in December, oral surgery too, and will schedule a second prostate surgery as soon as possible. The first procedure was great for a few years, but the prostate continued to grow and I have to do it again, or keep getting up 4-5 times a night. I had the “cool thermal” surgery (I think Charlie had it too). Flomax helps, but not enough, and I am getting tired of having to take so many pills. So, I look forward to the surgery, having the same thing done, and then, if that doesn’t work it is the TERP.

For ten years after retirement I was chaplain for the Branson Veterans Task Force, was comp-ed motel, enjoyed getting to know a lot of the stars, sold thousands of books. That got old after 10 years.

Then I had four great years as co-pastor of a community church (UCC), co-pastoring with another great retired Army Chaplain, Merle Dech. Then health issues forced me to retire.

I hate retirement. My primary care physician suggested pills for depression, but I am not depressed, just bored!

I enjoyed doing the CD book, Clay Jars and Christians, last year and am looking for ways to market it. Don’t know if there is another book in me.

I won first place in a Traditional Country song writing contest last year, with I’d Love to Love You, but I Like You too much. Won $100. I finished a Christmas song in December, Who Is This Little Boy, and am looking to get it demo-ed and marketed.

I continue to be nourished by good friends, and thank God for Ten Chaps.

Shirley’s health is probably a bit better than mine. She now does most of the driving. I am praying for a healthy 2012.

Blessings on you and Clyde, Marvin, in your health issues. I am happy for your good fortune, Dave, and compliment you and Bernie in your work with international chaplaincies.

My doctor asked me how I feel (he meant health wise) and I said okay, I suppose, but I have never been this old before and am not sure how a 79 year old person is supposed to feel. Bernie is older than me, hope he is enjoying good health.

Political? I seem to be more worried about the nation’s financial dept than most of you. We can’t just keep going into debt nationally, although it is great that those who need help are getting it. But, if the system collapses what then.

Why Are You In This Alone

2011-12-31T07:06:00.000-08:00

In "Scent of A Woman," Al Pachino is a lost soul: a blind retired Army Lieutenant Colonel. He devises a plan that we're not told: go to NY, see his brother, enjoy the fruits of luxury: Waldorf Astoria, fine dining, expensive call girl. My favorite movie, great story. In his scheme, he enlists an unwitting but sensitive Charlie, an elite prep school student on scholarship. Charlie has his own problems as he has witnessed an act of vandalism along with a rich kid who is protected by his rich father. Charlie stands alone. At one point, Col Slade says to Charlie, "why are you in this alone?"

At this point, Rose would be smiling and rolling her eyes at my long story to make a point. I see many people at the Infusion Center or at the Cancer Center that I want to ask, "Why are you alone?" Most I hope aren't but they appear to be: a young girl, an older man, an older woman. Alone, I surely am not going to be intrusive but maybe someone couldn't come, a personal choice or maybe, like the movie, someone will step up to the plate like Col Slade did in the end for Charlie.

Pain of Suffering

2011-12-31T07:04:00.001-08:00

A couple of weeks ago I was hanging out at the Infusion Center, UCSF. All the patient chairs seemed to be pretty full. Each little "alcove" has about five or 6 chairs where those receiving chemo can sit and be comfortable. I logged in many an hour with Rose in those little "spots"as she took the juices. Wandering around, I saw a youngster in one of the chairs. Always makes me so sad. With us older types, we've lived out our lives. For me, I am always philosophical about living and dying. As a Vietnam combat vet, everyday is a bonus. I discovered that the youngster's chances of much of a future is slim to none, at least in this life. My prayer for the very large family is that they can enjoy and appreciate the days he has. Not easy as the sadness sometimes overwhelmes and it is very hard to find the joy in the presence. I relate it, in a sense, to Vietnam. At about six plus months, you went on R and R (rest and relaxation). A week of laying around, doing nothing and the war a million miles away. No, not really. It was in your psyche and if you weren't careful, you couldn't enjoy the present because going back to war was always hanging over your head. God bless this youngster and his family that the present may be what they know. Amen!!!

2011-12-31T06:44:00.000-08:00

Don, I'm much more interested in why your friend decided not to go into ministry and why you think he made the right choice. My response to the question is not very different than your friend's response. It is pretty standard to an unanswerable question. Lamar and I had a wonderful seminary professor, Dr Boyce. His answer to such questions: God will always do the right thing. Killing all the babies? Bullshit. This would not be the right thing so let's not ascribe this to God. It is some ancient unenlightened prophet or somebody, ignorant who says, God told me. What God is this?

The flip side of the coin is I don't know and so am putting questions like this in the column of, "danged if I know."

{{{{{{{Jerry}}}}}}

On Dec 30, 2011, at 6:31 AM, David Peterson wrote:

Don

Am in Hawaii with family. Ha e some thoughts. If I have time later on will share them.

Happy New Year

Dave

Sent from my iPad

On Dec 28, 2011, at 4:08 PM, "Lamar Hunt" wrote:

Some good words for the young man, Don, and I can’t add much more.

As to the question of God “telling” Joshua, et al, to annihilate everyone, even the babies. That is something that troubles me, always has. The concept of total annihilation does violence to the concept a good God, good to/for whom? Babies too? I got some help from a VERY liberal friend who had done seminary, but gave up on ministry as a vocation, and rightfully so, in my opinion. His thought was that when God gave the land to Israel He just gave it to them. They responded in their mind sets and realized the promise according to the way things were done in that time. I don’t expect that this response will win any awards, but if one really wants to deal with the nature of God he/she must deal with Joshua.

I am not suggesting that this should be part of your response to the young man, much too far out for where he is now, but if he should ask, this is my thought on the subject.

I applaud your taking the time to deal carefully with this young man. He is truly blessed to have you responding to his questions.

Blessings. Lamar

From: dbreland@st-joseph.org [mailto:dbreland@st-joseph.org]
Sent: Wednesday, December 28, 2011 4:39 PM
Subject: FW: Military Service

10 Chaps:

A young man who is about to graduate from Texas A&M contacted me and said that he felt that God was leading him into the Marines. However, he has some concerns that he would be violating the Scriptural prohibition of taking human life. He was about to go into a meeting where he was going to be asked to make some preliminary decisions about receiving a commission. He asked me to give him a “quick and dirty” layout of some of the issues involved. So, off of the top of my head, I sent him the message below.

He is going to want to discuss this more in depth, and I would like to have your wisdom to share with him. Anything that you can add will be appreciated. And, if you are interested, I would be glad to pull together all of the comments that I receive and send the whole package back out to each of you.

Don

Chaplain Don C. Breland

Coordinator of Spiritual Care

ACPE Supervisor

St. Joseph Regional Health Center

Bryan, TX 77802

(979) 776-3988

FAX (979) 776-5939

dbreland@st-joseph.org

From: Don Breland
Sent: Monday, December 26, 2011 2:10 PM
To: 'Storm Reichard'
Subject: RE: Military Service

Storm:

I am really pleased that you want to struggle through your concern over obeying vs. disobeying Scripture around the issue of military combat. I encountered many young men over the years who had not settled this for themselves before coming into the military. Then, in basic training, they were trained to accurately hit human-shaped targets with their bullets. It was then that many realized that some day they may be put in the position to shoot at real humans. This caused a crisis of conscience within many of them.

Whether a person is a Christian or not, the prohibition against murder is part of our value system and our laws. There would hopefully, then, be an inbred reluctance in all of us to take a human life. But for the Christian, there is an additional concern about following God’s will and purposes for us. All of this adds up to a major issue for the Christian in the military.

For example, in one instance in Vietnam, the Cav troop that I was with was ambushed. I was on a personnel carrier that had three machine guns mounted on top. I was sitting next to the gunner of one of the machine guns. A VC soldier suddenly popped up and began to spray us with an automatic weapon. The gunner next to me instinctively swung his machine gun in the direction of the VC and began to fire. He immediately hit the VC, and the VC crumpled to the ground. My attention was then pulled toward some other action that was taking place. When I looked back at the gunner next to me, he seemed to be in a daze and was not firing. I thought that maybe he had been hit and questioned him. He didn’t answer immediately, but finally said, “I just killed a man.” Obviously, he had not prepared mind and soul for that moment.

Stories like this one cause many Christians to wonder if they should be part of the military. My strong answer to that question is, “Yes, if God calls you into the military, then that is where you need to be.” I base that response on the following factors:

First it is important to be clear about the nature of God. He is not a god of confusion. He does not prohibit something, and then turn around and instruct people to do the prohibited thing. This truth is important to take with us as we examine the subject of the taking human life as presented in Scripture.
The Scriptures do differentiate between murder (the Ten Commandments for example) and killing under certain circumstances. Those instances where murder is the focus tend to be in the relationships between individuals. Killing has to do more with corporate situations, done under the command or authority of others, including God. [We can go deeper into a Scriptural study on this if you like]. Note for example, all of the times that God directed Israel into battle, even into battle where He instructed the complete annihilation of the enemy. So, there must be differentiation in the mind of God about how and under what circumstances human life is taken.
In spite of the seeming conflicts in Scripture about taking life, God does call people to serve in the military. He would not put a complete ban on the taking of a human life, and yet call people into the military.
Next, the military can be part of the “sword” that God authorizes rulers to exercise in order to maintain peace and stability among their people. (Romans 13)
Finally (for this list at least) I believe that God calls persons into the military for at least the following reasons:
To live out the great Commandment as a life testimony in the presence of the whole military community
To pursue the great Commission, seeking to make disciples among military people
To influence the “conscience” and morality of the military community.

In my case, I am totally convinced that God called me into the military and very clearly had a purpose for my being there. I praise Him for His oversight of that process, and cannot imagine a ministry that I would have enjoyed more.

Any of this is open to discussion. Please let me know where I can help.

Don

Chaplain Don C. Breland

Coordinator of Spiritual Care

ACPE Supervisor

St. Joseph Regional Health Center

Bryan, TX 77802

(979) 776-3988

FAX (979) 776-5939

dbreland@st-joseph.org

From: Storm Reichard [mailto:stormkreichard@yahoo.com]
Sent: Thursday, December 22, 2011 4:32 PM
To: Don Breland
Subject: Re: Military Service

Mr. Breland:

I am planning to join the Marine Corps, and I'm worried about what the Bible says about killing. I've been told by several people that the Commandment in question is actually more accurately translated as "Thou shall not murder", meaning premeditated killing in cold blood, so I was wondering if this was just them trying to further their own philosophy using the Bible, or if that was actually the case.

I was also reading Matthew 5:39 and it states not to resist an evil person, so does that mean that killing is never justified, even when your life or someone else's life is in danger, or am I misunderstanding what Matthew was trying to say.

I still want to join the Marine Corps, but I'm afraid of disobeying Scripture and, therefore, God.

I really do appreciate you taking the time to read this, and I hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,

Storm

Dialoging via email is OK with me. If you could begin by laying out your concerns, then I will respond.

I understand that you are considering a stint in the military. I spent 27 years as an Army Chaplain, and found it to be a very rewarding and fulfilling experience. It certainly has its challenges, and the issue of taking another human being’s life in combat is certainly one of them. All of us who were reared in the Judeo-Christian value system have been taught to reverence human life, and to place ourselves in a situation where we may have to kill someone can create grave doubts.

So, if you will open the discussion, we will go from there.

MY FRIEND ROSE

2011-12-18T21:16:00.000-08:00

In "Scent of A Woman," Al Pachino is a lost soul: a blind retired Army Lieutenant Colonel. He devises a plan that we're not told: go to NY, see his brother, enjoy the fruits of luxury: Waldorf Astoria, fine dining, expensive call girl. My favorite movie, great story. In his scheme, he enlists an unwitting but sensitive Charlie, an elite prep school student on scholarship. Charlie has his own problems as he has witnessed an act of vandalism along with a rich kid who is protected by his rich father. Charlie stands alone. At one point, Col Slade says to Charlie, "why are you in this alone?"

At this point, Rose would be smiling and rolling her eyes at my long story to make a point. I see many people at the Infusion Center or at the Cancer Center that I want to ask, "Why are you alone?" Most I hope aren't but they appear to be: a young girl, an older man, an older woman. Alone. I surely am not going to be intrusive but maybe someone couldn't come, a personal choice or maybe, like the movie, someone will step up to the plate like Col Slade did in the end for Charlie.

CHAPLAINS IN COMBAT

2011-12-04T07:14:00.000-08:00

MINISTRY OF PRESENCE: It has been my experience that , more so than most other ministries, ministry to Armed Forces Personnel has the added dimension of EARNING THE RIGHT TO BE HEARD. The “troops” , for the most part, consciously or subconsciously, check the chaplain out before they entrust themselves to his/her spiritual/pastoral care. This is true in every unit to which I was assigned, however, it was much more pronounced in a combat unit. It was even more pronounced in the Cav. Squadron to which I was assigned because I replaced a chaplain who had been relieved. None-the-less , most of my colleagues agree that Combat Ministry does not become effective until the chaplain has “earned the right to be heard.” This is accomplished by going into combat with the unit, having a thorough knowledge of the mission, and being available to the troops at appropriate times. In summary, MINISTRY OF PRESENCE.
2) PROVIDING ON-SITE, HANDS ON MINISTRY AT APPROPRIATE TIMES: This is a learned concept. . When a chaplain is on a patrol with his troops, or riding along in an Armored Personnel Carrier (APC) very little formal or informal ministry takes place. However, because he/she was present ministry will be accomplished during the “down periods”. For example much of my ministry with the CAV. Squadron was accomplished after the unit "loggered –up" for the evening. This is when I went around the perimeter to talk with the troops, sometimes pray with them, and sometimes have short devotions/Bible reading. Quite often Troops appreciate the chaplain praying with them before they go on a move out. I know of one chaplain who, prior to the unit beginning the mission went to each vehicle and, in many cases, individuals, and prayed asking God’s protection, etc. In many cases he placed his hand upon their head and asked God’s blessing on the individual. Feedback was very positive.
3) MINISTRY TO THE WOUNDED AND DYING: It is rare that a wounded or dying troop does not desire a chaplain presence. Having said that, the ministry style of the chaplain is very important. No matter the degree of urgency, it is wise to be sensitive to the “troops” desires, and if possible, to be aware of his /her religious practices/beliefs. For example, it is appropriate to say: I would like to pray with you and for you if that is okay with you. Also, the non-wounded, in more cases than not, want the chaplain to minister to their wounded buddy. When they are aware that the chaplain is in the area, almost without exception, they will request the chaplain’s presence. OBSERVATION: it is very important for the unit chaplain to have a working knowledge of the basic doctrines of all major faith groups. For example, protestant chaplains need to understand the unique aspects of ministering to a dying or wounded Catholic, Jewish, Orthodox, or Muslim service member.
4) MEMORIAL SERVICES: It has been my observation that a unit is not completely ready to return to combat until the dead from the previous battle have been properly honored, remembered and memorialized. The process of unit emotional closure begins with the memorial service. Memorial Services, properly administered and accomplished are an extremely important morale factor in the life of a unit. OBSERVATION: Chaplains, in most cases, need additional training in this area. Quite often memorial services are confused with a funeral service.
5) HOSPITAL VISITATION: Pastoral care to the wounded is of utmost importance. The patient wants a visit from the unit chaplain. He/she is anxious to hear about the unit and also, normally looks upon the unit chaplain as his/her pastor. That is the person who, in the eyes of the patient, is credible. Also, unit members are anxious to hear about the status of their wounded buddy. It was my routine to be in the field with the unit from Sunday Evening through Saturday morning. I then went back to the base camp and made pastoral calls on the hospital patients, conducted worship service (s) for support/headquarters personnel and then returned to the combat “field” . Almost without exception the troops were anxious to hear about their wounded buddies and various other types of information which I gained as a result of being in the “rear area.”.
6) ASSISTING THE COMMANDER IN SETTING A HIGH MORALE CODE. I am of the opinion that the Viet-Nam War left a large number of “troops” with severe guilt and psychological problems. One of the primary reasons for this was because so many broke their morale code. (In a significant number of cases this was advocated by the unit leadership personnel.) This took place not only in their personnel behavior, but also, in the manner in which they treated the enemy. As a result of my Viet-Nam experience I became very much aware that a chaplain has a strong responsibility to assist the unit leadership in personnel in setting and establishing a morale code that brings out the best in the troop rather than the worst. When I served as the CENTCOM chaplain (Desert Shield/Storm) I regularly addressed this issue.
7) NON-TRADITIONAL DUTIES/MINISTRY OPPORTUNITIES FOR THE CHAPLAIN: There are a number of non-traditional ministries that have the potential of leading to meaningful traditional ministries and pastoral care opportunities. For example, during my tour with the CAV Squadron in V-N the Commander requested that I be responsible for planning troop recreational events between combat missions and/or during the R&R periods of time. Not only was this program a significant morale builder, it also had a positive impact on my relationships with the troops and ultimately, ministry. During Desert Storm the Command was not prepared for the tons and tons of Any Service Member mail that was mailed to the troops by people throughout the nation. I was asked by the J-1 to assist in solving the problem by having chaplains “carry the mail” when possible. Consequently, the chaplains delivered tons of mail, packages, etc. In my opinion, it provided great assistance to the command, increased morale, and enhanced the relationship between the unit and the chaplain….a humanitarian type of ministry that had the potential of enhancing traditional ministries.
8) TRADITIONAL COMBAT (worship and Liturgical) MINISTRIES: Although the style of ministry in a combat setting is much different than in a Garrison setting, it is still of great importance to conduct worship and liturgical (serving the sacrament, conducting baptisms) ministries. One of the lessons learned is to conduct worship services on a smaller scale. It is not unusual, in a combat environment, to conduct worship services for 2 to 5,6, or 7 people. Serving the sacrament/Lord’s Supper is very important to many individuals during combat since many of us believe the sacrament is for “believers” it was an appropriate time to communicate the Gospel of Grace to the “troops.”
9) EVANGELISM: The ministry of Evangelism is a bit controversial within the Chaplain Corps. However, for an evangelical chaplain who believes he/she is called to be an instrument in communicating the Gospel of Grace to service members and assist them in coming to faith in Jesus Christ, combat ministry provides numerous opportunities. It has been my observations that people often reject the conviction of the Holy Spirit until they are confronted with an experience that is beyond their personal control. Combat often causes the service member to come to terms with his/her own immortality. Consequently, ministry of presence and chaplain availability during combat operations often results in communications and discussions about eternal matters with the troops .

Colonel Dave Peterson

ROSE

2011-11-30T16:57:00.000-08:00

Today is the 3d anniversary of Rose's Memorial Service. A sad and happy day. Sad because the process of missing Rose had already begun. Happy in the fact that Rose was no longer suffering and that she was at peace in her long arduous 10 year struggle against an insidious disease. It was a wonderful memorial to Rose: several spoke mostly of Rose's courage which was enormous, a couple of her High School and neighborhood buds told about growing up, and then a few others, some from her longtime support group, extemporaneously shared their memories. We celebrated. It was a good day.

SUICIDE

2011-11-11T05:54:00.001-08:00

With a national epidemic of Americans taking their own lives, especially among soldiers and teenagers, this is a subject that needs visiting with some relatively degree of a different insight. Here's what I have to offer: I recently attended a Memorial Service--church packed. Overwhelming sadness at the loss of a vibrant teenager. I don't want to say typical Catholic service but mostly so. Lasted almost three hours that I would have cut down to 45 minutes. Songs, good music and a choir from the youngster's High School. The priest gave a sermonette where we basically learned how much the young victim and her family had been involved in the Parish. Then her Dad, long time gone from the family, I think, gave some comments. Then a family friend detailed lots of activity with the yoingster, barely sixteen. The last speaker told a moving story about how he had had an older sister who had died when he was very young. His family erased her memory. No pictures or anything anywhere to be found. And, as a sixty year old man with his parents gone, he decided that he wanted to get to know his sister. After much research, he found her grave in a sea of tombstones, unattended and uncared for. He righted that, of course. His point was that we need to keep memories alive and remember the total person's life and just not this ending. (With her taking her life)

There are those who think Catholics glorify the afterlife so teenagers think of it as a way out. I don't think so and believe my own theory is probably closer to being correct: a kid does a rash and crazy/stupid thing (momentarily goes crazy). I think more than anything else, it is personality.

Don't want to be giving psychology 101 but on the Myers Briggs Type Indicator, I would guess for the youngster, her personality type is ESFJ (lots of research on this) who are basically extraverts, sensing (hands on) feeling and judging--these are Jungian terms. Jung basically said that we are born with a particular personality and there really is nothing to do about it. It doesn't mean we can't change but it means that understanding personality enables us to effect change if need be.

From what I observed and happened at the service, I think she had this type of personality: servant, doing for others. ESFJs are hurt by indifference to their efforts, however and the perceived hurt is greater than for most. ESFJs pay way too much attention to what people think, especially about social skills. As the late Albert Ellis and whom I called my mentor use to say, "nothing is worse that living your life by "shoulds." You should do this. You shouldn't that.

I do think that what makes suicide so tragic is that if parents can get kids who might be prone to such desperation, past it, they will be OK. Unfortunately, if a kid attempts and is successful, there is no chaning their minds. It is a kind of temporary thing (being crazy) which becomes permanent. If a parent can recognize this great tendency to please, the need to be liked, pressures that are internalized, maybe they can be there. Unfortunately, the greatest parent, the one on top of everything, often simply can't prevent it.

In a service like the Memorial, I always asked myself, is this helpful? To me, not really but to others, maybe. Few tell the truth or relate their real feelings in such a tragedy, plus there is such a range of emotion. Part of it has to be anger which in my experience usually goes unexpressed.

God bless us all.

2011-11-11T05:53:00.001-08:00

Homeless Vets Fellowship. I was flipping through the channels one night this week and saw this extensive program on public TV about homeless vets. The actual place, Homes Vets Fellowship is am actual program in Utah. I've been a little skeptical and downright critical over the years about the plight of homeless vets but may be changing my mind. My view always before is that homeless vets have lots of issues and a roof over their heads may be down the food chain: drug problems, mental illness, relational issues are closer to it. My views have been reinforced with a volunteer stint I did once with the premier vets organization, I think, Swords to Plowshares. Most have simply wasted their lives. Want to reinforce that idea, spend a few hours at a VA hospital. At VA, the vets who seem to have the most trouble are the Vietnam vets.

Without reinforcing my views, I want to recount mostly my observation on this program. The interviews were really extensive with the vets themselves. The vets told about their lives since Vietnam and many could fit the criteria that my wife puts on it, "they were messed up before Vietnam and the war exasperated it." Maybe. And, these vets freely admitted it, if that is in fact, the case which I'm not so quick to say since I've watched the program. One commented on the fact that being with other vets made a difference. There's something about combat that creates bonding. Other vets "get it." They understand. Others talked about what happened when they came home, i.e., blamed for the war. No reentry. One vet related this fascinating story about literally killing a Viet Cong soldier the day before he left Vietnam. He was at his base camp when he saw a Viet Cong trying to slip under the consentina wire (jagged, needle like wire that is designed to seriously maim those trying to negotiate it) he emptied his M16 into him. The very next day he was sitting at his parents table. One vet gave this commentary: you take an 18 year old kid, send him to Vietnam to kill and expect him to come home as a normal human being. GIVE ME A BREAK. Vietnam vets, more than any other veteran population has remained skeptical of government services and VA in particular. One vet said something very typical, "it was 25 years before I went to VA and only because I was desperate.

After watching the program, here is where I am. Our government can never repay vets (especially combat vets) for what they've taken from them. Consequently, any benefit they get, they more than deserve. Thanks to all those throughout America who are attempting to help these lost vets.

2011-11-11T05:50:00.000-08:00

PENN STATE. I think they have overreacted. Get this. An accusation is made against a long time employee and friend. It is horrendous. You are shocked. You don't know what to do. You wait a day to tell your boss. What the f..k!! Anyone I know would have done the same thing. I am not a big fan of Joe, really. The f..ker should have retired years ago. And, crimes against kids have to be the worst. A predator should be strung up and have his testicles removed. That being said, the last time I looked, this is America where you are innocent until proven guilty. Even in PA!!! 

RURAL CHURCHES

2011-11-08T10:24:00.001-08:00

To be perfectly honest, I don't think they are as happy to have us as you might think. This is not criticism of them but they didn't quite seem all that happy we were there. (I was very generous with the offering and especially the Uganda project: DeLONE gave them a hundred
bucks I think). I tried to work the crowd and got very little response.

Sorry to hear that the congregation wasn't too friendly. That bothers me but not sure what I can do..However, I am going to mention that to the Session....think they should know.

No worry about congregation. We are a bunch of strangers and it is a perception thing. The question, Dave, is whether we even need to go to church or not. DeLONE wolf is the only one of that group that ever goes. I rarely go to church and it is for the reason we are discussing here. When I go, usually I feel worse when I come out than I did when I went in and it is precisely for the reason of yesterday. The preacher and the congregation are as good as a small church in a small community can be. They don't need some guy coming in like me critiquing the service which I can't help if I go, i. e., the preacher is prancing around like he is on TV, trying to be smart, he's overweight. The service is OK but the guy reading the Scripture wants to preach himself and the youngster is reading a difficult Old Testament passage which has to do with Abraham passing his wife off as his sister and King Abimelech marrying her and God getting ticked off. Please! Why would we have some kid to read that? The congregation Is good but we are a bunch of interlopers who just came to eat, plus maybe we should not be hunting on Sunday desecrating the sabbath. The preacher probably got on me because he sensed that I wasn't paying attention and was writing in my DayTimer or he might have remembered me from before. He gets credit for catching me although calling it to everybody's attention was not so "cool." but it is not like a thing that is important at all.

I have found that people in small rural communities often come off as
"unfriendly" to visitors/guests. In fact, visitors that come to the Church
where Sandy and I attend have told me several times that "this is an
unfriendly Church." I don't know all the reasons, but I have concluded that
there are a couple of reasons.

1) People that grow up in rural communities primarily associate with
family/extended family; people with whom they grew up such as neighbors,
church members (normally few in number) Consequently, they sit, talk, and
eat with the people that they have been sitting with, talking with, and
eating with for the last "hundred" yrs.

2) Because they have had limited exposure to "outsiders", meaning people
from outside the community, they have a lack of confidence in meeting and
visiting with "strangers."

3) Residents are comfortable talking about the weather; the shortage or
abundance of rain; the winters, etc..I notice that people in the Dakotas
talk about the weather like people in big cities talk about the
traffic...meaning that seems to be the primary subjects.

GIVING

2011-08-30T06:37:00.000-07:00

Interesting. I have always been a tither, most of the time to the church. It is one of those things that I was raised to do even when times were lean. My Dad was convinced that God would zap you if you didn't tithe and he was not even a regular church goer. The only thing he was more strict sbout was support of the Jews.

Now, that I'm somewhat slack on going to church, I mostly do what you are doing. I am fairly generous to Jackie's church as they promote a strong Palestinian ministry. I have about a half dozen causes that I give to and actually seek out special things. One of my best ones is this coffee house run by these two gay guys. I would go in weekly and invariably a class of developmentally disabled kids and adults would come in with their teacher. They would take up half the tables and never buy anything. I started giving John and Art what we would expect them to buy if they ever did. My thoughts were that this unusual generosity (letting these kids have a place for an hour or do a day) should not go unrewarded. I give to beggars, bums, homeless, various sorts of street people, i. e., musicians, etc. I always operate with the Augustinian principle, "since you cannot do good to all, you are to pay special attention to those who, by accidents of time, or place, or circumstance, are brought into closer connection to you."

Quick war story. When I was a civilian pastor, I was amazed at how little people gave. The Church never had money issues. They didn't owe any money and relatively speaking, they paid me almost next to nothing which was good as I said or did anything I wanted with the idea that they could fire me and I could care less. Lots of freedom in that attitude. But, we did have a kind of pledge week and one Sunday afternoon, I went into the office for something and the treasurer had left the pledge sheet out and I stupidly looked at it. I was appalled. We had at least six or eight bigtime millionaires (natural gas money) in the church. They pledged like a dollar a week. We had a couple of hundred families in the church. It was astounding. Jackie and I were by far the biggest givers to the church. In some ways, I wish I had known this earlier as I would have tried to help the church develop a philosophy of giving (which I think is important for all of us). Oh well. Thanks for giving me this chance to share.

TAXING THE RICH

2011-08-12T07:42:00.000-07:00

Let's face it, the Republican party is the party of the rich. Jerry.

Oops! Guess I am in the wrong party. Jerry, I bet you are the richest member of 10 chaps, and you don’t seem to have a clue about the significance of the financial mess we have drifted into over the years. In an earlier post you said something like, “not really interested, too complicated.” I am afraid that our debt crisis will have a devastating effect on our country, as ugly as the crash in 1929. So many places have closed down around here, and things seem to be getting worse. Gas prices are falling again, mainly because so many citizens can’t afford to drive their cars. I am worried about the direction of our country, and I don’t like the feeling.

I am beginning to think I am a liberal democrat. I want to make Social Security more healthy and would like to have a responsive health care system.

I don’t even make half of what you talk about and I think I am in great shape.   But I still think that giving away money to families from cradle to grave (unless they are really disabled) is counterproductive. So I guess I won’t be a good Democrat after all. And I am not a good Republican..

I must be a man without a party.   Am I anathema to the system? I do listen to public radio, cnn, family talk radio and like the Mike Huckabee program.

Guess I am just a died in the wool country hick.   Are we a dying breed? Glad to have you as an active friend. Gives me someone to talk with that won’t get Mad and run away.

Clyde

Clyde, I think that you have some good programs and are doing good work. I do think that most out there probably listen to a little too much Fox News. Anybody who makes $250,000 or over should pay more taxes. They would not be wealthy if they didn't live in this great country and had the opportunity to make this enormous wealth. Only makes sense that they should pay more.The rich shouldn't have these big tax cuts, as well as corporations making billions. Let's face it, the Republican party is the party of the rich. They protect them and are the best at spin as they convince smart, aware citizens like yourself that it is the fault of those awful democrats who want to protect things like social security and medicare. We could easily solve much of our unemployment now with government programs. We are the only country that can do it. The defit is a red herring in my view. {{{{{{{{Jerry}}}}}}}}

SAY WHAT

2011-08-12T07:40:00.000-07:00

DIALOGUE FROM THE TEN CHAPS***

Let's face it, the Republican party is the party of the rich. Jda

Oops! Guess I am in the wrong party. I bet you are the richest member of 10 chaps, and you don’t seem to have a clue about the significance of the financial mess we have drifted into over the years. In an earlier post you said something like, “not really interested, too complicated.” I am afraid that our debt crisis will have a devastating effect on our country, as ugly as the crash in 1929. So many places have closed down around here, and things seem to be getting worse. Gas prices are falling again, mainly because so many citizens can’t afford to drive their cars. I am worried about the direction of our country, and I don’t like the feeling. LH
I am beginning to think I am a liberal democrat. I want to make Social Security more healthy and would like to have a responsive health care system.

I don’t even make half of what you talk about and I think I am in great shape.   But I still think that giving away money to families from cradle to grave (unless they are really disabled) is counterproductive. So I guess I won’t be a good Democrat after all. And I am not a good Republican..

I must be a man without a party.   Am I anathema to the system? I do listen to public radio, cnn, family talk radio and like the Mike Huckabee program.

Guess I am just a died in the wool country hick.   Are we a dying breed? Glad to have you as an active friend. Gives me someone to talk with that won’t get Mad and run away. CN

I think that you have some good programs and are doing good work (Churches I'n his area). I do think that most out there probably listen to a little too much Fox News. Anybody who makes $250,000 or over should pay more taxes. They would not be wealthy if they didn't live in this great country and had the opportunity to make this enormous wealth. Only makes sense that they should pay more.The rich shouldn't have these big tax cuts, as well as corporations making billions. Let's face it, the Republican party is the party of the rich. They protect them and are the best at spin as they convince smart, aware citizens like yourself that it is the fault of those awful democrats who want to protect things like social security and medicare. We could easily solve much of our unemployment now with government programs. We are the only country that can do it. The deficit is a red herring in my view. jda

***The 10 chaps is an email group of retired military chaplains. Their dialogue is often very representative of what Americans think.

QUITTING THE WAR

2011-07-13T06:07:00.000-07:00

Last night on Sixty Minutes, there was a segment on "homeless" vets. It was hard to watch and I don't know how I feel about it all. I think here is how I see it. All combat vets experience difficulty coming home from war. It is what war is. You get it in your psyche and it never gets out. Does it make you become an addict. No, not really. Does it contribute usually to bad decisions which in turn put vets on the "street?" Does the country owe vets anything special. Simply, they do. It is part of the unspoken commitment of the country to vets. The episode last night proved that we're not doing enough. I talk to people all the time about checking in with the VA hospital. Get signed up for medical, even if you don't need it. It is a good backup sustem and they owe you and could never repay you for what your sacrifices have been.

I remerber the day like it was yesterday. B Company had just had this gosh awful firefight. It went on for what seemed like forever. In actuality, it only lasted a day. We had sustained about a dozen KIAs (kiiled in action) with about twice that many badly wounded.
I had just left the company when it started. Probably a company sized unit of NVA (North Vietnam Army). They were regulars, not guys in black pajamas.I took off to Phu Bai to the hospital to see my troops. They were really banged up. I was always pretty crushed after I saw them and knew that the grim reaper would probably claim a few more and if not, some would lose arms and legs and sight. War was a sorry business.And for me, by this time in my tour, I knew the war was bullshit. I had been reading stuff and simply had to do everything in my power to suppress my feelings to the Higher Ups. They were still doing what they do, bullshit to me but to the ones I was exposed to, I could deal with it. They were mostly just doing their jobs I guess. I was down to a double digit midget and figured I coud do this standing on my head.I was the chaplain, the poor man's psychiatrist and needed to focus on my own misssion of being the chaplain. I did the religious stuff. For men at war, ritual is important. And, I could accept the "Foxhole Religion" idea. They could sort it all out after the war.
I was bone tired and walked outside, not really outside but these mobile hospitals were set up in such a way, they snaked in all kinds of directions with kind of hubs which were like a bunch of intersecting hallways. Most of the rime, I got lost but this time for some reason, I found myself at the right spot. Across from the hospital was the Chaplain's office and my absolute best friend, Father Vince. I had first met him in Basic at the Chaplain's school in Brooklyn: good old Fort Hamilton. It was the Army's best kept secret. Right at the foot of the Verazano's Narrows Bridge, fabulous is all I know to describe it. To think that we were getting paid when I often felt like we should be paying someone to be in such a glorious spot.The chaplain's school's basic was suppose to teach us how to be soldiers. For most, they failed miserably. It was two or three months of a combination hell, play, study. We learned to wear the uniform, salute. I stood in front of the mirrow for hours practicing my salute. We went to the field and played war. It was at a camp in Virginia called Camp Picket. We made a joke: Camp Pickett, way down in the thicket. When we finished Basic, we were suppose to be ready to go to war.Father Vince was this "Eyetalian" and proud of it, Giamono, he would say and elongated it, Giamonooooo. We would laugh. He took me under his wing and vowed to show me anything and everything in New York. He would introduce me as a guy who hated yankees but was OK. I learned that in a big Italian family, to have a priest was a big honor. In Vince's family, besides him, a sister was a nun.
Standing in the little outside waiting room till Vince finished talking to some young troop, I made up my mind. I was quitting the war. How do you quit a war. Damn if I know. Maybe Vince had an idea. Regardless, I QUIT.

ATHEIST CHAPLAINS

2011-06-25T09:16:00.000-07:00

Good comments. Another thought, not wasting all the time defending. Look at what Kermit did, all that time and energy, not to mention money and the Rabbi that worked on it and was such an asshole--he and Cecil Curry followed their efforts with a book which was good as related to the constitutionality of the chaplaincy but unnessary I thought but Kermit honestly believes he saved the chaplaincy. Please!!! But, let us not forget how valuable we are and a commander who is on top of his situation will tell you that he'll give up almost anybody before his chaplain. We are, in fact, the poor man's shrink which to me, is chaplain talk for helping soldiers in all sorts of ways, to include being their advocate. When I was a civilian pastor, I would tell people all the time: the difference in civilian clergy and a military chaplain-- the civilian clergy will say, "Sorry about your situation, I will pray for you." The military chaplain will say, "I will pray for you. Tell me what I need to help you."

Where the chief and chiefs f..k up in my opinion is that they do like nothing in promoting our efforts. They get to be chief and somehow fall into hull defolade. If we had a chief (I don't even know who the chief is) who was on top of it, they would be aggressive and everytime we had a national ceremony or a national crisis, you would see the chaplain at the right hand of the prez or whomever or at least, visible. I'll never forget running into this store owner on Chestnut, right off the Presideo (familiar to Clyde and Lamar). He kept staring at me as I was in uniform. He said, finally, what is your job in the Army? I said, "I am a chaplain." I'll shorten this, he kept going over it, what I did, etc finally he said in the place, which must have been twenty people. "Wow, everybody, this man is a chaplain. How great. I didn't know our soldiers had chaplains." I never forgot it as this guy was so blown away by it all. All of us can come up with stories but for the general public at large, we're invisible I think.

A last thing. Tom, I don't have much confidence that the indorsing agencies will stand up much. I might be surprised but with Jim Ammerman on the other side...just kidding.

{{{{{{{Jerry}}}}}}

On Jun 25, 2011, at 6:38 AM, Ctclanton@aol.com wrote:

I give an amen to what Clyde and Lamar have already written. Totally disagree with needing an Atheist Chaplain! Boy can't you imagine trying to convince some Brigade Commander that their new chaplain will be an atheist! Especially if he was either a very strong Catholic or very conservative Protestant! You'de never get their approval! I'm sure you guys, like I did tried my best to take care of every person in the battalion who came to me with a problem. We helped them, no matter what their religious preference was. Since we don't have "Atheist services why would we need an Atheist Chaplain! Charlie

In a message dated 6/25/2011 6:27:35 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time, TCarter@gbhem.org writes:
Please check out the following:

http://blog.militaryatheists.org/2011/06/open-letter-chaplain-support-of-atheists/

I would be interested in your thoughts either way, whether you are willing to sign on, or if you have any reservations.

--

Jason Torpy
President, Military Association of Atheists & Freethinkers
(202)-656-MAAF (6223)
jtorpy@militaryatheists.org
http://www.militaryatheists.org

We have received a request to sign on to the efforts to add “chaplains” for atheists and freethinkers. What say ye?

Peace,

Chaplains on PTSD

2011-06-18T19:28:00.000-07:00

Marv., I can't remember telling you to get a life which I'm sure I did. I apologize. At one time or another, I have mostly insulted some or all of the 10 chaps. I've often questioned why I spend time with the 10 chaps, as most are way to conservative for me. The flip side of the coin is that it would be pretty dull if maybe all thought like me. I actually don't know how I arrived at this point. One advantage I have, if you want to call it an advantage is that for the last several years I've been hanging out with a bunch of guys who don't minse words, call you on everything. I have to constantly defend my views, Christianity, values, etc. And, it's the real world, they don't a bit more care who I am, etc.,i. e., the chaplain than a man in the moon--about the best thing that's happened to me since I retired. All that to say, Marv., from my perspective, you have to do what you have to do. This is just a bunch of chaplains "shootin" the breeze, giving opinions, and in general, filling time. For me, I've got eight blogs to keep up and so good material is always appreciated. My personal feeling is that in retirement, we don't have to do the things we did on active duty, i. e., often go along. If someone has thin skin or heavy duty ego, the 10 chaps is possibly not the place to be. We've lost a couple of guys who've join us but didn't like the sort of comments that followed. I think John Scott holds the record or maybe it was Bob Ennis, made it about a week. Here's an idea.

Tom, don't know how the newsletter from NCMaf or whatever they call it, got past me but I enjoyed it. Comprehensive and very impressive, even if they put the best spin on everything. And, the article about Jim Johnson was very interesting. I really have mixed emotion about the whole PTSD thing. I don't doubt that it is real and have helped lots of guys make claims from my old unit by writing support letters. I've never thought about filing a claim but think I could. For one thing, every combat chaplain can say the same thing that Jim did. And, to be perfectly honest, I have kind of always thought things like bad memories, nightmares, etc. were simply what going to war costs us. My prediction is that every troop coming back from Iraq and Afghanistan will be filing PTSD claims. They are media savvy and won't be messing around like Vietnam vets did. They understand social networking, issues like PTSD and how to file claims. And, from my perspective, more power to them. All this to say I was a little surprised at the article about Jim Johnson. I want to read his latest book.

AIDS ANNIVERSARY

2011-06-06T21:51:00.000-07:00

This is the thirtieth anniversary of the discovery or beginning of what was called at the time, "Gay Cancer." And, with a possible 40% of the population of San Francisco being gay, we could surely expect the CITY to remember this painful time with both a commemorization and great depth of sadness.

I arrived in San Francisco during the height of the epidemic. Deaths were, for a lack of a better term, almost common place. I was assigned to be the AIDS ward (about 25 beds) chaplain at Letterman Army Medical Center on the Presideo. Letterman at that time was a 250 bed teaching hospital and saw itself as a front runner in patient care for the soldier population, plus a huge retired military population. Letterman had been designated as the repository for HIV soldiers for the entire Pacific Rim.

The military with socially traumatic incidents like HIV positive did what they do best in such situations, they "deny." But, to the military's credit, they allowed docs or anybody to do as much or as little as they wanted. I remember distinctly a young physician (fellow) telling me, "here is a good chance to learn something about a disease that nobody knows anything about." (What we needed was a TV character like "House," totally unbelievable but the program always has exotic diseases as the docs called them. They are mysteries anHpuse, of course, solves them). But, the military treated the patients the best they could and discharged them. At that time, AIDS was almost a hundred percent associated with the gay community.

I had some pretty sad experiences during my involvement. Two stick out. A patient said to me, "Chaplain, we can't find a place to have a memorial for a friend, any chance we could use the chapel?" Without thinking, I said, "Sure." Later on I thought, 'damn, I'm going to get my ass in a sling for this.' Sure enough, somebody ratted me out and I received a memo from the XO (second in command) that the chapel was not to be used without ecpressed permission of the Commander. The Secretary brought the memo to me and said, something like, "who should I call to cancel out tonight's memorial." I had to think on my feet here. (I discovered down the road that she is the one who had perpetrated the drama) No, I'll take care of it."
I did nothing. At the services which were very moving, I will have to admit that I had somewhat of a strange feeling. I remember it like yesterday. Every single person I'n the service was male. Maybe 200 males, not a single female.

The other experience, among many, was equally sad. This one guy, a young sergeant and his pardner were the nicest two you could imagine. They exuded kindness. My earthy demeanor surely could have used some of their nature. They had been together a few years. I never pried and if something came out in the course of the experience, I filed it away. These guys were funny, well read, delightful in every way. One day on my rounds, I encountered the mother and father of one of them. I actually showed them to the room. Their son was very sick. The situation was very strained. Obviously the parents didn't approve of what they called they called, the "homosexual environment." I didn't do a good job of interacting with the parents and could probly psychobabble why. In what seemed lile no time, a their son died. They claimed his body, made arrangements for him to be shipped back to Minnesota and left. A couple of days later, the pardner came to see me. He relayed a story that made me profoundly sad. The parents were Lutheran, basically wete estranged from their son and did not accept the pardner. He was heartbroken. I felt so bad. Why the deceased did not leave some sort of will or detail arrangements, I don't know. Very, very sad.

2011-05-22T06:10:00.000-07:00

The rapture was supposed to occur at 6 PM- did I miss it? I am assuming it did not happen.

I think the Rapture has begun. About 10 minutes ago I saw a group of people at the bus stop and now they are all go

They must have been Southern Baptists. Victoria

Can you believe the "press" this got. Unfortunately the fallout is that "nonbelievers" lump us all in together as non-thinkers and overall hurts the cause of Christ I believe. But, for fundamentalists, you couldn't dent their absurdity with anything, least of all Scripture. Oh well, gave preachers lots of good sermon topics. Hope all is well.

TWO WARS by Nate Self

2011-05-20T07:38:00.000-07:00

Jerry,

After getting you email about going mostly to electronic books, I purchased a Kindle, the kind that seems to always be on-line, and tried it out by first downloading a sample of It Took Heroes. Then after evaluating the reading and sound quality, I downloaded for free the book Two Wars by Nate Self, the ranger lieutenant that led the effort to recover the Seal who fell from the back of a helicopter early during the war in Afghanstan. Self wrote a lot about chaplain support and his own faith, and then of his PTSD following the all-day fight above 10k feet and after he resigned his West Point-attained commission. Two Wars is well written and offers lots of insight to the wars of the 21st century, and of the pros and cons of training and fighting with people one knows well, as opposed to the individual replacement we knew in Vietnam. The telling of Self’s PTSD and faith struggles was very hard to read, and left me really sad for a while.

OUTRAGE

2011-05-04T06:29:00.000-07:00

Jerry, sorry for the rant and perhaps over the top comments I made in my last email to you. I find myself getting so feed up with the crooked politicains in all aspects of the goverenment and I work myself up into a furious rage. What has piled on top of me today is the fact we gave Pakistan 18.5 billion dollars and they knowingly hid Bin Ladin for at least 5 years and perhaps 6. We are going to give them 3 billion more in 2011 and 3billion more in 2012...it just isn't right........thanks......kc. How is your brother doing?....I am heading up to NJ to see my mom for Mothers Day, she will ne 92 in July. I really don't care for the Northeast, bad roads, to much traffic, to many people and they all seem to be concerned only about themselves...... it's all me-me-me, well thanks again...kc

KC, no sweat. I'm your chaplain. But, not over the top. I feel pretty much the same way. Yeah, we believe the Pakies weren't complicity in shielding Ben Laden. Like we believe Donald Trump isn't an egomaniac. For some weird reason, politics is so corrupting. What gets me more than anything is the fact tjat rarely does any politician answer a direct question? Spin is the order of the day.

Have a safe trip to see your Mom. I remember last year you went. A nice thing. I can't remember, do you have brothers and sisters? Leaving out in the morning for Reno for the 3d platoon, Delta Company, get together. Actually there's going to be a half dozen or less. You would probably remember some of these guys. One is Warren Chan, the only Asian that I remember in the Byattalion. He was Captain Holland's RTO. As I'm sure I've said before, not much into reunions but will have fun, driving up today and back tomorrow. God bless. Always good to hear. Be careful.

2011-05-01T19:35:00.001-07:00

I understand exactly what you're saying Jerry. It was unfortunately and to a disgustingly large extent, an on-going game of "You take care of me and I'll take care of you."

When the 1/501 BN CDR was awarded the SS at his Sep '69 change of command ceremony, I was at LZ Sally, as XO of A Co. I sent the requisite 10 man detachment to the ceremony under command of the Supply Sergeant.

The BN XO, a good guy, immediately came to the orderly room to find out why I wasn't in charge. I told him I knew--because I was there in the A Shau when the event supposedly occurred, that it was 100% bogus and that the fool had done nothing to deserve any medal, any time. The Major said "OK" and walked out.

I just want my guys, the ones who I know deserved this recognition, to step forward and I know you feel the same way.

Good to hear from you; take care and all the best.

Don

On Thu, Apr 28, 2011 at 1:19 PM, wrote:
Don, it is always good to hear from you. Thanks for thinking of me with the Silver Star project. I have some definite ideas about awards and want to share them out of my respect for you and appreciation.

And, most of it may pretty cavalier but don't mean it to be. I put in lots of guys for awards when I was in Vietnam. And, the way I got started doing it came about is a bit of a story in itself: once I was in the rear area at Sally. At that time, I'd been in Vietnam about three months, I saw the 2/501st in formation getting awards which seemed to be every other day. I wondered why our troops never got awards. The Adjutant said the commander had said we are not just giving out awards unless it is really spectacular, whatever that might be. Anyway, the moment he left, I had a stack of recommendations lined up for our guys to get awards and for my entire time, I kept it up. This war story is merely I guess to express how I feel about awards. Those that really deserved them often never got 'em and others who didn't were rewarded. This may sound a little like sour grapes but don't mean it to be. Myself and a couple of others were impacted with silver stars in the hospital at Phu Bai by General Barsoni who was the 101st Commander at that time. I was so green in a way, I didn't have a clue what it meant and didn't even know that it was anything until I left to go home and there was the award. All I had done, along with a couple of others, is pull some of our guys who were hit out of the line of fire when we were in this big firefight. I never felt like I deserved it. But, I wore it with pride as much of my active duty time was during those years when Vietnam wasn't something anybody talked about but I was always proud to have served. Since I've been retired, there have been several times I've helped guys get their awards. So, certainly not against the SS project but don't have much energy for it either as I'm appreciative of all soldiers who served in Vietnam and the ones who really deserve our recognition are those who paid the ultimate sacrifice. For most of us and you are one of them, everyday is a gift and one we were never promised. God bless. {{{{{{Jerry}}}}}}

AN ETERNAL QUESTION

2011-05-01T18:21:00.000-07:00

I would thank God that we were spared but realize that Thousands were not spared.
Seems a little like saying somehow God likes us a little better and I know that is not true.
Some things I have not gotten a handle on in my 50+ years as a minister.

CN, retired chaplain , in reacting to devastating tornadoes tjat devastated so many I'n his native state of Alabama.

AN APPROACH TO GIVING

2011-05-01T18:16:00.000-07:00

My idea and which I even do now is give out a fair amount of money, well for an average person anyway; but, my experience has been if you run across someone in need, $20 or $40 or fifty or a hundred dollars might not have much meaning to us but to someone on the edge, it is "found money" and makes a little difference. Here's an example of my thinking, my grandson and I were at this little park at Pier 39 last week. He is almost three running around--this little kid, maybe twelve, just jabbering away. I'm being a little cautious as crazies are everywhere and I don't want people to think I'm one of them; this is a stranger kid but I talk to her while watching James Raz, my grandson. She tellse they are in San Francisco because she won a contest in the state on history something. Not totally sure of all the details. San Francisco was the prize. I think they were from San Diego. "What was your history project?", I asked her. Her grandfather was a Marine on Iwo Jima and she collected old photos, letters, created this historical display. It won the contest. Needless to say I was impressed. The father came over. We chatted. I said to him, I am so proud of your daughter. Would you feel insulted or badly if I gave her a few dollars with which she can buy something special. He allowed how it was not nessary. "I know but I would like to do this as it is the only thing I can do to show my appreciation." I gave her my fifty dollar bill that I always keep for emegencies. In my thinking, this 50 bucks was nothing or little to me but to them, it was fifty dollars they would not have had. Did I feel good? Sure. (You could psychobabble that to death.) Was it my need to do it more than their need to have it? Sure. I'm just thankful I can. Other than my tithe, I rarely give other than to individuals. Well, that's not totally true now that I'm thinking about it. But, it is a lot. I sound like I'm Warren Buffett or something. I'm not but have ended up at this stage of life with more disposalable income than I deserve.

TWO REALLY BRAVE TROOPERS

2011-04-19T11:55:00.000-07:00

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HELLO CHAPLIN AUDRY
I GOT YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS FROM JIMMY STEPHENS AS I SERVED WITH HIS BROTHER DANNY AND WAS WITH HIM THE DAY HE DIED. I ATTENDED SEVERAL OF YOUR SERVICES WHILE I WAS WITH D CO 3RD PLT EVEN THOUGH I LOST MY FAITH IN GOD AT THE TIME. I'M NOW ALMOST 65 AND HAVE ACCEPTED GOD AND TRYING TO SERVE HIM FOR THE LAST NINE YEARS. I JUST MADE CONTACT WITH DANNY'S BROTHER AND IT HAS BEEN A HEALING FOR ME TO TALK TO HIM ABOUT DANNY. I JUST WANTED TO SAY THANK YOU FOR BEING THERE FOR THE TROOPS AND WELCOME HOME.
TAKE CARE AND BE WELL
DONALD J MENDOCHA

Don, so great hearing. And, I know that it meant lots to Jimmy to hear from you. Even though it has been so many years since Danny's death, the pain is still there and real. Jimmy has done so very much to keep Danny's memory alive.

Thank you for your testimony. War is a tough time and tests us all in so many ways. I am sure that God doesn't mind it when we are struggling. I'm still involved with lots of our guys; in fact, the first part of next month, Lieutenant Roach and a few of us are getting together in Reno.

Where are you? What has been going on with you all these years? I wrote a memoir about my experience in Vietnam, I want to send you a copy. Send me your address.

God bless and welcome home to you. Amazing how Vietnam is such a part of our existence probably that way with all combat soldiers, to include all those serving now. I just ordered an album off iTunes from Billy Bang. I read about him in Sunday's NY Times and how Vietnam so affected all of his life. He went on to become a concert violinist.

*****

HELLO CHAPLIN AUDREY
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ANSWERING MY E-MAIL. I JUST WANT TO FILL YOU IN ON MY LIFE SINCE VIETNAM. I WAS MARRIED JUST BEFORE I LEFT FOR THE ARMY. I WAS BROUGHT UP IN A CHRISTIAN FAMILY BUT LOST MY FAITH ONCE I WENT TO VIETNAM. I WAS A RESEARCHER FOR TIME MAGAZINE BEFORE AND WHEN I CAME BACK BUT LEFT THE JOB TO MOVE UP TO BIGGER AND BETTER THINGS, SO I THOUGHT. I WENT THROUGH THE NORMAL EXPERIENCE OF HEAVY DRINKING AND BEING ANGRY ALL THE TIME. I WENT INTO SALES AND MADE A GOOD LIFE FOR MYSELF(OR SO I THOUGHT). MY WIFE KEPT HER FAITH, KNOWING SOME DAY I WOULD TURN BACK TO GOD. YEARS LATER(1991) MY WIFE WAS DIAGNOSE WITH BREAST CANCER AND GIVEN ONLY 6 MONTHS TO LIVE. SHE MANAGED TO BEAT IT TWICE BUT FINALLY PAST AWAY FROM THE DISEASE 10 YEARS LATER BUT NOT BEFORE I CAME BACK TO GOD. WE BOTH HAD EVERYTHING BUT I WOULD OF GIVEN UP ALL FOR HER. AFTER HER DEATH I NEVER CRAWLED BACK INTO THE BOTTLE AND TRIED TO GO ON WITHOUT HER. I KNEW HER SINCE I WAS 5 YEARS OLD. YEARS PAST AND I MET MY NEW WIFE WHO HAD SIMILAR PAST LOSING HER HUSBAND TO CANCER. I TRIED TO BE AN EXAMPLE TO HER AND SHE ALSO GAVE HER LIFE TO GOD. I'M ALMOST 65 NOW AND SEMI RETIRED AND WE ARE PLANNING ON MOVING OFF LONG ISLAND NY AND GO TO STROUDSBURG PA. SHE HAS BEEN SUCH A HELP TO ME WITH FACING MY PAST. I ALWAYS THOUGHT OF DANNY STEPHENS AND JACKIE MONTGOMERY ANOTHER FRIEND THAT I LOST AND WONDER IF ANYONE WAS OUT THERE SEARCHING. I'VE BEEN ON MANY SITES LOOKING AND FOUND JIMMY STEPHENS NAME AND E-MAIL LAST WEEK AND WROTE TO HIM. WE SENT EACH OTHER SEVERAL E-MAILS AND THIS LAST SUNDAY JIMMY CALLED AND HAD A GOOD CONVERSATION. I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DID FOR THE TROOPS. I DON'T THINK YOU REMEMBER BUT AT ONE OF YOUR SERVICES YOU ASK ME IF I NEEDED ANYTHING AND I TOLD YOU A RADIO, AND THE NEXT TIME YOU WERE IN THE FIELD YOU BROUGHT ME THAT RADIO. I SENT JIMMY SOME INFO THIS MORNING AND ENCLOSED THE ARTICLE ABOUT YOU IN TIME MAGAZINE BACK IN 1970, DO YOU REMEMBER IT? THANK YOU AGAIN FOR BEING THERE.
TAKE CARE & BE WELL
DONALD J MENDOCHA

*****

Don, so glad to get your wonderful testimony. It brought tears to my eyes, especially about your first wife and her cancer. And, you surely stepped up the plate. My volunteer job is that I am very involved with the UCSF Cancer Center. I got into it when I began to drive Rose, who worked with my wife, for her chemo treatments. She was diagnosed at 30 and died just a month shy of her 41st birthday. For about two years, I would drive her and watched her die slowly and so when you were recounting your story, I was right there. I thought that I knew some really brave soldiers in the Nam, many just like yourself; but they didn't come anywhere close to Rose and your wife. In fact for over three years now, I have been trying to do a book about Rose's bravery. I actually, at her suggestion, kept a blog for the time I was with her; but, it has been the most difficult thing I've ever tried to do. My own grief keeps intruding. I have almost abandoned the project several times but am keeping at it.

God richly bless you. So glad to be back in contact, will put your book in the mail today. And, sounds like you have PTSD (think all of us do to a degree)--one of the things I've tried to do over the last several years is encourage those like yourself to file a claim, if you haven't. God bless. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Jerry}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}})) Thanks for sharing the story of the radio.

UNCONVENTIONAL PREACHERS' DIALOGUE

2011-04-19T07:58:00.000-07:00

As adjunct faculty for a couple of universities, I find a fair amount of students who really have no clue on how to write a good paper. I tell them I have a simple answer for them, that it is something they can use without electricity, and they will be thankful in the years to come that they listened to me. When they ask what it is, I tell them, “You must turn off your TV and all electronic devices and visit your nearest library, get a card, and use it regularly.”

I dropped out of school in the eleventh grade with straight “F’s” … then in the Army I had a chaplain take an interest in me and he got me reading. He told me that one of the key’s to being successful in life is learn how to communicate in writing. He said that my superiors may never meet me in person, but that when I write something, those same superiors will be reading it and making a judgment about who and what I am. All from that one paper (or memo) I wrote. You know what? He was right! The chaplain arranged for me to have the day off, gave me a list of classics that I should have read in junior high and high school, and sent me to the base library. When I started reading, I found a world that I never knew existed, and I have been hooked ever since. I may not know all the parts of speech as well as I should, but just by the reading that I have done all these years, I can quickly recognize a good sentence as to a poor one. I can now write a good paper (or Memo), and that has gotten me all the way through graduate school and landing me many, many promotions throughout my career. Reading good books, to me, is one of the most important tools for success!!!

*****

Dan, you didn't embellish, rather told a good story. Thanks. In some ways, the story reminds me of my seminary professor, Dr Boyce. He was 77 and the seminary was forcing his retirement. We organized and came up with a petition, with every student, all seventeen of us, signing. We then presented it to the trustees requesting he stay. I will never forget the day after the decision was made by the trustees that he could teach as long as he wanted. He was so touched by our gesture. The class was called Wisdom Literature, mainly the Old Testament. He could make it come alive because he turned it all into stories. Something like, Elisha walked with God. Dr. Boyce would say, "Here's the way it went. God and Elisha are walking along, "shootin the breeze" and God says to Elisha, 'Look, we are closer to my house than yours, come on over.' "

*****

Yes, it is a composite story of a few events which most is true in my mind.

Hey, I have been reading Rob Bell's book "Love Wins" and page after page rings so very true in what I have always felt to be God's view on man's redemption.

Universalism is a bad word in the Christian community and yet, I always thought it strange that God would create all these people and only get a 10-20 percent return on His investment - every page is wonderfully written with questions I always thought but knew, if asked, I'd find myself without a church. Great stuff!

*****

Will check this out. I'm going to start thinking you have channeled Dr Boyce. "Return on His investment" is exactly something he would say. Makes me smile. One of the things I've been thinking lots lately are ideas surrounding the "next life." Because of my great love of women, mostly, well not only mostly but entirely fantasy. And, of course, fantasy with no basis in reality. But, thinking of a "next life" thing. Maybe heaven or heavens where some of the fantasy might become reality. Now, I know the conventional answers but the same thing with universality, doesn't make sense to me that God's return would be so little. So, maybe the next life could be something less than conventionally. What think?

I hang out with a bunch of guys for breakfast two or three times a week who are unconventional to the max. They either have no or little faith, claim to be atheists, agnostics, lapsed Catholics, etc. They are constantly challenging my usually conventional ideas and quotes from the synoptic gospels. Impossible not to "think" as these guys and one female have enormous experience and education and consider themselves very enlightened: a Buddhist or two thrown in. And, an MD, who spent a year with some guru in India. See what I mean. One recent discussion had to do with conversion. I was trying to explain to them, from my perspective, in Christianity, what makes it different is that at some point, we experience conversion: going in one direction, accepting Christ and immediately making a change and heading in an opposite direction. Needless to say, that didn't fly with them. I tried to compare it to Islam. With Islam, you can merely declare you are a Muslim. And, you are a Muslim and start following the rules. Not so with Christianity, you experience a conversion and all are different; still small voice for some or Paul's Damascus road experience for others. They challenge everything, however, keeps me on my toes and this group is one of the best things that has happened to me since retirement.

*****

That is what makes you a "follower of Christ" in the true sense. Jesus would hang out with these guys too! And those guys would want Him there - just as they would miss you being absent from your group.

On Saturday, prior to graduation, we are having breakfast at our faculty meeting, and I am sitting with my good friend Cyndy, "the lesbian married to another woman." We are having a great time talking and laughing and carrying on. Someone later asked, "Is that your wife?"

I had to chuckle. They figured we were "together" because they could see we enjoyed one another's company.

This is the true Jesus story to me - being in the world - but having an internal mindset that allows us to engage folks where they are - not being threatened in our own faith - and they enjoy our "religious" perspective because they know we are NOT trying to always fix them - just love them!

I think you would REALLY enjoy Rob Bell's thoughts. It is a great book, Jerry. And I think you may be closer, as Jesus would say, "To the kingdom of Heaven" than those who do not have imaginations and feelings about how this life is much to do with the next.

I still believe Jesus is the only way, but His way will be realized by all - in this life, or the next.

The love chapter (1 Cor 13) says, "Love never ends" The fundamentalist says, "God only loves us in this life, and once you die, You're FUCKED!!!" (That is my way of saying it, not Rob Belly.

CHOICES

2011-03-31T10:54:00.000-07:00

Just got back from NC. My brother is seriously ill and so went back to spend a little time with him. He is pretty much wasting away, 180 down to 120 pounds. Chronic lung disease which causes internal bleeding They all want me to move back and direct traffic. And I might for awhile, have to think about it. Getting older has been no fun for him (maybe not for any of us). I surely wish that he would "hit the road." It is what he wants. He misses the drives to the beach, the big family meals he can no longer cook, his "turns" (as he calls them) around the golf course that he walked for hours. So, since he can't do those things among many, his view is "time to go." I surely get it.

His story is almost a novel. He had been divorced for years, dating regularly one or two friends, enjoying himself. Had made lots of money in various ways, mostly legal. Consequently, life is moving along. He meets this woman, very attractive and super aggressive: so much so that my older brother and I try to intervene. She out maneuvers us and snares our brother. They have a good time, travel lots. She has massive stroke, later on aneurism, becomes total invalid. The kicker: it is discovered that she lied about her age and is 10 years older than my brother. When you are 40 and your mate is fifty, not such a big deal but when you are 70 and your mate is 80, a big deal. My brother stepped up to the plate, however, and has been her primary caretaker for the last several years. He's had lots of help but still, has taken it's toll. Pretty sad.

My brother is an example of the aging process and the part we must play in it. When I was a chaplain at Letterman Army Medical Center when it was a "full blown" teaching hospital, a boss once said to me, "we must take an active role in our health care." By this, he meant every aspect of our lives. I agree and am constantly reading and trying to figure out lifestyle issues as I get older. I've just read two books that are terrific: The Longevity Project. Deals with this eight decade study about longevity. My nephew gave it to me. Really good book. I love this one aspect. Women who have regular orgasms live longer. I'm serious, based on this study. The second one, "Never Say Die," is one of the best books I've ever read. Based on how the popular culture has sold us a bill of goods about aging. The new forty is not the eighty. Aging is no "day at the beach." Growing older based on how long we live is a big time issue. I agree and have always believed that if we live to the age of 80 or ninety, get a disease quickly and die is a goal, healthy to then but can't reverse aging. BS to think we can. Book provoked long discussion between my wife and me who thinks I am preoccupied with issues of death. I don't think so, just realistic.

MARITAL COMMENTS

2011-01-13T08:45:00.000-08:00

When you are in a bad situation, several choices can be made. None easy or good. What makes the scene especially bad are kids and lack of way to support oneself really well. But, mostly has to do with personality. For some people with particular type natures, so hard to make a personal decision.
What might be the case is the "other party" may really be unhappy. Ideal thing would be for an admittance to the fact and agree to move out. Maybe if it was presented, might be waiting for a way out. If both are truly unhappy. I don't mean just getting one of your feelings hurt but can hardly stand to be in the same room, feel constantly rejected or angry or sad, then past time for action.
First question to asked: is there absolutely anything that I am doing that exacerbates the situation which I can stop. If honest and the answer is no, then what to do! Also, have you tried everything? For instance, is involvement in other areas hurting, even emotional or intimacy issues? If so, why not stop? Will it make a difference if emotional needs, even on small basis, were met somewhere else? Does it make difference? Is there anything for you to do? If you were to give up career and stay home, would this help? What about a permanent job with more regular money coming in? What about kids. Are they being hurt. Are they being involved and asked to take sides?
If you plan to confront which I doubt or have trouble expressing your thoughts or get confused or emotional, write out.
"Obviously, things are not going well with us. You seem to resent me and are angry 24/7 it seems and I don't understand. I try my best but nothing seems to please you. If you would tell me what you want, maybe that would help. But, we have to deal with these things as it is no way for either of us to live. Would you like to move out? We can't have it hurting the children. It is nor fair to them to be around us in our misery. "

A last thing and nothing new: nothing is a hundred percent. Relationships are really tough, especially where there are personality issues. If your mental health is not impaired, maybe it is a matter of sucking it up and setting up what you need too. Good luck and God bless you.

FINAL INSTRUCTIONS

2011-01-13T08:42:00.000-08:00

I got to thinking how I wanted it done. Cremated, ashes to several friends who might want them and then to spread at maybe three or four places: Ocean Beach, Presideo, my home town, then at the National Cemetery at Fort Leavenworth. All symbolic but nice thoughts.

About a month before Rose died, she asked several, including myself, if we wanted any of her ashes. Of course and when I ever get this book done, I'm going to spread them at Ocean Beach where we always were going to go. It was a ritual. When we were headed to treatment she would say, "today let's ride down to Ocean Beach." Then when the day was over, she'd say, "would you mind if we skipped the beach today."

AUTHORIZED TO CRITICIZE

2010-11-25T13:25:00.000-08:00

If we can't have a victory parade, we at least ought to be able to draw some definitive conclusions. And, it just doesn't seem that we are going to do so. We want to just move on, sadly.

Andrew Bacevich, who lost a son in Iraq and has authored a book, Washington Rules: America's Path To Permanent War

SAYING GOODBYE

2010-10-12T12:57:00.000-07:00

What about saying goodbye? When you are close to people and they die and you have not said goodbye, how does it affect you. I still call up the memories of those that I've cared about and think, "Wow, I didn't get a chance to say goodbye." The last time I was in Korea, I left in the middle of the night because it was so painful saying goodbye. A friend actually came to SF to tell me how cowardly that it was. Lesson learned. I blame some of it on the military: people are always leaving but now, for me, I really try to stay on top of it. When I know somebody is leaving, I go to extremes to say goodbye: Waitresses, cashiers almost anybody that I've come to see even on occasion. I don't know how you do it. Maybe the sheer numbers. Maybe it is a "degree" of sadness at someone's leaving. Like your au pair for instance: that has to be hard. I will send good thoughts and prayers.

One of my favorite coffee shops just closed. I said goodbye and felt bad but it wasn't devastating like dying. I've answered my own question.

HEARING CONFESSION

2010-09-04T11:53:00.001-07:00

Here's a good one. I know you guys are right on the edge of your seat. I'm up at UC yesterday to drive this patient who is still taking chemo so I am waiting at the Infusion Center. I start talking to this lady and she says, "I understand you are a Priest." Before I could say anything, she said, "Father Jerry, I have met a great priest here and am going to mass everyday." I am looking for an opening to tell her that I'm not a priest. She keeps talking. She is from San Diego but came here at the rec of her doctor as he thought this was best Treatment Center in the country. She made her Mom a special rosary out of pearls. She is going to make the Priest one but he believes all rosaries should be black. It is her birthday. She is sixty. Very attractive but emotionally has the look of all breast cancer victims: "a deer caught in the headlights."

I finally decide that I have to confess. I tell her that I am not a Priest but a Presbyterian and am sorry we went on for so long but she was telling good stories. We laughed. She wanted to know if she could still call me "Father Jerry." Of course. I launched into a war story: "in Vietnam, guys would come to me all the time and want me to hear their confession. I would say to them that I am not a Priest. It would be like they didn't hear me, made no difference. I can't tell you the numbers of times I heard confession.

GOD BLESS THE CHAPLAIN'S FAMILY

2010-09-04T11:39:00.000-07:00

Was so sorry to hear about the Chaplain in Afghanistan getting killed. His family is in CO Springs I heard. Such a mess in Afghanistan and I'm still not convinced that Iraq will go so well. On the News Hour last night, the Iraqis talked about their lack of electricity. And, listening to them talk, you got the idea that they wouldn't be unhappy if Saddam was back. I did learn something though: with Saddam, he made sure Baghdad had lights. The rest of the country could have darkness. Now, of course, the whole country is sharing which is about four hours a day. Can you imagine? SO MUCH FOR AMERICAN STYLE DEMOCRACY.

2010-06-27T09:19:00.000-07:00

The Case for Calling Them Nitwits

They blow each other up by mistake. They bungle even simple schemes. They get intimate with cows and donkeys. Our terrorist enemies trade on the perception that they’re well trained and religiously devout, but in fact, many are fools and perverts who are far less organized and sophisticated than we imagine. Can being more realistic about who our foes actually are help us stop the truly dangerous ones?
By Daniel Byman and Christine Fair

In the years after 9/11, the images we were shown of terrorists were largely the same: shadowy jihadists who, even when they were foiled, seemed always to have come terrifyingly close to pulling off a horrific attack. We’ve all become familiar by now with the stock footage of Talibs in black shalwar kameezes zipping across monkey bars or, more recently, perfecting kung fu kicks in some secret training camp. Even in the aftermath of the botched Times Square bombing earlier this spring, the perception persists that our enemies are savvy and sophisticated killers. They’re fanatical and highly organized—twin ideas that at once keep us fearful and help them attract new members.

But this view of the jihadist community is wildly off the mark. To be sure, some terrorists are steely and skilled—people like Mohamed Atta, the careful and well-trained head of the 9/11 hijackers. Their leaders and recruiters can be lethally subtle and manipulative, but the quiet truth is that many of the deluded foot soldiers are foolish and untrained, perhaps even untrainable. Acknowledging this fact could help us tailor our counterterrorism priorities—and publicizing it could help us erode the powerful images of strength and piety that terrorists rely on for recruiting and funding.

Nowhere is the gap between sinister stereotype and ridiculous reality more apparent than in Afghanistan, where it’s fair to say that the Taliban employ the world’s worst suicide bombers: one in two manages to kill only himself. And this success rate hasn’t improved at all in the five years they’ve been using suicide bombers, despite the experience of hundreds of attacks—or attempted attacks. In Afghanistan, as in many cultures, a manly embrace is a time-honored tradition for warriors before they go off to face death. Thus, many suicide bombers never even make it out of their training camp or safe house, as the pressure from these group hugs triggers the explosives in suicide vests. According to several sources at the United Nations, as many as six would-be suicide bombers died last July after one such embrace in Paktika.

Many Taliban operatives are just as clumsy when suicide is not part of the plan. In November 2009, several Talibs transporting an improvised explosive device were killed when it went off unexpectedly. The blast also took out the insurgents’ shadow governor in the province of Balkh.

When terrorists do execute an attack, or come close, they often have security failures to thank, rather than their own expertise. Consider Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab—the Nigerian “Jockstrap Jihadist” who boarded a Detroit-bound jet in Amsterdam with a suicidal plan in his head and some explosives in his underwear. Although the media colored the incident as a sophisticated al-Qaeda plot, Abdulmutallab showed no great skill or cunning, and simple safeguards should have kept him off the plane in the first place. He was, after all, traveling without luggage, on a one-way ticket that he purchased with cash. All of this while being on a U.S. government watch list.

Fortunately, Abdulmutallab, a college-educated engineer, failed to detonate his underpants. A few months later another college grad, Faisal Shahzad, is alleged to have crudely rigged an SUV to blow up in Times Square. That plan fizzled and he was quickly captured, despite the fact that he was reportedly trained in a terrorist boot camp in Pakistan. Indeed, though many of the terrorists who strike in the West are well educated, their plots fail because they lack operational know-how. On June 30, 2007, two men—one a medical doctor, the other studying for his Ph.D.—attempted a brazen attack on Glasgow Airport. Their education did them little good. Planning to crash their propane-and-petrol-laden Jeep Cherokee into an airport terminal, the men instead steered the SUV, with flames spurting out its windows, into a security barrier. The fiery crash destroyed only the Jeep, and both men were easily apprehended; the driver later died from his injuries. (The
day before, the same men had rigged two cars to blow up near a London nightclub. That plan was thwarted when one car was spotted by paramedics and the other, parked illegally, was removed by a tow truck. As a bonus for investigators, the would-be bombers’ cell phones, loaded with the phone numbers of possible accomplices, were salvaged from the cars.)

A similar streak of ineptitude has been on display in the United States, where many of those arrested on terrorism-related charges possess long criminal records and little sense of how to put a nefarious idea into action. A group of Miami men schemed (often while smoking marijuana) to attack targets in South Florida as well as the Sears Tower in Chicago, but they couldn’t get their hands on explosives and were uncovered when the FBI easily penetrated their ranks.

If our terrorist enemies have been successful at cultivating a false notion of expertise, they’ve done an equally convincing job of casting themselves as pious warriors of God. The Taliban and al-Qaeda rely on sympathizers who consider them devoted Muslims fighting immoral Western occupiers. But intelligence picked up by Predator drones and other battlefield cameras challenges that idea—sometimes rather graphically. One video, captured recently by the thermal-imagery technology housed in a sniper rifle, shows two Talibs in southern Afghanistan engaged in intimate relations with a donkey. Similar videos abound, including ground-surveillance footage that records a Talib fighter gratifying himself with a cow.

Pentagon officials and intelligence analysts concede privately that our foes also have a voracious appetite for pornography—hardly shocking behavior for young men, but hard to square with an image of piety. Many laptops seized from the Taliban and al-Qaeda are loaded with smut. U.S. intelligence analysts have devoted considerable time to poring over the terrorists’ favored Web sites, searching for hidden militant messages. “We have terabytes of this stuff,” said one Department of Defense al-Qaeda analyst, speaking on the condition of anonymity. “It isn’t possible that they are encrypting messages in all of this stuff. Some of these guys are just perverts.”

Tawdry though this predilection for porn may be, it is not necessarily trivial. There is, after all, potential propaganda value in this kind of jihadist behavior. Current U.S. public diplomacy centers on selling America to the Muslim world, but we should also work to undermine some of the myths built up around our enemies by highlighting their incompetence, their moral failings, and their embarrassing antics. Beyond changing how the Muslim world perceives terrorists, we can help ourselves make smarter counterterrorism choices by being more realistic about the profile and aptitude of would-be attackers. More and more, as we work to disrupt training efforts, the jihadists we face are likely to be poorly prepared, and while that won’t always ensure a bungled attack, it suggests that terrorists are likely to select targets that are undefended and easy to hit. The United States has spent billions on port security since 9/11, even though terrorists have
shown little interest in ports as targets and even less ability to actually strike them. In contrast, even small investments in training for police and airport-security personnel can make a big difference, as these are the people most likely to encounter—and have a chance to disrupt—an unskilled attacker.

The difference between a sophisticated killer like Mohamed Atta and so many of his hapless successors lies in training and inherent aptitude. Atta spent months learning his trade in Afghanistan and had the help of al-Qaeda’s senior leadership—a fact that underscores the importance of rooting out al-Qaeda havens in Pakistan. After all, fighting terrorism is a chore made simpler when we can keep the terrorists as inept as most of them naturally are.

This article available online at:

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2010/07/the-case-for-calling-them-nitwits/8130/

Immo, thanks always for thoughtful articles. It is something to think
about. These may be bungling terrorists but it is a little like
getting in an accident or getting mugged. Only takes one time. Or
here's a good one. There are three three thousand muggings or so a
week in NYC. When you consider there are 7 mil or so people in NYC,
not alot of muggings in the big picture. However, if you are one of
the three thousand, it is a hundred percent.

Having read for the second time, the book Nomad, which I'm pushing
(Hershi Ali, Somalian went to Holland, became a member of Parliament,
campaigns against Muslim treatment of women, eventually had to flee to
America because we could protect her-her friend Theo Van Gogh killed
by crazed Muslim because of a movie he made where Ali was the voice
over).

She attempts to say how we can address moderate Muslims, and, her case
is weak, as much as I like her, just can't be because the Koran says
kill us.

Here's what I think, not that any will pay attention.
Here's what I started out to say. Terrorists are going to continue to
grow like rabbits, even in America. What we have got to do is get the
moderate ones converted to Christianity. Now, before this is dismissed
out of hand, think about it:
Muslims are muslims for whatever reasons. But, they are not going to
give it up without a belief system to replace it. It is the only hope
we have in this country of taking moderate Islamists (moderate meaning
they have not killed us yet, jihadists, women, etc) and seeing them
convert out of Islam to Christianity.

Hershi Ali kept beating around this althought she is an atheist, she
surely didn't advocate this but her alternate to Islam is an American
type enlightenment. Oh yeah, that'll work.

I think I'm on to something here. Christianity is, in modern
times, the only peaceful religion we have. Don't give me that bullshit
about the crusades or Christian dogma. To be a Christian, you don't
have to accept all the dogma BS. This is the only requirment. You only
have to believe in a loving God who was so loving that he gave up his
son for mankind. And, it is all faith--you don't want to believe, fine
but the atheist bullshit is not going to work with Muslims. They have
got to have a replacement religion, plain and simple. Sure, there are
all kinds of Christian agendas. You have the right wing
fundamentalist, the Cathlics but the core of Christianity doesn't
involve this bullshit, i. e., the Pope parading around or "touchdown
Jesus". Even with the fundamentalist, they are peaceful: ignorant, etc
but peaceful. The occasional abortion nut maybe.

I don't give a shit what most people grasp. If they want to worship a
tree, fine with me and we know some people have a religion of "P" but
I'm telling you: for moderate Muslims who still think that they must
conform to the Koran, (and they all do) kill the infidels, this is our
hope: convert them. Without that, they are going to be jihadists,
constantly be an irritant and in some ways give tacit support to those
trying to kill us. OK, this is good stuff. Power in the blood, God
bless you and God bless "Merica." {{{{{{{LP}}}}}}}

FEEDBACK

2010-05-08T08:15:00.000-07:00

Talked to ***a few days ago, my RTO with Alpha Company.

He spoke highly of your book, Gun Toting Chaplain, which I didn't know existed.

I logged on to Amazon.com and ordered a copy. While on that site, I noticed that someone can start a discussion related to the author or book.

So I wrote about you on the Amazon site. Don't think too many people know that such a discussion group-possibility exists, meaning I doubt if there will be many readers, but I'd like to offer you this suggestion.

There's a book that's often required reading in many high schools; I can't stand the book or the author, Tim O'Brien's The Things They Carried. There's no doubt, the guy's a good writer, but I don't respect him or his book, except that it's "well written" in an affected way. O'Brien spent a lot of time including compliments from various REMF critics and has included no comments from real combat veterans. I haven't seen your book, yet; but I suggest that you give the men you served opportunities to make comments about you to be included in a reprinted version of your book(s). When I see a veteran author who only has REMF critics' blurbs about his book, with no real soldiers validating what's been written, I have doubts about the credibility of the author. If you look at what I wrote, I believe you might see that your fellow soldiers's statements about you would be the best recommendation for reading your book.

Greg., you are always thinking. Thanks for your thoughts. The thing about GTC, it reflected my memories and great love for soldiers like yourself. I hope you'll find it that way too.

I've just returned from a Vietvets gathering. It was a platoon gathering, 3d platoon of D Company. Bunch of great guys. We told war stories, watched this great Video that one of our guys put together. It must have taken hundreds of hours, really inspiring. Several of us stayed up almost all night talking. We're getting older, no doubt about it and yet to be honest, suddenly there we were back in the Nam, same ages, same sort of stuff. I am always amazed. As the chaplain, which I always am when I'm with this group, recognize some problems: a couple are recovering alcoholics and one definitely has a drinking problem. Tried to stay away from it but finally had to discuss with him. I do love all you guys.

And, what is absolutely astounding is the fact that health and death have depleted the ranks. What really surprised me too is the degree of agreement we had on the fact that out country had learned nothing from Vietnam. Pretty sad and discouraging. One ventured something we all knew: politicians or government types are far removed from where young soldiers are dying, then in Vietnam and now in Iraq/Afghanistan.

I've tried to call ** a couple of times. I think he's in the "shadows" and definitely needs to be brought out. The last time I talked with him, I thought he was pretty strung out. What can we do to help him?

God bless. Greg, you should write your own memoir. It is in you. Thanks for staying in touch. God bless.

TRACKING DOWN THE CHAPLAIN

2010-04-22T09:03:00.000-07:00

For years my husband, Frank Flavell (CSM, ret), has spoken of how much he admired you and your actions in Viet Nam. Frank passed away last month after a 2 ½ year battle with Myelodysplastic Syndrome, a blood disease, as a result of his 20+ years working on missiles, high intensity radars, and exposure to agent orange. He has battled VA for the same 2 ½ years trying to document service in VN and the DMZ in Korea, neither of which ever showed up in his orders. He was always TDY – the infamous 179-day invisible forays to undisclosed locations. VA has informed me that if we can find anyone who will verify that he served with Frank in either location, they’ll accept that as documentation.

Frank was the short, Irish, opinionated guy with a distinctive laugh that echoed through the halls of Ft. Knox during his final military assignment and as a civilian training developer. I’m also a retired training developer, accustomed to dealing the Army bureaucracy, and I’m determined to try to tie up the loose ends and get his VA compensation straightened out. He simply didn’t have the energy to fight that battle and wouldn’t let me help while he was alive.

Jan Marie called and said that Janet remembers that Frank was in Vietnam in
1969. She thinks he was sent that time from Korea to rescue or escort some
soldiers. As usual, with his MOS, she rarely really knew where he was or
what he was doing until long after the fact. She sends her greetings and
says she remembers you and Jackie with great fondness; she still has a Bible
you signed. Janet and I are on friendly terms; they were divorced years
before I met him. You can reach her at 270-351-6827.

Frank never pursued his disability claim because he was a successful GS12
and didn't need the money. Besides, it just wasn't worth the effort. It
wasn't until he was diagnosed with a disease that VA had positively linked
to agent orange that he began his claim. I'm fighting this battle for Frank.
But I'm also pursuing it because of all the thousands of other special
forces/top secret clearance folks who are in the same position of having
undocumented assignments. I've been a military wife since 1967 and spent 20
years managing the development of Armor doctrine and collective training.
I've worked closely with countless soldiers who had no official combat time
because they were sent to fight where we had no military presence or, like
Frank, went without a paper trail. Guess I'm still the NCO wife taking care
of the troops and their families.

Frank's laugh was his ID. And he got the last laugh at his Celebration of
Life service at our church. After friends told their favorite Frank stories,
we ended the service with everyone singing Frank's favorite song - We All
Live in a Yellow Submarine. For 2 solid weeks on vacation with our 3
granddaughters (ages 6,7,8) we'd sung that song every time we got in the
car. Special memories!

Like Frank, I've never been known for shrinking from a challenge. I've taken
on the Council of Colonels at our higher headquarters and gone a friendly
round or two with our CG. I was generally known at TRADOC headquarters as
the one whose mantra was "If the regulation doesn't make sense, don't do
it!" Then I proceeded to help rewrite the regs. Maybe the VA is the next
project the Lord has in store for me. We'll see...

If you can be of any help in verifying Frank’s service, I’d be grateful.

Bev., let me think and talk a little to my buddies. One of the names
you mentioned is Chief Smith, I think. He has departed this life for
the next but it puts Frank in our AO (area of operations) at about
that time. I think. I am going to put in the mail the memoir I wrote
about my experince in Nam. What makes it pretty unique I think is that
much of it is a composit of many of my buddies. When I talk of some,
they really are several. And, it might be a stretch but not to me, my
experience is Frank's experience and to familiarize yourself with it
might be helpful.Will do. As I think I've said, administratively, VA is often a disaster. Medically, at least here, they are good and mostly staffed by UCSF, which is the UC medschool.

I affirm you for doing this. It is surely a way to homor Frank. I
understand VA quite well. Administratively, they are often a mess.
And, I understand that. They are trying to do a lot and we can never
forget, they are s beauracracy. I am almost positive that I remember Frank when I ran into him in Bien Hoa in early 69. I had come to escort a chaplain out of the country for a less than honorable situation and remember telling Frank and a
couple of guys about what the chaplain had done. It was his laugh that
I remember. Do you have any dates, names or anything from Vietnam.

VIETVET FAMILY PROJECT
Presideo 29464
San Francisco, CA 94129
415 515 8369
Sanfranjerry@comcast.com

April 20, 2010
SUBJECT: CSM Frank Flavell

TO: Whomever It May Concern

My first encounter wit the CSM, then an E6 or E7, I’m not sure as this was in 68 or early 69. We didn’t wear rank or nametags as a rule in Vietnam. I was the Battalion Chaplain, 1/501st Airborne Infantry, 101st Airborne Division. We were at FSB (fire support base) Sandy, very isolated area, close to the South China Sea. Our infantry companies were operating in a five mile radius or so of the FSB. Because I was gone most of the time and out with the companies, my tent was often used for those who happened to have business with the Battalion. Once when I came in from the field, Frank was sleeping in my tent. I remember distinctly as he was friendly and gregarious. I was a little baffled that he was not assigned to our unit. He was one of many that I met where the Army had diverted them from some assignment and sent them to Vietnam. It was really not a good thing as often they were denied pay and other benefits. It was weird and I railed against it then as I saw it as unjust and a misuse of the “needs of the service” (the term used when the bureaucracy wants to screw over the soldier). The reason that I knew about it was that three soldiers had come to our unit with a bogus 179 days, just short of the time where they could draw combat pay and other benefit, i. e., needs of the service). All three were killed. And, it was more common throughout the military than I wanted to believe.
Sorry, I’m railing here. Anyway, Frank’s mission as I remember had to do with this Special Forces A team that was attached to our unit. Just before he arrived and possibly the reason of his assignment, the Viet Cong had captured three members of the 12 men team and killed them, mutilating their bodies and burying them. It was horrible. Frank, I think, spent his time with what was left of this Green Beret A Team. The last time I saw him at Sandy, he was boarding a helicopter with some Viet Cong prisoners and two other A team members. I remember it distinctly because I hitched a ride to one of the Companies on the helicopter. Guys came and went like Frank but I remember him for his sense of humor and his laugh. It was unbelievable. He added immeasurably to us while he was at FSB Sandy. It was a tough time for our unit as we had taken over a seventy percent casualty rate, killed and wounded, the highest ever of a unit in Vietnam.
A few months later, I saw Frank at Bien Hoa, the rear area for the 101st. It was a great reunion. He told me he was going to Germany, he thought. Imagine how super it was a few months later when I saw him at Emery Barracks in Germany. It was like old home week. He was a great soldier and I’m so glad I’ve been able to relive these memories. I am available to discuss anything further. God bless all of Frank’s family. I’m sure they miss him.

Jerry D. Autry
Chaplain (COL), USA. Ret

Also, how did you find me? I keep meaning to ask? This really is a kind of unbelievable coincidence, i.e., to locate the one guy but then again, the Germany/Janet connection. Anyway, quite amazing. God bless.

How did we ever survive without the internet? I’m an old Army researcher. I remembered Frank talking about you, Googled you and found your books (I knew immediately that “Gun-Totin’ Chaplain” was the right guy!), checked out Amazon.com, tracked you through white pages, checked out your church to see if there were any links, went back to Amazon and followed various links until I found your email address on one of the Airborne sites. I figured I’d give you a week to respond to email, then call the phone number I’d found on white pages (after I’d learned that your wife was Jackie and knew I had the right Autry).

I also got lots of practice tracking down classmates for my 50th HS reunion last year.

Fantastic! I can’t imagine that anyone would argue with your comments. I wouldn’t dream of making any changes. I’m going to email it to VA in the morning – after I call and get an address. With luck, they’ll take your Word.doc. I’ll cc you. Knowing VA’s propensity to make everything more complex, I suspect they’ll want a signature or official letterhead or some other “positive ID.” If so, I’ll provide a fax number and address.

I truly appreciate your taking the time to write this letter for me. How much of Frank I never knew! These are things Frank never mentioned, although we often talked of his military years. I learned 42 years ago not to ask questions of anyone with a TS clearance; my ex was on embassy duty when we met and occasionally got a phone call and disappeared without explanation. Sometimes a thoughtless comment from an associate or a TV show would trigger a revelation, but not often. And anything I heard, I never heard. Fortunately I was good at playing dumb!

I’ll follow up next Tues while I’m on post. I have an interview with the director of Training and Doctrine. They can’t fill slots due to the move to Ft Benning next year and have asked if any retirees would like to return to work until next Sept. NO TDY, no supervisory duties, no responsibility, just go to work and do the job. Sounds great! It’ll give me a reason to get up in the morning and I’ll be in my comfort zone with good friends doing work I know how to do. It’ll get me through this first year and give me time to think carefully about selling the big house and changing my life.

Thanks so much for sending your book. It’s much better reading than Armor doctrine and TTPs! As I read, I understood completely why Frank admired you so much. You share a lot of the same views. Many times I could hear him saying exactly the same thing in almost identical words. I just wish he’d let me track you down before he died. He would certainly have enjoyed reconnecting!

Frank often said this country isn’t at war in Iraq. Americans have no clue what it’s about, they sacrifice nothing, they feel no pain. Only the military family is at war, and they sacrifice all. He firmly believed that no one should be able to send our kids into combat unless they send their own as well. He told friends at the Armor School that he’d experienced the pain of war and that was a lesson he really didn’t want his sons to learn. He was very angry at the way the war has been run, especially the repeated combat tours with no recovery time in between. And he often asked civilians how they expected soldiers who were trained to fight and kill people, to be policemen and nation builders. How could they expect a soldier whose instinct was to kill before he was killed to think and ask questions and determine if someone was truly a threat? And then you expect them to come home and behave like perfect gentlemen?

Both of have long been advocates of universal service. It’s one of the few times we agreed with Charlie Rangel! He was very proud of the fact that 3 of his kids (who happen to be mine) did serve their country. Chris served 8 years in KYARNG and resigned his commission 3 months before Bush decided to go back into Iraq. Kimberly, a nurse practitioner who wrote the brain trauma chapter for several nursing texts, was recruited by DoD to be their TBI advisor at DVBIC (Defense and Veterans Brain Injury Center) at Walter Reed. The Lord definitely put her there at the right time. Chuck, our youngest, encountered his 16th explosion on his 3d tour; directed the firefight (he was PSG), got everyone out safely, and couldn’t stand up when he got back to base. He suffered TBI and a spinal cord concussion. One of his troops called his wife, she called Kim, Kim called her folks at Balade and Landstuhl and we knew immediately that his injuries were not life threatening. He was medvac’d home and is now a medically retired MSG. He’s still has balance, vision and hearing problems but he’s finishing up his last year of college and hoping to teach. Frank tried to convince him not to retire, reminding him that vets are important right now and will be cared for – until people get tired of the war and realize they’ll be paying for care of thousands of injured troops forever. He usede ethe same phrase you did: “Nothing’s too good for the soldier, and that’s exactly what they’ll get. Nothing.” He also pushed him to turn in paperwork for his purple heart, telling him to “do as I say, not as I did (and paid for it later in life).” Both did write-ups for their troops, but not for themselves Chuck finally got his purple heart 18 months after the event, after his congressman intervened and forced the division to act. And why did they serve? As you and Frank both said, not patriotism. Chris wanted college money before Frank and I married; I dragged Chuck to the KYARNG recruiter because he didn’t like Mom’s rules and 2 years later when he found himself about to be a father with no job skills, he went active. Kim’s motivation was simple – brain trauma was her passion and she wanted to help guys like her brother, who had TBI after his first tour and kept going back to take care of his guys. Kim’s back from DC now but still works part-time for DVBIC and is trying to set up a TBI clinic at U of Louisville Hospital for Ft. Knox soldiers now that we have a real BCT again. And Chuck was asked to apply for an internship as a veterans advocate working for his CO Springs congressman. He’s learning to fight the system – he’s been out of the Army for 8 months and still has no VA disability rating.

Our minister always said that Frank was his intellectual challenge, the one who made him think about what he believed and exactly why. Nobody else would say anything to him that might be controversial; Frank loved a lively discussion. For the last few months, right up to the day before he died, they had weekly phone calls to keep up their debates. He’d have loved to do the same with you!

Now, once having established your claim, then what does that do. You
surely deserve it. Airborne.I have absolutely nothing from that period. I'm his second wife (for 21 years). Frank was married to Janet at that time; his daughter, Jan Marie, said yesterday that she remembers you from Germany but she was almost sure
that you and her dad had known each other before. Frank had told me that he
never had orders to Nam; he was stationed at Bliss when the Army did a "hey,
you" and sent soldiers to fill vacant slots. He talked of riding through the
jungle in a duster with Sad Song Blue blaring from the radio. He rarely
talked about the war, although he did mention being the ranking survivor
when his platoon was ambushed and being dubbed captain so he could call in
fire support to get the 3 remaining soldiers to safety. He was probably a
PSG at the time. The only names I remember hearing are Tom Gallagher,
Skipper Adams, John House and Otto B. Smith. I know the last two are
deceased. I suspect most of them are from later years, not Nam.

LONG AGO FRIEND

2010-04-12T12:31:00.000-07:00

Jerry,

For years my husband, Frank Flavell (CSM, ret), has spoken of how much he admired you and your actions in Viet Nam. Frank passed away last month after a 2 ½ year battle with Myelodysplastic Syndrome, a blood disease, as a result of his 20+ years working on missiles, high intensity radars, and exposure to agent orange. He has battled VA for the same 2 ½ years trying to document service in VN and the DMZ in Korea, neither of which ever showed up in his orders. He was always TDY – the infamous 179-day invisible forays to undisclosed locations. VA has informed me that if we can find anyone who will verify that he served with Frank in either location, they’ll accept that as documentation.

Frank was the short, Irish, opinionated guy with a distinctive laugh that echoed through the halls of Ft. Knox during his final military assignment and as a civilian training developer. I’m also a retired training developer, accustomed to dealing the Army bureaucracy, and I’m determined to try to tie up the loose ends and get his VA compensation straightened out. He simply didn’t have the energy to fight that battle and wouldn’t let me help while he was alive.

If you can be of any help in verifying Frank’s service, I’d be grateful.

I am almost positive that I remember Frank when I ran into him in Bien
Hoa in early 69. I had come to escort a chaplain out of the country
for a less than honorable situation and remember telling Frank and a
couple of guys about what the chaplain had done. It was his laugh that
I remember. Do you have any dates, names or anything from Vietnam.

I have absolutely nothing from that period. I'm his second wife (for 21
years). Frank was married to Janet at that time; his daughter, Jan Marie,
said yesterday that she remembers you from Germany but she was almost sure
that you and her dad had known each other before. Frank had told me that he
never had orders to Nam; he was stationed at Bliss when the Army did a "hey,
you" and sent soldiers to fill vacant slots. He talked of riding through the
jungle in a duster with Sad Song Blue blaring from the radio. He rarely
talked about the war, although he did mention being the ranking survivor
when his platoon was ambushed and being dubbed captain so he could call in
fire support to get the 3 remaining soldiers to safety. He was probably a
PSG at the time. The only names I remember hearing are Tom Gallagher,
Skipper Adams, John House and Otto B. Smith. I know the last two are
deceased. I suspect most of them are from later years, not Nam.

The VA rep says he doesn't need details, just a brief statement with an
approximate date that places Frank in Nam. I think you'd qualify as a
"credible source!"

Frank's laugh was his ID. And he got the last laugh at his Celebration of
Life service at our church. After friends told their favorite Frank stories,
we ended the service with everyone singing Frank's favorite song - We All
Live in a Yellow Submarine. For 2 solid weeks on vacation with our 3
granddaughters (ages 6,7,8) we'd sung that song every time we got in the
car. Special memories!

Bev

Bev., let me think and talk a little to my buddies. One of the names you mentioned is Chief Smith, I think. He has departed this life for the next but it puts Frank in our AO (area of operations) at about that time. I think. I am going to put in the mail the memoir I wrote about my experince in Nam. What makes it pretty unique I think is that much of it is a composit of many of my buddies. When I talk of some, they really are several. And, it might be a stretch but not to me, my experience is Frank's experience and to familiarize yourself with it might be helpful.

I affirm you for doing this. It is surely a way to homor Frank. I understand VA quite well. Administratively, they are often a mess. And, I understand that. They are trying to do a lot and we cn never forget, they are s beauracracy.

Now, once having established your claim, then what does that do. You surely deserve it. Airborne.

HOSTILE TAKEOVER BY A BUNCH OF PHILISTINES

2010-04-02T15:37:00.001-07:00

Thought you might want to see this. Apparently the ARP Synod leaders fired some of the College/Seminary board members and replaced them with their own men. The original board went to court to reverse that. It is a mess, and painful to me to observe. You know how much I cherish my seminary connection. Lh

Yes, the events that led to the lawsuits have been stressful and very difficult for all of us. This has basically been an attempt at a hostile takeover. We are fighting to keep that from happening. All on campus are concerned about job security. If the takeover is successful, the feeling is that they will let go of most of us and only hire white ARP's and only educate white ARP's at the College and white ARP men at the seminary. If the takeover is not successful, we will be in a tight budget situation and some may have to go. So, the campus atmosphere is tense, to say the least. Not much "real" work is being done as all energies are focused on the events of the day. Please keep Erskine in your prayers. This place is a jewel in the rough and we'd like to keep it this way.

Randa

Randa, so sorry you and all the Erskine folks are having to go through this. I can hardly believe it and appreciate Lamar keeping me in the loop. Sounds like a bunch of Baptists.

I have always felt that Erskine was special. I am going to contribute to the legal fund for sure. If you can think of anything I could do, I will. Tell me what to do.

Here's an example of what can happen to Erskine. After I left Erskine, I went to Southeastern Baptist at Wake Forest, NC, for a year, thinking that I would kind of get my union card. Baptist is pretty much what I had known. After a year of CPE, (not sure we called it that in those days), I went into the Army as a Southern Baptist. A few years later, a group of fundamentalists engineered a takeover of the Southern Baptist Convention. (I'm sure you know this story) Consequently, Southeastern fell to the fundamentalists. They turned SE into a bigoted joke. The fundamentalists are a bunch of Philistines-my way or the hi-way-- and members of the Sanhedrin that Jesus called white sepulchers. The fundamentalists ruined Southeastern, made it into a shadow of its former self. They are the forerunners of the political process that has so infected our country. They are a bunch of "wingnuts" in my opinion and it is almost beyond my comprehension that Erskine would fall to the fundamentalists. Dr. Boyce and other saints from Erskine in heaven have to be figuratively speaking, turning over in their graves. Fight on. God bless you. {{{Jerry}}}}

PRE GRIEF

2010-03-27T12:13:00.000-07:00

DIALOGUE 1 Thank you again for visiting. Our friend is "Where she is." She is preparing herself to die in a sense. I think. The last several times we've talked she moves a step closer it appears. Today, she was talking about "hope" that the next round of chemo might give her a while longer. I don't exactly know why but she's not ready it appears. And, then of course, who knows! I think that as the cancer progresses, the body shuts down and when and how is way beyond me. Because I am working on Rose's book, using the blog I've kept all along, I seem to be more accepting and kind of pre dealing with my grief. The will to live, the fierce instinct for survival is far more than I could ever understand .

DIALOGUE 2 I sensed the same thing - planning for her death but fighting it tooth and nail - and can only say, "No one knows until they are there." I keep thinking I would simply ask for a morphine drip and let go, welcoming the trip Home...but so few terminally ill people I've known have felt like that. I guess that doesn't happen. That will to live, as you say -- so strong. And I think it's the same whether people have great faith or no faith...they simply don't want to let go of all that they know. Bless her -- she is grace personified and I had the hardest damn time letting go of her as she clung and sobbed when I was leaving. As my mother used to say when she talked about the afterlife: God, you have got some explaining to do about why you let things happen. (And, knowing my mother, God was pretty intimidated when they finally met in heaven!)

With all you have gone through, with Rose and Victoria and countless others, I think steeling yourself for the loss of this dear and wonderful friend of so many years. Pre-dealing is a good word for it. You know it's coming, you cannot stop it and you simply have to prepare for it. Es

SMALL TOWN CHURCHES

2010-03-24T12:13:00.000-07:00

This came from a former parisherner:

You would have loved to be at church on Sunday. It was "Glenn" (Glenn was this African American guy who regular hit me and the Church up for funds, mostly related to some scam) revisited! It's about 11:50, the pastor is wrapping up her "non" sermon (she admitted to being OBE last week so hadn't prepared a "true" sermon), and the door at the back of the church opens, and it was obvious someone had come in. I didn't turn around to look, but after saying hello, it was obvious she had been distracted. Finally, she invites the person to come in and sit down. A black gentleman, dressed in a 70s type suit, enters and sits in the front row on the side by the piano. Ella Ray finishes her comments, starts into the benediction and stops to ask the gentleman his name ... Pastor "somebody or other." I couldn't understand his name. He stands up, tears flowing down his cheek and says how wonderful this church is, how it's the third church God had lead him to this morning, and it was obvious we were colorblind. The story continues. I'd like to believe it was real, but I'm skeptical; however, it was well done. He's on his way to Tracy from Colorado to start a new job Monday morning at 6:00 a.m. The job ... his own "reality" show. His background? He's a four-time grammy award winner, having written "Oh Happy Day," in 1969, another hit for Earth, Wind, and Fire, and two for MC Hammer. He's a little down on his luck and needs $390 for a truck to move his furniture into the house in Tracy and get his wife and 11 kids out of the motel. His parents abandoned him as a child, and his grandmother raised him, requiring him to go to church every Sunday. He's supposedly 53 and a diabetic. (I learned that information downstairs.) Whether or not all this is true, and I doubt it, this guy is REALLY talented. The pastor asks him if he can sing, and he sits down at the piano, plays and sings, and he's GOOD!!! It was one of those, "You had to be there moments." I know he collected at least $60, $20 from Bobbie, and $40 from Sterling downstairs, and I'm not sure what he got upstairs. He said he'd be back because this was a good church and what's a little drive to worship God. So, we may have the reincarnation of Glenn! LOL sma

HAD TO MAKE MY RESPONSE AS IT REMINDED ME OF A GREAT STORY
I ran into a guy, (seems to be African American types more often; I think it has to do with they've figured out how to appeal to our collective guilt). Anyway, this guy started his spiel. Well dressed, stranded, etc. I stopped him midway and said, "I think you are scamming me but here's twenty, just in case there's some truth in it." He was happy and I hedged my bets in case there was truth in it. Reminds me of this priest I use to work with. He would tell these tall stories and one day the commander called him on it since he was late for a meeting. Something like he was late because he had stopped to help someone in an accident, had to pull bodies from a flaming car, etc. The cdr sends someone to check--Finally going to get this guy. You could read his mind. Guess what? Turns out to be true. The Priest had stopped to help some folks who had plunged down a hill, pulled the people from the car. So....WHO KNOWS? My philosophy? Don't take a chance.

THE NAM: Chaplains' Assistants--unsung heroes

2010-03-13T09:04:00.000-08:00

Returned from visit to my mom's in NJ and found your book in my mail, thank you very much. I turned immediately to the page you marked and found what you had written about me to be great, thanks again. One small note though, I was Presbyterian, not Catholic.*** I would like to give you a little history as to how I got to where you were in the Nam. I enlisted in May of '66 and requested Airborne - Viet Nam. All my training was 11B from basic, leadership training company, advanced infantry training and jump school. Along the way I specialized in indirect fire weapons - mortors - the 60, 81mm and the 4.2, this changed my mos to 11C. After I was assigned to the 101st at Fort Campbell, KY a Chaplain Bell had put in a request for a chaplains assistant for which I applied and interviewd for. There were lots of applicants but I was chosen. I worked for Chaplain Bell untill he was transfered out and Chaplain Brown was transfered in. We were deployed with the advanced party of Eagle Thrust on Nov 22 1967. All My 71M (MOS-military occupational specialty) training came OJT (On the job). I felt blessed because I achieved my original enlistment goal and was able to do a lot outside the scope of normal Infantry, such as working with Special Forces on humane missions in far off Montangard hamlets and villages, helping the Nuns and orphans with items and supplies people back in the World would send to us. But most of all, working with you ( which was a great experience) and Ch. Brown I was able to help my fellow soldiers in a great many ways that would have never happened if I wasn't part of your team. Thank you again...........Casey

***In the Nam, didn't worry about stuff like this--who was Catholic or whatever. I always think that when I hear these disputes and even awful violet happenings like Muslims attacking Christians or vice versa, these really are terms, they are labels and have nothing really to do with the true beliefs of the respective religions.

A NETHERLAND

2010-01-17T11:27:00.000-08:00

It is sad about Victoria, but that's the glass half empty view. On the glass half full side, she may be close to getting what has been her heart's desire for a long time, to be reunited with her mother, father, and brother. I know she has NO fear of dying, and that too is a blessing. SMA

Recently, Jackie, my wife, said to me. "Victoria sat up in bed and said a very curious thing: she is so happy, just excited." When I asked what she meant, she said she really didn't know. I allowed that possibly it had to do with her soon journey from this life into the next. As our good friend above has said, Victoria has talked for years about meeting her Mom and Dad and her beloved brother, Fred. In fact, when she moved to the Health Center at the Sequios, where she lives, she put their pictures in front of the TV and has refused to permit us to move them. Maybe she senses the move to be with her beloved family. Her body has not chosen to let go but her spirit has. There are so many things that I have wondered about death. Is there a kind of nether land, a between spot, not the Catholic purgotory but a kind of way station. Maybe Victoria is already there and it is a matter of time. God bless her.

THE NASTINEST OF THE RIGHT WING

2009-10-16T08:40:00.000-07:00

There's a side of me that honestly doesn't know how we have gotten to
this place in our society. Of course, all the talking heads can give
you various answers. It is a little like CA: largest state in the
union, very complex and contentious. Plenty of answers but few willing
to take the hard path.

A dose in perspective would help all those who seem to know all the answers, however. I was on the bus today and sat beside this lady who had one of these POW bracelets that we use to see. I commented on it and she said my son's commander sent it to me. My son was killed in Afghanistan last year. I was absolutely floored. Speechless was more like it. Immediately, I thought of what Dr.Boyce, my seminary professor told us once: sometimes there is a sympathy so great for people that you simply don't know what to say. Or, there is nothing to say. Talk about "getting it," today I did.

God bless you my brother.

Jerry

2009-10-13T08:22:00.000-07:00

Claude brings up some good points. and something I'm wondering if it is being addressed at the chaplain's school. It should be and with the idea of what role the media plays. Claude, for instance, had enough smarts to play it
cool and understand that the media would distort or put the chaplains in a bad light. Knowing Claude as we do, we know that he was just too smart to get trapped. Today, the media is much more sophistigated as well as the chaplains and soldiers. They have Internet, email, instant everything. Today's chaplains have a lot to navigate. Maybe, here's where the indorser has to come in. What think? God bless. Jerry

Jerry,

Set down clearly what you think the schools should teach about the media; I have UM contacts in all the schools and will pass on to them.

Peace,

Tom Carter
Director of Endorsement

Tom, thanks for giving me this say. Here's what I think off the top of my head.
1. Should invite some media types in: both print and Internet, etc. like Slate. What do they report, how do they go about it, etc. Relate some stories like we're talking about. Maybe a good hard hitting round table.
ARE THEY INTERESTED IN THE TRUTH OR A STORY?

2. Some way to educate commanders. Unfortunately, so many of these guys have the same problem we have, rarely can they speak the truth. I mean, politics aside, in both Iraq and Afghanistan, we are in a mess. Let anyone dispute it. I'm listening.

3. Let the chaplains discuss what they believe their role is; personality does play a part, i. e., an SJ will approach different than an NT for instance but all will face, "loyalty to Pentagon or to God."

4. Chaplains should have a proactive PAO person, probably at the Chief's office. Much like Dave had when he was at Fort Bragg. The Chaplains got more publicity than Britney Spears. This person could be on top of the scene when chaplains are involved, not to interfere but the idea of, what is the role confusion issue? Chaplains have to be free to express opinions and say what they believe. I have read so much stuff from WW 11 chaplains and did they ever have it easy. All they had to do was minister.

5. Has to be emphasized that we are not spokespersons for the military and we are ministers in uniform and more likely than not, soldiers still trust us.

Tom, if I can think of anything else, will fire it off to you. God bless. You're doing good work. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Jerry}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

THE BRAVEST OF THE BRAVE

2009-10-06T07:38:00.000-07:00

Today, I did what Jackie often says to me "you are now free to move about San Francisco." And, I did, went to the Blues Festival for a bit, like an ADD type might. As I was making my way back across the City, I saw hundreds of breast cancer survivors apparently finishing their three day participation in a walkathon. It was pretty inspiring, people were cheering and clapping all across town. They began by camping out all night on the Marina in little pink tents. Quite a sight. At UCSF (University of CA at San Francisco which is the medschool and all the health Sciences) UCSF is always listed as one of the top hospitals in the world when it comes to treating and fighting cancer. UCSF has these quilts made by survivors all over the hospital. I'll post a few. They are great.

MASH

2009-07-22T16:30:00.000-07:00

I was watching a rerun of M*A*S*H. I heard a quote by Frank Burns that I thought was so funny. Had to go out to Internet to find it. Thought I would pass along. Unless we all conform, unless we follow our leaders blindly, there is no possible way we can remain free.

This is funny. Mash use to be on my daily schduled activities. I've seen all the shows. Ujongbu which they are constantly referencing in the show is where I was for two years. 2077 Mash was about a mile away from Camp Red Cloud where I was. Our running group, The Camp Red Cloud Thinclads would run by where it use to be every morning. The only part of Mash that was actually filmed in Korea was the opening with the helicopter coming in with the mountains in the background. Thanks for sharing.

Email Exchanges on grief, family, war

2009-05-28T08:21:00.000-07:00

***I suppose this is a busy weekend for you. It is a difficult one for me as my
emotions seem to be divided up between honor and anger. I continue to
concentrate on my brother's memories so they do not fade as I grow older. I
know it is hard for the loved ones of those killed in Vietnam to figure out
a good reason for their death because of the way our government pulled out
of there when we could have been victorious, but I keep referring back to my
brother's letter where he wrote "we don't belong here...these boys should be
back home....but if it means it keeps my little brother from having to come
over here....then it is all worth it! As usual...he was always thinking of
others. I miss him dearly.
Ruth

Ruth, it is so great hearing from you. I think of you so very often.

One of the things I've learned about grief over the years is that
there is no timetable. I'm sure you miss your brother terribly and in
many ways, it is just like yesterday. Plus, there is no right way or wrong way to grieve. Whatever way you do it is the right way.

Today I had a wedding. In fact, I decided that it was the last one I'm
going to do. And, I will have to say that it was a good one to end on.
An African American couple who wrote their vows and he sang his to her.

My connection to the bride was through Rose, that I drove to her chemo appointments every week for almost two years. (I've kept a blog called, tuesdayswithrose.typepad.com) Rose died last Oct. Charlotte,
the bride, lived in the same apartment building and was so kind
to Rose and when she asked me to do her wedding, I couldn't refuse and
did it in honor of Rose. I still miss Rose terribly but feel her
spirit is here as I'm sure you do with Tim.

I was watching the Memorial Concert tonight and as usual, it was
wonderful. But, I couldn't help wondering about the young soldier who
had lost half his brain and was so severely impacted--they featured
him on the program. I just wondered if the soldier had been given his
choice, what would he want? To die on the battlefield or to be in the
state he is now, hardly knows he's in the world. His mother and sister
giving up their lives to care for him. Is that what he would want.
What do think?

Ruth, so great hearing from you, a wonderful Memorial Day gift. Thank
you. God bless.

Jerry

Jerry, I am sad to hear about the passing of your friend, it sounds like she had a
difficult battle towards the end. In the last 12 years I have visited my mom
in the nursing home I have come to one conclusion and that is I will never
let myself live to the point where I am in my own world that can not be
shared with others. That would be such a lonely place to be.

I don't understand the fact that we will put our pets out of pain and misery and yet
we let our love ones live on in a place no one but them understand or do
even they? They say life is suppose to be a journey and where can one go if
they are tied to a wheel chair, slumped over and seem to be caught in between
two worlds....it would seem like they were lingering and the loved ones are
to selfish to let them go and the nursing home is still making a buck on
them.

I am sure if these people would know before hand they would be caught
in limbo, they would ask for the same mercy we give our pets. I think Dr
Kevorkian had the right idea but just the wrong process. Everyone should be
able to make choices. People speak of suicide and how it is a sin, but I
don't think the God I know would view it as such, why would he want anyone
to suffer unnecessarily. Are we so selfish in wanting them to stay? We are
asking them to be in our world and under our conditions...yet we can not
share their world as we have no idea where that is.

It also angries me, the media does little to cover the wars and conflicts where loved ones are dying on a regular bases...it just seems as no one cares anymore. They give no reports of the number of soldiers who come back with PTSD, missing limbs, brain dead or many other traumas. It seems like Paris Hilton and Britney
Spears and their parties or rehabs of taken over the news, now how silly is
that or should I say...how stupid is that? Memorial Day is no longer what it
was set up for...it has just become the "first summer holiday" for three
days of boozing or boating, fishing...the first week-end back to work no one
talks about what the did to honor someone on Memorial Day but rather where
did they go out of town. I feel sorry for the young man you were talking
about, what a sacrifice he has made. But if he was able to tell his family
how he felt, I have no doubt he would ask them to let him go. I would not
want to see his family giving up their lives to tend to him. In early wars
they did not have the medical expertise that they do now. If someone had
half his brain blown away...he would have died.Bottom line....is it greed
from many sources that keep these people in limbo keep living?

My reborn again sister is still living outside of the world of reality. She
says she believes in the rapture. She told me on the day...if the pilot of
a jet was a Christian and the passengers were not....the pilot would be
taken by God and saved and the rest of the non-Christian people in the plane
would crash and die. She goes to a church that talks in tongues. She is up
set with her kids as she does not think they go to church enough. It is
almost like she loves them more if they attend church.
Ruth

Ruth, thanks for the family slitrep. Families can be something else to
say the least. My brother and I have just finished our family memoirs
of our growing up years on a tobacco farm in eastern North Carolina.
It has been about seven years in the making and my family is pretty
much opposite than yours.

Religious right wing types are somewhat of a phenomena: they proof
text the scriptures, meaning they take one little portion and zero in
on it and that is all they give credence too. As my seminary professor
use to say, "you can prove anything you want by the Bible but you
can't prove anything you want too by the whole Bible. "

In writing our family memoirs we were often badgered with religion of
the right wing type but what made a vast difference in our family is
that my Dad who in present day terms would be spiritual but not
religious. We laughed lots about it and my aunts who were so involved,
along with my Grandpa who was a Pentecostal preacher. My Dad would
often laugh at their antics and they laughed at themselves and that
made all the difference in the world. My brothers tell stories of my
aunts shouting and falling onto the floor. It was something like an
earthquake since my aunts topped the scales at close to 300 pounds. We
still laugh and talk about it.

God richly bless you.

*** To read more of Ruth's writings go to READ RUTH'S BOOK: FACES BEHIND THE NAMES

SUICIDE REVISITED

2009-03-11T09:56:00.000-07:00

Email to Chaplain working in the area of suicide prevention

Have you all been able to determine from research much about the increase in the suicide rate? I have been in several discussions which seem to focus on the trend increasing related to those who enlist, i.e. those from the lower categories seem to have fewer life skills to cope or seek help. In a conversation with a CH at the Fort Jackson hospital, there seems to be fewer in the psy ward with the summer enlistees who are mostly high school graduates than later in the year when the recruiters are enlisting whoever they can sign up. I know this may be only one of the factors added to repeated deployments, single parent families, etc. How does the Army rate compare to the Air Force and Navy? I’m interested in any general thoughts. TC

The following is from a chaplain that is working in the agency responsible for developing programs, etc. for suicide prevention. He is confirming some of the discussions I have been having, starting with chaplains in Italy and Germany, and then continued with you all and chaplains at Ft Jackson. tc

Thanks for the interest in this area. As you can imagine there is a whirwind of activity around this topic right now. The observation of high school vs. later year enlistees is in fact reliable, although some will try to explain it away through other factors. The Army rate is the highest among the services and a concerted effort of Army and DoD agencies is finally beginning to develop and rely upon statistical analysis and measurements to get a broader and at the same time more specific handle on this entire phenomena. Although the stress remains high for Families and Soldiers, many suicides are occuring with Soldiers who have never deployed. This begs the question of what additional factors - rather than the immediate focus of deployment - contribute to suicidal ideation, attempts and completions. Actually, as morbid as it sounds, it is a fascinating subject.

For instance, we have wrestled with the idea of the decline in the importance of the Church as an institution to condemn suicide as a means of ending ones own life and/or pain. Rather, culturally it seems we have quasi-adopted the stoic warrior mentality, thus being more accepting of suicide.

I just completed reading a book by Thomas Joiner entitled, "Why People Die by Suicide", (Harvard Univ Press). Some very current research and theory on this topic. Absolutely riveting discussion regarding burdensomeness and feeling valued/loved as indicators or warning signs of increased risk of death by suicide.

Sorry for going on, but a very compelling and interesting research area, in addition to developing methods to save lives.

I didn't quite understand from your chaplain, was he saying that young high sch enlistees with less a value system were more likely to take their own lives than an older more seasoned soldier. So, if soldiers are committing suicide apart from the stresses of deployments, etc., this means they are bringing this into the service with them . Consequently, we/rexruiters are not catching or seeing this before they get in or they are and are choosing to ignore.

I'm going to order the book he mentioned. In terms of discussion, I can't help but contrast the breast cancer survivors that I've been volunteering by driving them to treatment and their attitudes. They will do almost anything to survive; suffer any pain, indignity and yet here are these youngsters, lives ahead of them and they do themselves in.

I think that my theory might be just as good as any now that I'm thinking about it. However, although the military would not adopt it as they always want an answer or take the Marine philosophy, a two day class, problem solved. But, I believe that most who take their lives momentarily go crazy. They are walking across the GG Bridge and suddenly get the impulse to jump. Their lives are not where they want it to be. Money problems, wife or family difficulties, whatever, they lose it, they jump. And unfortunately, if they are successful in their attempt, there is no turning back. GusDavis Aughtry

=

SUICIDE AMONG THE TROOPS

2009-03-08T09:27:00.000-07:00

I have talked to a few of our chaplains concerning the suicide increase. In summary, most attribute it to the following….not necessarily in order

1) Post-war traumatic Stress

2) Break down in family relationships. (Divorce among military Married Couples is at an all time high

3) Too many “hardship” tours

4) Overwork/stress/lack of sleep dpp

Dave, this is good. Thanks. It is interesting to me whether the calibers of the Volunteer Army has anything to do with it. The stuff I read indicates that for those who are prone to suicide, the more emotionally sophisticated they are, the quicker they will seek help. Many who take their lives probably do so because of some or all of the reasons you mentioned, yet if they don't seek help, is it because they are less emotionally sophisticated, i. e., possibly come from lower socio economic classes ( which is the elephant in the room that we never talk about).

When we had a draft army, mixed in with the kids from all walks of life were doctors and lawyers and Indian chiefs sons. Now, they are not there, I don't think or are they? gda

I wouldn’t doubt that there is truth to what you say. The problem is…it is not measurable and very difficult to identify. I would suspect another factor is the lack of a faith commitment. The highest percentage of enlistees are non-churches…so say the chaplains. Having said that there are a significant number who are coming to faith in Christ, attending Bible Studies, etc. Also, the troops seem to be doing a fantastic job, highly motivated, etc. dpp

EMAIL EXCHANGE

2009-02-01T09:16:00.000-08:00

ARE THEY UP TO THE TASK. A very belated, but heartfelt Happy New Year to you. Do so hope 2009 will be better than the past year, and yes, I agree we have always been a resilient people who seem to always be able to survive adversity and claw our way back up. Somehow, I am a little unsure about this generation having the backbone to sacrifice what it takes for the good of all, but surely pray I am wrong. Are we as strong as the "Greatest Generation"? Guess we'll find out. Oh well, inauguration was great: a new beginning, and hope again is evident everywhere, so we will all support our new president and his administration with our prayers and best wishes and thoughts - they will surely need them.

Your Dad was right about those who mess with the Jews, they will ultimately get zapped! But like you, this latest conflict has been heart wrenching to watch. At least there seems to be a cease fire for now, but we all know that will not last. The Jews are so despised by the Arab world, and Israel does have every right to defend themselves, so even though the whole situation appears hopeless right now, there will come a day when your Dad's prophecy will be fulfilled, because it comes right out of God's Word! bbc

What a mess, on every hand. And, we have to hope the new President is doing the right thing, mainly that he is doing something which has to happen. We have to get people back to work. I am often in the fog. For instance, if a company says it is not doing well, what it looks to me, they just aren't making as much profit. So...they are paying their bills, breaking even, people are working. So, what is the big deal? I relate it to a doctor buddy of mine who was griping about the economy recently. He went to easily making from a half million down to $200,000; his idea was because of the government, HMOs, etc., private doctors could no longer make the big money. So...2 hundred thousand didn't sound so bad to me. See what I mean, I can't get it.

I have debated my Dad's philosophy a good bit. His greater one was "to always do what is right," and truly that is no small thing. Personally, I think it is one of those problems like immigration, insoluable. Simply, can't be done. The politicians and "talking heads" never talk in those terms but until Jesus comes again, have to do the best we can. Last Sunday night's Sixty Minutes carried a piece of the settlers living in the West Bank and how in a sense, they abused the Palestinians. Now, that is an example of my Dad's "doing what is right" is involved. Oh well...ja

IN MEMORIUM--Kay Yow

2009-01-27T12:40:00.000-08:00

My brother, Raz's, first coaching job was in Gibsonville, N. C. In fact, I remember it quite well. My brother is thirteen years older than me and I was in the 6th grade. I went to live with him and his wife, Ireni, for most of a school year. My Mom had gotten really sick and so it seemed to be the best option for me to be assured that I toe the mark and do what I needed to do. It was a good time, even if I did occasionally chafe under the discipline. And, from this aged perspective, what a wonderful charitable act theirs was.

And, while in Gibsonville, a youngster just a few years younger than me was already a budding athlete, Kay Yow. My Brother recognized early on, how super she was and in the parlance of today's speech, became her mentor. She died a couple of days ago. Kay, having gone on to achieve all kinds of honors in her sport, Olympic gold metal, successful coaching career; but, maybe her greatest success was in living for over twenty years with breast cancer. I think I read somewhere where she was in remission for half of her time. Good for her. Eventually, however, she had no choice, the insidious disease took her.

Below is an email, my sister-in-law forwarded with a wonderful link of Kay's testimony to her faith. I know my brother is very sad but without sounding too much like a know it all preacher, she truly is in a better place and the suffering is at an end.
jda

Hello, all --

Many of you know about the death of Kay Yow. When I was in college, I would go to FCA meetings with Amy in the hopes that Kay Yow would be there. When famous folks die, we usually don't know the status of their spiritual condition but I have no doubt -- from the many testimonies about her faith and my own personal take of what we knew of her -- that today she is cancer-free and in the presence of the Lord. I wanted to see if her personal testimony was published somewhere online -- especially as public as she was with her faith and I found it. I thought you guys might also be interested in reading it...it certainly was an encouragement to me. The YouTube clip on the side of the page is also an encouragement as she talks about success from a Biblical perspective if you have 5+ minutes to watch it. K and K Hilliard

http://www.beyondtheultimate.org/athletes/Kay-Yow.aspx

PRAYER

2009-01-24T09:14:00.000-08:00

There's a saying among preachers, "He who prays much in private, prays little in public, " I don't think Rick Warren and Reverend Lowery got that at the Inauguration. Reverend Lowery gets a "pass." He was there in the beginning with MLK. Based on the historic event of a new President who happens to be African American and the good Reverend's age, he is authorized to be and say what he wants. Personally, I kind of liked the ending of his prayer, the sing song way of it. There's a name for it, mostly originating in the South, "Whoop," a kind of cadence, a sort of poetry of preaching. MLK used it almost always and definitely in his, "I Have A Dream" speech.

Now, Rick Warren is another story. His prayer bordered on egomania. I was fearful that his prayer was going to be longer than the Inaugural address. It came close. To be honest, nobody would have expected a "quickee" prayer but come on, Warren was over the top. And, what is it with us Evangelicals (My Church is the Evangelical Presbyterian Church and my Presbytery is in Denver) that insist on praying In Jesus Name. It is like some mantra that we must do in public to proclaim our allegiance. For our churches, this may be OK but for a world stage, this simply reinforces often what many believe: that we are bigots and exclusive at worse and at best, egomaniacs. Well Warren confirmed it. I don't get it and never will. Next case.

2009-01-15T16:36:00.000-08:00

What are your thoughts on this, Chaps. I am in favor of ending “don’t ask, don’t tell.” My gay friends pay their taxes, serve the community, etc. Most of us are old enough to remember the predictions that integrating the military services would bring chaos. Didn’t happen. Just require the same discipline of gays as we do of heteros.

MY THOUGHTS

Lamar, I take a little different tack. For instance, if gays want to marry, no sweat. I voted NO on Prop 8 which really was a "yes" that they could marry. As a Bible thumper, there's simply not enough Biblical admonition against it and, of course, Lesbians get a pass. But, love is all over the New Testament and I can't imagine Jesus being less than accepting. But, then again, the very word, marriage, traditionally connotes a union between man and woman. This sounds like double talk and so have to say for me, in light of many thing, if they want to marry, fine with me. I liked the civil union idea. And, I admit some homophobia. I get a little tired, especially here, of pandering to the gays. And, constantly have to clean up my language in reverting to NC talk and saying "fruits" etc. I do have several gay friends. Well, acquaintances but my"girlfriends" as Jackie calls them and they are a typical bunch of old farts who deride gays and my language is generous compared to what they would say.

The military is another story. I like the "Don't ask, don't tell" policy. Mainly, it allows gays to serve without having to put up with the homophobia of the soldier. And, let's keep in mind, the military is designed to fight and win wars. It is not a social organization. And, openly having gays, especially in combat units, will create trouble and take away from the mission, I think. I know that other countries have successfully integrated gays but they are not combat oriented as we are, I don't believe anyway. I just think it takes away from the mission. But, I also think that since we have a Volunteer Army, there's a difference too. It could be part of the "contract. " When they sign up, they accept the idea that gays will be serving alongside them. Will it solve the problem? No, just as integrating the military has not done away with racism, doing away with "don't ask, don't tell" is not going to do away with gay bashing.

I think the new president will end, "don't ask, don't tell" but I think it is a mistake. So, there you have it.

Jerry

HEALING AND LIFE

2009-01-14T13:35:00.000-08:00

Chaps, we are having our 3rd service of anointing and laying on of hands for the sick this coming Sunday. The service has been remarkably well received.

RESPONSE

My real feelings are that the oil and laying on of hands is not going to hurt. If it comforts someone, super. If, however, you claim this literally does something, hmmmmm. Making God too much in our lives reduces Him/Her to arbitrary, i. e., who should be healed. Too much of a problem.

If I were back with a congregation now and thank the Lord, I'm not, I would be wanting them to deal with the Gaza conflict, the Biblical interpretation of all of this, i. e., did God really give the Jews this land? And, how literal can we deal with the Old Testament with the Christian idea that God will always do what is right.

Also, My experience as a pastor was that few Christians were willing to probe the greater truths but rather opted for very surface stuff. Maybe what you see you are doing is trying to move them to greater depths. More power to you. Power in the blood. God bless you in your ministry.

This is just feedback and opinion. You are out there in the "arena" fighting away and I affirm you for it.

It does something, Jerry! At our first such service I asked Merle to anoint and lay hands on me for the anger I have held against Alan for ruining his life. Grew to almost hate him. I am at peace with that now. What was it, the oil and hands, or me naming my problem and seeking God’s grace.

We do this only after we have prepared the folks. It is low key. I tell the folks that God’s word won’t return void, that no obedience to God will ever be wasted, however they must understand that God will give them what he knows they need.

Example, the friend who had her nurse call asking me to talk with her husband and help him to let her go. I stood on one side of her bed and Dave stood on the other. I felt in my spirit that I needed to tell her that she would have to accept whatever God gave (Dave was listening intently), that he would give something. Later, I realized that the grace God gave was to Dave, helping him come to peace about her going. Yes, I believe that it is real. What we do is not Oral Roberts, but we reach the point of anointing after hymns and liturgy lead us to the point of faith. It is working, Jerry. With my Pentecostal background I have shunned such things, but it is in the Bible. This UCC congregation and co-pastor are seeing good things happen and asking that this service be quarterly. And our adult Bible teacher lives quietly and faithfully with his male partner. Can you believe it? We have arrived at a good point, not by reducing our faith to mere nothing, but by showing love and acceptance in Christ’s name.

Eileen was remarkably improved, sat up the next day, had four good days at home, then the infection came back.

Shirley and I visited Eileen this afternoon in Hospice, sang to her and prayed for her. She is on her way out, but I don’t fell that our efforts were wasted. She had four more days at home and Dave is now at peace with her going.

I am a better pastor now than ever. Why did it take me so long?

MORE RESPONSE: Lamar, you are having a wonderful ministry with your healing services. How do you pray for people? Do they come forward and ask for specific healing? I have done it different ways. After they kneel I have asked them in private what it is they need healing for and I have had them fill out cards and hand them to me as they kneel. I don't think we offer this healing service enough in our churches. People have deep needs that they don't know what to do with and a healing service gives them an opportunity to name them, be anointed and prayed for. God bless your ministry. Bernie

HEROES-email exchange

2009-01-06T12:53:00.001-08:00

I love the last line of “Band of Brothers” where the real life surviving ranger is asked by his grand-daughter if he was a hero in the war? His answer, “No, but I did serve with the real heroes of the war.”

I love that line as it says so much about the military.

Though some of us did not see combat, or experience any hostilities, we were fortunate enough to serve with those heroes that did!db

I've thought lots of heroes and bravery. Surely lots are, soldiers who are in combat or even the threat of combat; but, I will have to say that over the last couple of years I've been involved on being basically the driver for Rose, fighting breast cancer for 10 years: diagnosed at 30, died just shy of her 41st birthday, my views have changed. I watched her die slowly and during the time I was with her, met lots of cancer survivors. Now, with soldiers, sometimes it's hard to gage. But, with Rose and these many that I met, from my perspective, there is no doubt, we are talking bravery and real heroes.
jda

SOLDIER CHRISTMAS MEANDERINGS

2008-12-26T07:44:00.000-08:00

CHRISTMAS IN KOREA

Alice, recently I was talking with someone and got to talking about various things and I told them about us Christmas caroling at Camp Red Cloud in Korea one Christmas. Funny what we remember but I remember going into the NCO (non commissioned officers) Club. There were about a dozen of us. And, you were the choir leader and amidst the GIs playing the slot machines, we sang Silent Night. It was a poignant moment. We laughed about it later but I remember that guys stopped and for that moment were really reverent. And, it became the seed for many a sermon after then, the idea that amidst the secular of life and the profane in a sense, the Prince of Peace even goes. A good message during the holidays for sure. da

ONE TIRED CHAPLAIN

I remember Christmas Eve, 1969, Ben Hoa: After doing zillions of services, visiting the Perimeter guards, etc, I was washed out by midnight. I fell into my bunk and went into sound sleep. Sometime after someone banged on my door, “Chaplain, there is an 11th Armored Cav. Soldier at the top of the water tower and he is threatening to jump.” I was so “pissed” that the 11 ACR wouldn't put a chaplain back for their approximately 1,000 soldiers, and that they had caused me such grief, fighting, etc, that I had used up all my compassion. I said, “tell him to go ahead and jump” and went back to sleep. Well, I finally did struggle out and talked the drunk GI off the water tower. Thank you Lord and Merry Christmas. LH

**Commentary: Remember the empty chairs at holiday tables

By Joseph L. Galloway
McClatchy Newspapers

Even in hard times, this is the holiday season and a time when thoughts turn to home and family and dinner tables covered with food and gaily wrapped presents and bright lights. Save a moment amid the celebrations to give thought to the hundreds of thousands of men and women in uniform in far-flung parts of this world who won't be sitting down to dinner with their families. More than 170,000 men and women of our military will spend their Christmas and New Year's in Iraq and Afghanistan, where killing and dying never take a day off.

Oh, Uncle Sam will do his best to see that most of them sit down to a special dinner of hot turkey and dressing and all the trimmings, and even in the most remote outpost some soldier or Marine will jury-rig a tree of sorts with decorations of sorts. But it's a hollow celebration for a lonely soldier so far from home and loved ones, and lonely, too, at that dinner table back home where a chair stands empty at the head of the table.

The holidays always bring the troops to mind for me. My earliest memories are of holidays during World War II when rationing of meat and sugar and all manner of things that we take for granted today made the feasting and gift-giving a lot more difficult. My dad and six of his brothers were all gone to war, along with four of my mom's brothers. I grew up in houses full of frightened women who were doing their best to make do on shortened rations and small allotment checks. My mother got $17 a month from dad's $21 a month pay.
Times were hard, but every American, indeed everyone in the world, had a stake in a war that was ravaging much of Europe and Asia and would kill 60 million people before it was over.

I have my own memories of holidays spent with soldiers and Marines in combat zones from Vietnam to the Persian Gulf to Iraq. The first was Christmas in An Khe with the 1st Cavalry Division in 1965. The newly arrived division and my friends in the 7th U.S. Cavalry had been blooded in the previous month's terrible battles in the Ia Drang Valley. The memories of young men wounded and dying all around were fresh in our minds. The gaps in our ranks had been filled with green troops yanked out of replacement depots, and the new arrivals looked at the old, sad eyes of men no older than they were with awe, and we all wondered what fresh Hell we'd found ourselves inhabiting. And along came the Bob Hope traveling troupe to take our minds off the war for a couple of hours. Everyone howled at Bob's corny jokes and Jerry Colona's slapstick antics. Everyone's eyes bulged at the sight of a scantily clad Joey Heatherton dancing wildly around the stage.

When it was over, most of us just sat there on the ground wishing it wasn't; wishing we weren't there; wishing that we were home in a crowded living room smelling the treats soon to emerge from a hot, busy kitchen. Then everyone got up, brushed the red dirt off their jungle fatigues and drifted back to their green Army tents and cots. Back to reality.

Another memory is of Thanksgiving in the Saudi Arabian desert in November of 1990. I'd signed up to go eat turkey and trimmings with some unit, somewhere out among the sand dunes, when I was called to board a bus with two dozen other reporters and photographers. The bus would stop at an empty crossroads, and the guy with the clipboard would call off a name or two and drop them before moving on. My turn came, and I stepped off literally in the middle of nowhere. A tall captain of artillery stepped up and saluted: "Mr. Galloway, we are C Battery, 1st Battalion, 21st Field Artillery. We call ourselves The Falcons and you will understand why far better than anyone. We provided fire support for the 7th Cavalry at Landing Zone X-Ray in the Ia Drang. "I stood there unable to say a word, tears rolling down my cheeks. Then I knew that somewhere in that cold, forbidding institution that is an Army, there was both a memory and a heart, and that heart was as tender as my own. I've never had so fine a Thanksgiving dinner as that one in an Army mess tent in a cold, windswept desert; never enjoyed the company and camaraderie so much as I did then and there. Used without permission but we don't think Joe will mind.

**We think the President elect took a note from Joe and send a great message to the troops."

HEAVEN

2008-11-27T11:44:00.000-08:00

Someone recently asked me did I believe in heaven? I do and have thought lots about it and here are my comments.

I definitely believe in heaven. It gives me comfort to think that in the great mystery of life and death, that this time on earth is not the end. My favorite Bible verse reiterates this. If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable.

For me personally, I wonder about how heaven will be. I don't think it will be in what we call a temporal sense, meaning knowing in the way we do now, earthy sort of stuff. I would want my friends to meet up with all the special people that I've known in this life. And, it would have to be in a way where the memory of them is not as we would think. Intimacy issues, etc. Of what they would be, I really don't know. It sounds very complicated but in my own mind, I see that heaven can work it out. OK, my theory which is as good as any.

SUICIDE

2008-11-15T10:00:00.000-08:00

This friend of mind recently committed suicide and I am devastated. He had been calling me throughout the week wanting to talk. I just didn't see it coming. It is so tragic. I was on the way to see him when I found out. There's a lot involved. I am totally in shock.

So sorry. My counsel is first of all, not your fault, nothing you can do about it. And, you never, never want to ever think you are responsible for someone else's behavior. Suicide is such a difficult thing mainly as it is so wrapped in the tragic and sad circumstances often of mental illness, mostly bipolar types, which is sad in itself. I subscribe to the Albert Ellis view, (guy who developed theory of RET, Rational Emotive Therapy) that a person's life belongs to them and if they choose to end it, their decision. Sounds really cold and there is only relative truth to it, I believe. Mainly, that every suicide victim has a different story. Most of the time, drugs and almost always mental illness is involved. My experience.

Over the years, I've come to believe that most of the time, a person momentarily goes crazy; unfortunately, if they are successful, there is no changing their minds.

Here in San Francisco, we are constantly debating those who jump off the Golden Gate Bridge and it is indeed a popular spot. When I was a chaplain at Letterman Army Medical Center, when it was a 250 bed teaching hospital, part of our job was to retrieve the jumpers and get them to the hospital's morgue as they almost always died. Rarely, but it did happen, one lived. And, I talked to one who did. He told me that he immediately, after jumping, knew he'd made a mistake and wanted to live and so he got himself in a position to hit the water straight: feet first and together (much like paratroopers are taught to land feet together) as opposed to just randomly flopping. Saved his life. For him, it was a spur of the moment decision. And, he is an example of the thinking now, if we can do something to take away a person's ability to be spontaneous as to taking their lives, i. e., a barrier at the Golden Gate Bridge. And, once they are over the impulse, they are OK, at least for the moment.

I know you feel badly and I would too. If he had talked to you, would it have prevented it, maybe? Hard to know but you are not responsible. I think the key is to recognize mental illness and then to be responsible with what you believe the problem to be. I don't know if you have ever been involved with someone who is crazy (my shrink friend says the best definition of how to know someone is crazy is that you can't understand them--I've always found that is exactly right, just can't understand them or their behavior). I have stories to tell. A couple of them, I do not know how I survived, always grateful. People that you truly care about who simply are on another planet, sometimes a different galaxy.

Sorry about your friend and the difficulty. All life is the laboratory. da

BEING THERE

2008-07-26T09:19:00.000-07:00

BEING THERE
One of the absolute maxims of life is that all of us die. Rich, poor, famous, infamous, it is a given reality. We are born, live our lives and then we die. In our American culture, we don't do it so well, however we interpret what "well" means. We fight it and well we should. Without waxing too philosophical and say let us not fear it, maybe to say, "we are not going gently into the night." I've always liked William Cullen Bryant's take on death.

So live that when thy summons comes to join that innumerable caravan which moves to that mysterious realm where each shall take his chamber in the silent halls of death.

Go not like the quarry slave at night, scourged to his dungeon, but sustained and soothed by an unfaltering trust, approach thy grave like one who wraps the drapery of his couch about him and lies down to pleasant dreams.

My friend Mary (not her real name) has cancer. About ten years ago, the insidious disease struck her with a vengeance and the fight began. At first, I was little involved as many jumped in to help but then as often happens, the good intentions faded away. I don't want to be too hard as people are human and good or bad, us Americans live busy lives and few know how to prioritize for the best. And, let's face it, our attention span is measured in nano seconds. In fact, this was one of those "hard to get use" to scenes when I was a hospital chaplain. Our patients were, as a rule older, retired military. One program I remember all too well illustrates this: we would have a very sick patient, often at death's door, loved ones would be everywhere which was great. We even had a special room set aside for them to gather where we could meet and talk strategy, plans of action and various medical directive sorts of stuff by the docs. As time went on, they would disappear little by little and if the patient stayed with us for awhile and inched closer to death, it was not unusual for us to have to hunt for the family when the time came. This isn't to place blame or say how terrible it is. It just is.

Getting more involved with Mary in her treatment has brought an entirely different attitude about how to help the sick, especially those whose very life is fighting to live life. Mary's job is to stay alive. And, she has done it for ten years under the most trying of circumstances. Against all odds! Here's what has happened to her during that time--at the beginning, she was at stage 4, which is a death sentence in most cases. Her husband, a ne'the well' in my view couldn't step up to the plate. It wasn't that he was a bad person, simply that he couldn't handle it. And, without belaboring the point, Mary had to make a decision whether to fight him or fight for her life. She wisely chose the latter. Mary shouldered on.

How it has affected me is a strong realization that those of us who assume roles of help need to do it very intentional as the care of those like Mary have to be the primary concern. Too often, the helper becomes the attention. Those who witness the fight, are called upon to drive, to look after; fetch food, drinks, reading material, the "beck and call" of the Marys of the world. And, we need to do it with a rationale which gets "us" out of the way. No easy task. It is a philosophy of simply, being there.

Unfortunately, there is a tendency to want to cogitate our navel, to say how hard this is on us, how difficult. My experience with Mary makes me realize that this is not a "rationale" approach. The call is to Mary, not us and if we can't get out of the way, find something else to do.

Recently, I sought advice from someone who has been through the awful pain with a loved one until that moment when they departed this life for the next. Here is pretty much the dialogue. Their advice was simple but profound.

When you were going through the final days with your husband, how did you hold up?

Well, it was not a matter of me holding up. It was a matter of how to make him comfortable.

Did you know it was his last days.

Yes, I did.

How about other members of your family?

Well, we really didn't talk about it but I think they knew. We all felt a tremendous need to be around. My husband never voiced it but from the time he received the "end" diagnosis, he didn't want to be alone. I think that's natural.

What did your children do?

(Laughed) We did the best we could with the idea of making Phillip (not his real name) comfortable.

What about treatment?

We went until it became obvious that there was truly nothing else to do.

How did you determine that?

To be honest, I think that the doctor more or less determined it; most doctors have a plan. It is what they do. While we may be cowering in the corner, they have a plan of treatment. And, this is what my husband responded too. He did what his doctors told him to do.

So you were pretty impressed with your doctors?

Yes, in a sense. Phillip needed assurance that it wasn't just going to be OK. There was a fear of the future. Along with the rest of us, he would not walk alone but with his trusted physician. Not a small thing. I have mixed emotion to be honest.

In what way?

To be honest again, I would rather not share that, just a view that I'm working through. I can tell you this though: I think it was probably the pain more than anything which made Phillip and all of us feel the hopelessness. There's no giving assurance around the pain. Trust me on this. The awful pain.(shakes her head and gives a deep sigh)

I have read somewhere that the worst aspect of the dying is that patients fear the pain.

I don't know about that but sounds right--he was in such pain and it just cut us to the core. (begins to sob)

What were some of the difficult times if you don't mind talking about it?

In addition to the pain, I think it was friends who wanted to help but couldn't.

What do you mean?

People's motives are good, they want to help but often they don't and can't.

How did you deal with it?

At first I didn't but then later on, I became the gate keeper.

What brought you to that point?

To be honest with you, it was a single incident. A neighbor who was also a cousin came over and just stayed and stayed. He wanted to talk about old times and situations and it got unbearable. Finally, I intervened and said, "Phillip needs to lie down and then I'll come back in and talk." I could tell my husband was at the point of exhaustion and exasperation. In fact, I got him to the bed and he just sat on the side of it, could not even lay down. I'm sure that our neighbor thought he was doing the right thing but it was opposite of what we needed.

Any other things that stick out in your mind?

Well, there is one thing and I hesitate to talk about it but it needs to be said. Don't talk about religion. Well, maybe I should qualify that somewhat. If the patient asks about it OK but I think that religious people, especially if they are conservative have this need to talk about it. One incident we had was so bad, made my husband so uncomfortable. I don't think I should talk about it.

It might be helpful to someone.

Well, this person felt the need to really talk about my husband's relationship to God. It was so inappropriate at the time and created such tension. Conservative religious people feel like this is some kind of commandment. I guess they see it as their duty. What they don't seem to understand is that it is an opinion on their part. Think about it? How can God be so arbitrary? He heals one, he doesn't another. To me, it has always taken away some of the power of God to insist that He is so involved with us, so selective in critical situations. I just don't believe it and in a sick room, no patient wants to be forced to deal with such issues. I surely know my husband didn't. This was a good person and I know he felt bad because he had to feel the tension. I felt for him but I felt more for the uncomfortableness of my dying husband.

So, if you could give anyone any advice about what/how to do or be with their loved ones in terms of caring, what would it be?

I think just "being there" with doing what the person wants as best you can determine, whatever that is. If it is even necessary to "be there" needs to be determined. Can you sit and not talk or talk if the person wants too but leave it at that. I'm discovered that most can't . And, a last thing, the sick person definitely does not need to be worried about their responses or lack thereof.

THE COMING HOME PROJECT

2008-06-28T05:42:00.000-07:00

The first time I met Joe Bobrow was at an interfaith memorial service where he was the Buddhist representative. At that time, I thought: what a gentle person. It was somewhat of a generalized statement as my experience with the Buddhists in Korea had been quite extensive and always good. The Buddhist are a wonderfully "at peace" group that we would do well to emulate. Anyway, I lost contact with Joe until my wife met him at a gathering for organizations serving Iraqi and Afghanistan vets. Joe's organization, the Coming Home Project was and is doing fabulous and extraordinary work with Iraqi and Afghanistan vets.

The Coming Home Project seems to have zeroed in on how to grapple with the special needs of vets. With all the emphasis now, Joe's organization is already running retreats and providing therapy to hundreds of soldiers and families. I think it is poised to be the premier helping Provider for vets--no small thing. Too many organizations have great programs on paper but in actuality provide very little.

And, as we know, unfortunately, the bureaucratic processes often overshadows the care of the soldier. It always happens. Unless a soldier is unbelievably tenacious, he/she falls through the cracks. The Coming Home Project is a wonderful stopgap and advocate.

The Iraqi war will end at some time and it may simply be that we declare victory and come home. Who knows? Certainly not those in power. But, the war on terror will not end. Issues surrounding the soldier, especially the ones who have served multiple tours in Iraq, will be around for years even as Vietnam is still with us.

The Coming Home Project is absolutely essential to the future of our country and the volunteer soldiers who serve us. And, unfortunately, the VA, is looked too to provide the care for these warriors. Physically/medically they can and will but with the mental health issues, they are simple not equipped to do it. And, we should not expect them too. For now, we all should be thankful for Joe Bobrow and the Coming Home Project to fill the gap and serve the soldier.

WHERE ARE THE CHAPLAINS?

2008-05-17T13:19:00.000-07:00

Yesterday on NPR, I listened to this horror story of this Iraqi vet who came back to Fort Carson, literally deteriorated right in front of his wife's eyes, no help: Army in the form of his immediate commander, a Captain, claiming malingering, etc.--in one example, the guy was so sick that he had to be wheeled to daily formation by his wife.

All military types, who mostly have a love and hate relationship with the media know that there is probably more to the story than what some NPR (National Public Radio) reporter used--the news media is looking for a story, not the truth: a story and the hell with the facts; regardless, this was a horror story even if only a miniscule portion were true. My thoughts immediately, as in so many of such things, where was the Chaplain? The Chaplain is the "poor man's psychiatrist". The Chaplain is the first stop for this wife or should be.

The well done SOP, (Standard Operating Procedure) sickening in its content but a super documentary about the Abu Grabib infamous prison debacle. The pictures of humiliation by any standard were scandalous. The scandal, awful, made me ashamed. The immediate question: Where was the chaplain? Is it that Chaplains have such poor PR (public relations) that they are not even mentioned in dealing with problems of soldiers, especially returning Iraqi vets. Occasionally, we get some story of the good that chaplains are doing and it is a lot. I understand but too often in these horror stores, nobody mentions the Chaplain: the wife in this episode went to everybody, getting no help. What if she had said, "well, at least the chaplain encouraged me."

Are Chaplains too tied to the command structure to "kick against the pricks" as the Apostle Paul said and I am fond of saying. We have a Chief of Chaplains. I'm thinking typical politics--his mission: to run the chaplaincy, meaning messing in personnel and trying to keep a low profile. Is the chaplaincy like Ensign Pulver in the movie, Mister Roberts with a mission of staying constantly below the radar. I hope not. Please! The chaplains should be making a difference. This is the best chance Chaplains have had in ages to really shine in terms of what they do best. I'm not hearing it! On this NPR story, the Chief of Chaplain's office ought to be all over it: finding out how to help, what to do--anything but nothing which we are hearing.

We at least ought to have a few chaplains kicking ass and taking names. Amen!

LAUGHTER

2008-03-30T14:26:00.000-07:00

We need to laugh more and seek stress reducing humor in our everyday lives. Laughter is the human gift for coping and for survival. Laughter ringing, laughter pealing, laughter roaring, laughter bubbling. Chuckling. Giggling. Snickering. Snorting. These are the sounds of soul saving laughter which springs from our emotional core and helps us feel better, see things more clearly, and creatively weigh and use our options. Laughter helps us roll with the punches that inevitably come our way. The power of laughter is unleashed every time we laugh. In today's stressful world, we need to laugh much more. Laughter Therapist, Enda Junkins

To be honest, I've heard of the benefits of laughter in one's life. I agree, has to be, we would surely be better in life if we laughed more. Who would not believe that!

Recently, I had a laughter experience. It was almost one of those where you had to be there experiences. I was the driver for my good friend who has been battling cancer for ten years. We go into the Cancer Center at the University Hospital. They have these little alcoves where the patient sits in a big chair and the chemo is piped into their bodies. There are acres of folks it seems. All battling for their lives in one way or another. Beside the patient's chair is a small one for those like myself if we choose to hang out. I do. In fact, I've asked myself why? I could easily wait down in the lobby, much more comfortable and some escapism. But, somehow, I always think, "it's the least I can do."

My friend is asleep. I often don't know how to relate to those around me. Surely not be my friendly, gregarious, talkative self. This is not the Pig and Whistle bar. Usually, you glance at those clustered with you in your little alcove. After all, you have a connection. You are a hostage to cancer in a way: hostage in that you are sad, that it causes you to think about your life, you're there. Outside is the sun and the beach is just a figurative stone's throw away.

I am sitting there cogitating my naval, thinking about all of this and across from us is a Latino lady and my counterpart. She looks to be about mid forties, slightly dishelved, not that it is a big deal, we're not there for fashion. She has an angelic face. Sweet. A nurse and one or two others come in and explain in Spanish the details of her chemo treatment. She nods. With the treatment flowing into her veins, she and her friend are talking in Spanish. I'm wondering what they are saying. Suddenly, the one getting the treatment busts out laughing. She glances at me. I start laughing. I don't even know what I'm laughing at: but for thirty minutes at least, we are laughing back and forth: stop, start. Like when you are in church as a kid and get to giggling and can't stop. You're shaking, you're laughing so hard. It was hysterical. My friend in her half sleep, wanted to know why we were laughing. I don't know. I think laugh therapy is "right on."

We need to laugh more and seek stress reducing humor in our everyday lives. Laughter is the human gift for coping and for survival. Laughter ringing, laughter pealing, laughter roaring, laughter bubbling. Chuckling. Giggling. Snickering. Snorting. These are the sounds of soul saving laughter which springs from our emotional core and helps us feel better, see things more clearly, and creatively weigh and use our options. Laughter helps us roll with the punches that inevitably come our way. The power of laughter is unleashed every time we laugh.

MY FELLOW VET

2008-03-25T09:04:00.000-07:00

Larry R. Smith

May 4, 1945 – March 19,2008

After a 2 year courageous battle with both Pancreatic and Prostate Cancer, Larry Russell Smith passed peacefully at his home in Edmonds, Washington, surrounded by his wife, friends and family at the age of 62.

Larry was born in Bremerton, Washington, to Doris Dolbec and Russell Allan Smith. He was the youngest of three children of a ship builder and an elementary school teacher and leaves his older brother William Smith of Kenmore, Washington, and an older sister Lois Forbes of Renton, Washington, behind. Larry was mostly raised in San Mateo, California. He was part of the first graduating class of Aragon High School in 1963 lettering in both the football and wrestling programs. He attended both San Francisco State and the College of San Mateo before ultimately finishing at the University of Washington majoring in Mathematics in 1967. He was a lifelong Husky fan attending many of his alma mater’s Rose Bowl games.

Larry was drafted into the Army shortly after college and served courageously in Vietnam earning two Purple Hearts as part of the 199th light infantry brigade known as the ‘Redcatchers’. Larry served out his military career at the Presidio of San Francisco applying his mathematical skills in the payroll department until 1970.

Larry was a loyal and dedicated husband, friend, brother, father, grandfather, employee and mentor to many. He worked for Rael and Letson as a Consulting Actuary for over 30 years rising to the Chief Actuary and Vice Presidency role and serving on its, and many of its clients’, boards during his employment. He obtained his MAAA and EA certificates and distinctions from the Society of Actuaries while working for Rael and Letson.

Larry loved his children and grandchildren dearly and is survived by 3 grown children, Michael Smith of Palo Alto, California, Kathleen Pacheco of Moss Beach, California and Alex Smith currently obtaining his MBA degree at Cal Poly San Luis Obispo along with 2 step children Jason Hoff of Yakima, Washington, and Sharmon Hoff of Bainbridge Island, Washington. His Grandchildren and step-Grandchildren will have many fond memories of their grandfather. Sebastian and Eva Pacheco, Sophia and Trevor Smith and Amanda and Andrew Hoff will miss their grandfather and his loyalty to his family. He is survived by his wife Betti-Jo Picatti Hoff Smith of Edmonds, Washington, and his first wife of 30 years, Kathleen Alderman Smith of Montara, California. Larry is also survived by many nieces, nephews, cousins and friends.

Larry was a point of inspiration to us all with a passion for life and living. He was a world-traveler, an aficionado of fine wine, scotch whiskey, a good cigar and great conversation. Larry was an avid follower and season ticket holder of the 49ers for 35 years and of the Seahawks for the past 4 years. His love for the outdoors fueled his many trip to both Alaska and Lake Tahoe throughout his life. He was also a 25 year resident of Montara, California, along the Pacific coast below San Francisco. He will be deeply missed by those who had met him and all agree that he left us too early in his life.

Friends, family and those who were touched by his life will be meeting to celebrate Larry’s life on April 5th. The family asks that in lieu of flowers, please donate to either the American Cancer Society or The University of Washington’s Tyee program. The family would like to thank the wonderful staff at the Swedish Medical Center in Seattle and the hospice program through the VA and Sisters of Providence.

Mike

REDCATCHER
199TH LIGHT INFANTRY BRIGADE VIETNAM

JUST BEING THERE

2008-03-06T06:07:00.000-08:00

One of the absolute maxims of life is that all of us die. Rich, poor, famous, infamous, it is a given reality. We are born, live our lives and then we die. In our American culture, we don't do it so well, however we interpret what "well" means. We fight it and well we should. Without waxing too philosophical and say let us not fear it, maybe to say, "we are not going gently into the night." I've always liked William Cullen Bryant's take on death.

So live that when thy summons comes to join that innumerable caravan which moves to that mysterious realm where each shall take his chamber in the silent halls of death.

Go not like the quarry slave at night, scourged to his dungeon, but sustained and soothed by an unfaltering trust, approach thy grave like one who wraps the drapery of his couch about him and lies down to pleasant dreams.

My friend Mary (not her real name) has cancer. About ten years ago, the insidious disease struck her with a vengeance and the fight began. At first, I was little involved as many jumped in to help but then as often happens, the good intentions faded away. I don't want to be too hard as people are human and good or bad, us Americans live busy lives and few know how to prioritize for the best. And, let's face it, our attention span is measured in nano seconds. In fact, this was one of those "hard to get use" to scenes when I was a hospital chaplain. Our patients were, as a rule older, retired military. One program I remember all too well illustrates this: we would have a very sick patient, often at death's door, loved ones would be everywhere which was great. We even had a special room set aside for them to gather where we could meet and talk strategy, plans of action and various medical directive sorts of stuff by the docs. As time went on, they would disappear little by little and if the patient stayed with us for awhile and inched closer to death, it was not unusual for us to have to hunt for the family when the time came. This isn't to place blame or say how terrible it is. It just is.

Getting more involved with Mary in her treatment has brought an entirely different attitude about how to help the sick, especially those whose very life is fighting to live life. Mary's job is to stay alive. And, she has done it for ten years under the most trying of circumstances. Against all odds! Here's what has happened to her during that time--at the beginning, she was at stage 4, which is a death sentence in most cases. Her husband, a ne'the well' in my view couldn't step up to the plate. It wasn't that he was a bad person, simply that he couldn't handle it. And, without belaboring the point, Mary had to make a decision whether to fight him or fight for her life. She wisely chose the latter. Mary shouldered on.

How it has affected me is a strong realization that those of us who assume roles of help need to do it very intentional as the care of those like Mary have to be the primary concern. Too often, the helper becomes the attention. Those who witness the fight, are called upon to drive, to look after; fetch food, drinks, reading material, the "beck and call" of the Marys of the world. And, we need to do it with a rationale which gets "us" out of the way. No easy task. It is a philosophy of simply, being there.

Unfortunately, there is a tendency to want to cogitate our navel, to say how hard this is on us, how difficult. My experience with Mary makes me realize that this is not a "rationale" approach. The call is to Mary, not us and if we can't get out of the way, find something else to do.

Recently, I sought advice from someone who has been through the awful pain with a loved one until that moment when they departed this life for the next. Here is pretty much the dialogue. Their advice was simple but profound.

When you were going through the final days with your husband, how did you hold up?

Well, it was not a matter of me holding up. It was a matter of how to make him comfortable.

Did you know it was his last days.

Yes, I did.

How about other members of your family?

Well, we really didn't talk about it but I think they knew. We all felt a tremendous need to be around. My husband never voiced it but from the time he received the "end" diagnosis, he didn't want to be alone. I think that's natural.

What did your children do?

(Laughed) We did the best we could with the idea of making Phillip (not his real name) comfortable.

What about treatment?

We went until it became obvious that there was truly nothing else to do.

How did you determine that?

To be honest, I think that the doctor more or less determined it; most doctors have a plan. It is what they do. While we may be cowering in the corner, they have a plan of treatment. And, this is what my husband responded too. He did what his doctors told him to do.

So you were pretty impressed with your doctors?

Yes, in a sense. Phillip needed assurance that it wasn't just going to be OK. There was a fear of the future. Along with the rest of us, he would not walk alone but with his trusted physician. Not a small thing. I have mixed emotion to be honest.

In what way?

To be honest again, I would rather not share that, just a view that I'm working through. I can tell you this though: I think it was probably the pain more than anything which made Phillip and all of us feel the hopelessness. There's no giving assurance around the pain. Trust me on this. The awful pain.(shakes her head and gives a deep sigh)

I have read somewhere that the worst aspect of the dying is that patients fear the pain.

I don't know about that but sounds right--he was in such pain and it just cut us to the core. (begins to sob)

What were some of the difficult times if you don't mind talking about it?

In addition to the pain, I think it was friends who wanted to help but couldn't.

What do you mean?

People's motives are good, they want to help but often they don't and can't.

How did you deal with it?

At first I didn't but then later on, I became the gate keeper.

What brought you to that point?

To be honest with you, it was a single incident. A neighbor who was also a cousin came over and just stayed and stayed. He wanted to talk about old times and situations and it got unbearable. Finally, I intervened and said, "Phillip needs to lie down and then I'll come back in and talk." I could tell my husband was at the point of exhaustion and exasperation. In fact, I got him to the bed and he just sat on the side of it, could not even lay down. I'm sure that our neighbor thought he was doing the right thing but it was opposite of what we needed.

Any other things that stick out in your mind?

Well, there is one thing and I hesitate to talk about it but it needs to be said. Don't talk about religion. Well, maybe I should qualify that somewhat. If the patient asks about it OK but I think that religious people, especially if they are conservative have this need to talk about it. One incident we had was so bad, made my husband so uncomfortable. I don't think I should talk about it.

It might be helpful to someone.

Well, this person felt the need to really talk about my husband's relationship to God. It was so inappropriate at the time and created such tension. Conservative religious people feel like this is some kind of commandment. I guess they see it as their duty. What they don't seem to understand is that it is an opinion on their part. Think about it? How can God be so arbitrary? He heals one, he doesn't another. To me, it has always taken away some of the power of God to insist that He is so involved with us, so selective in critical situations. I just don't believe it and in a sick room, no patient wants to be forced to deal with such issues. I surely know my husband didn't. This was a good person and I know he felt bad because he had to feel the tension. I felt for him but I felt more for the uncomfortableness of my dying husband.

So, if you could give anyone any advice about what/how to do or be with their loved ones in terms of caring, what would it be?

I think just "being there" with doing what the person wants as best you can determine, whatever that is. If it is even necessary to "be there" needs to be determined. Can you sit and not talk or talk if the person wants too but leave it at that. I'm discovered that most can't . And, a last thing, the sick person definitely does not need to be worried about their responses or lack thereof.

BRING THE GUILTY BASTARD IN

2008-03-02T08:43:00.000-08:00

This is an expression that is common in the military. And, in court martials where this statement originated, it is more true than untrue. Some of the reason is that very stringent requirements exist for what is called an Article 32 investigation. Usually this is so through that if it does come to court martial, there is a more than reasonable chance that the evidence is pretty exact. Not always as the trials of the Marines and their views of Rules of Engagement in Iraq surely will attest. But, all that aside, what I am aiming for here is a concept of supporting the son of a friend of mine.

Dear Jason, I'm sure you will not remember me but I met you when I was stationed with your Mom at the Presidio and there is a slight chance that we also might have connected when you were in CA and your Mom lived in Clayton. Regardless, I am a retired Army Chaplain and have been inquiring about your station in life since the onset of this saga.

I can't tell you how sad I am that this has happened to you. It is weird to me beyond belief. Your Mom has explained it to me and to say that I am fluxmoxed is an understatement of many a day. My confusion is that something like this has happened to you in the 21st Century is almost beyond my comprehension. But, that being said, it surely appears there is not much to be done about the basics at this particular point. I guess my reference would be something akin to Iraq. I have thought that move was stupid from the beginning but now that we are there, have to figure it out: not much to do about the mistakes that got us into the quagmire. And, with you, not much to do about the choices that also got you where you are. I do want to be supportive and your Mom tells me that the best way is to write you. I can surely do that.

I am in San Francisco. My wife and I live on Anza Street which is right at the foot of USF (University of San Francisco) housing. We really didn't know what we were getting into when we moved here but it has worked out fine. Living around a group of college kids will keep you young but more importantly, keep you awake. They never sleep. USF is a good Jesuit school and by the looks of the students, they have a number of foreign students. We live in a bottom flat, above us are a group about your age who play video games all day. They actually work for a gaming magazine and are testing these games. What a profession! It is hard to know how many of them live in the apartment, they come and go: nice kids. And, then above them are two 7 foot basketball players and their manager. I guess the school wants to protect their investment and so they keep someone with these guys.

Jason, God bless you. I wish I could send you some books, etc.; I think that if I were to give you some suggestions, it might be to figure out how to make use of this time you're a guest of the State. I actually have had some experience in this area as a chaplain. My first duty assignment was as the Stockade Chaplain at Fort Bragg, NC. Of course, most of the population there were guilty of violating military rules, like AWOL, etc.; as civilians, they would not have to deal with such. And, one of my favorite programs on TV, hardcore to the max and may be unrealistic, OZ, on HBO. All that to say that I do think about it. What about education? Learning how to make movies, etc. etc.; of course, I don't have a clue as to your choices. I'll be checking in with your Mom to get some idea. However, will not be sharing with her our conversations or correspondence if we have any. God bless.

THE COLONEL

2008-02-10T07:13:00.001-08:00

Word came a few nights ago that my buddy, Bill O'Donovan had departed this life. I am sad. Bill was one of those guys that you sort of figured would live forever. I first got to know him when I was at the Presidio as the pastor for two congregations. He was retired, a Colonel lawyer type who had started out as an infantryman in the Big War. In fact, It was not hard to imagine Bill right out of central casting ahead of John Wayne. Bill was an infantry company commander and in many fierce battle in the South Paific, proved the meddle like so many of the greatest generation. Bill had stories to tell, like jumping in a foxhole full of snakes--he loved to tell it.

But, the one I remember mostly is one of great coincidence where he wrote a very poignant letter to the family of one of his enlisted guys, attempting to comfort them in their loss. Forty years or even longer, he was at some function in San Francisco, having become a successful Army and civilian attorney, when the featured speaker referenced an O'Donovan that had written this wonderful letter to his grandmother--A letter that had gone a long way in sustaining her throughout the war. The grandson had saved it as a cherished possession. Imagine his surprise when he discovered Bill. To the Colonel, such coincidences were really not chance at all but moments to savor.

Bill had thousands of stories. I loved to listen. He was a stalward at the 1100 hours service, along with his wife, Jane. He loved to be around the military--to smell them he would say.

What an inspiration! When I was in Korea and felt that I wanted to begin an organization for Vietnam vets to help Amerasian (American fathers/Asian mothers, often ostracized in their native country) and Vietnamese kids who had come to America, Bill encouraged me, He felt we all had some collective guilt in running out and leaving the Vietnamese with empty promises. Although he would never own up to it, Bill was one of the shakers and movers in developing the policy of allowing the Vietnamese who had helped us come to America. During that time, I remember the news accounts which were highly critical of the policy. Bill and I were watching as the planes landed from Vietnam and those women and children got on and off buses. I will never forget what the Colonel said: "if that (meaning the Vietnamese) doesn't melt hearts, then nothing will. It did and any opposition to the policy faded away. Bill was not in the least surprised. He was a great American patriot and had faith in the spirit of America he would say.

The Colonel contributed. It was who Bill was. He touched life. Bill became the treasurer for our fledgling non profit, Vietnam Vets Southeast Asian Children's Project. And, it was also Bill who jokingly said, "I don't think our organization is needed." What he meant was that we discovered quickly that of all the emigrant groups, the Vietnamese needed the least help. In San Francisco, at least, every kid had three paper routes and after six months, was speaking better English than most of us.

Bill and I would hang out at Liverpool Lil's, a place just off the Presidio. We met there almost every week. And, when I went to Arizona for an assignment, I bought a print of Liverpool LIl's and gave it to him. Bill and Jane lived on Divisadero Street in a great sectiion of San Francisco called Cow Hollow, They were the epitome of good hosts--old Army. It was all silverware and elegance. What always fascinated me about Bill, among so many things, was the fact that he absolutely broached constantly the perceived age barriers. Forever young, he loved chaplains and was as comfortable with the young guys as the old ones. To say that Bill was a renaissnce man is somewhat of an understatement. For those who have seen my favorite TV minseries or read the book, Lonesome Dove, Bill is without a doubt, Gus, the perpetual and ubiquitous renaissance man.

My world is not the same without Bill. But, I will have to say that I have comfort in something Bill said over and over: every day has been a gift. The Colonel was a gift.

2007-12-13T07:12:00.000-08:00

Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.
13:2 HEB

Life is a school for angels. Love is the Teacher, so do your homework without fear. Death is merely graduation.
found on a Starbucks cup

Prayer For Today: You are faithful, Lord. Your promises are from everlasting to everlasting and your saving power is our sure salvation. Though on every side in our world our faith and hopes are attacked, yet will we trust in you. Teach us to live as those who believe that love which goes on loving will always win at last. Amen.

Suggestion: Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in life has a purpose.
-Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (1926 -)

Buddy and Me

2007-11-29T08:30:00.000-08:00

Rev. Harley G. "Buddy" Babb, Jr., 83, went home to be with the Lord, and his beloved wife Ruby, on November 23, 2007. Born March 1, 1924, Rev. Babb was born and raised in Fountain Inn. A veteran of the European Theatre in World War II, he was wounded multiple times and awarded the Bronze Star and Purple Heart with Oak Leaf Cluster for his service. After returning from the war, he was called later into the ministry and graduated from Furman University. He studied at Erskine Theological Seminary, and had further training in pastoral counseling and chaplaincy at Spartanburg Regional Medical Center. Rev. Babb pastored Crestview Baptist (Fountain Inn), Poplar Springs Baptist (Moore), and Arcadia First Baptist (Spartanburg) churches. After leaving the pastorate he was chief of counseling with the Greenville County Alcohol and Drug Abuse Commission until retirement.

BUDDY AND ME

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Others come, stay for awhile, touch us and we are never ever the same again. The poet Flavia said this and oh so true as relates to my friend, Buddy. He touched me, really touched me. I think that Jesus probably welcomed Buddy personally into heaven. In fact, I doubt seriously if many of the preachers, famous or infamous, maybe Mother Teresa, received the heavenly welcome of Buddy. He truly was a "giant" in terms of service; never had a big church or one that could decently pay him: humble without guile. I am sad.

I have so many stories to tell about Buddy; a book but these come quickly to mind. I had gone to Furman University, a small Baptist college in SC, on a football scholarship. Unprepared for college, I failed out after the first year and lost my scholarship. I already had two jobs and was on the verge of leaving college and going home. The college dean had called me in. As I sat in his outer office, thinking that I was getting my walking papers, I was resolved. This was pretty much the gist of our conversation: you are not prepared and it is enviable that you feel the calling to the ministry but there are denominations where you don't have to have a college education. Maybe go to Bible School or something. He was trying to be helpful.

I walked out of the office, not only with a heavy heart but honestly, with no direction. It was a spiritual moment even if I didn't realize it then. The Bible says, "God, who has become a good work in you, will see it through" or something like that. Maybe this was one of my problems, I knew it was in the Bible somewhere but couldn't find it half the time. A real calling would have better placed a guy to at least know the Bible.

I had an old 49 Ford, coupe, I loved that car. Taped to the sun visor were all these Bible verses and one said, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthened me." I believed it even if I couldn't quite figure it out. I started out toward town, thinking, "Maybe it is time to consider other options." What? Well, the Army maybe, something.

I stopped at a 7-11 to get a Pepsi, which was always comforting. Walking to it, I walked past a printing place or some sort of business, on the window was a Help Wanted sign. Without thinking I went in: they wanted a janitor, preferred a college student and maybe train me to help in the business which was actually called, Therma Fax Copying Machines. She hired me without me having a clue what I was going to do. Thus Buddy Babb entered my life. The lady that hired me was actually his sister who was the office manager.

Immediately, we bonded. I learned that Buddy was the Service Manager for the business. And, it was much later than I discovered he was the primary force behind its success. Everybody loved him. Buddy already had felt the "calling" and this job was merely something to keep bread on the table.

Buddy became a force in my life: mentor, encourager, friend, confidante. He should have taken me off his income tax as a dependent. Ruby, the wife, was this wonderful cook. And, believe me, a few times in those days, a good meal was no small thing. Sometimes after the meal, Buddy would always want to pray; and, for Buddy, it was not just praying but these long conversations with God--he'd literally pray for every single person he knew, to include people overseas, you name it: sometimes, it was an hour or two. I would go to sleep and wake up about the time he finished and was always so thankful as I would have been mortified for him to think I was asleep while he was exhorting God to use my life for good.

At Therma Fax Copying Machines, making like $2 an hour, Buddy convinced the anal retentive boss to allow me to start doing service calls on machines. It was more money but I didn't know anything about the machines--pretty complicated for their day. Buddy says, "No sweat, I don't even know much about them. Just look like you know what you are doing and when nobody is looking, open the machine and hit it a couple of times on the side and then about 95% of the time, it will be OK. I did and it worked.

Buddy adopted the absolute untouchables; adults/kids who were mentally and physically challenged in every way. I don't know where he found them. Once he got me to go with him to this burial service for a young teenager that he found living with his Dad in a trailer park. You guessed it, Buddy adopted the family. The child lived much longer than usual because, according to Buddy, the father, although poor doted on this kid who had Spina Bifida. My girlfriend at the time who is now my wife, went with me. The only attendees were Buddy, Jackie and me and the father. Buddy insisted we have a funeral service as though we had a cast of thousands. Jackie sang, His Eye Is On The Sparrow. It was beautiful.

When I was in Vietnam, I went through a particularly hard period, mainly disillusionment. I knew that young Americans were dying and for what. I had determined there was no good reason. I wrote Buddy about it. In his own right, he was a real hero, having served in the Infantry in WW ll. I knew about it, not because he ever discussed it but once I saw all his medals: three silver stars, several purple hearts and other medals. His brother-in-law did tell me an actual event that happened. They were pinned down by a German regiment all night and one of his squad members was severely wounded. Buddy shielded his body all night by laying on top of him. Why was I not surprised?

Buddy wrote back and said, "God has only called you to be faithful. You are and have to trust that He will give you courage and strength to do what you have to do." He included in his letter this beautiful polished rock and said, "When there's doubt, rub this." It was a small thing but I cannot convey how often this simple act provided comfort and solace. Buddy loved to get these simple stones that he found by the roadside and polish them into this beautiful luster. I think he saw this act as symbolically being the way our own lives are. We are works in progress.

Buddy Babb was a giant among God's servants. What little I am today, without reservation, I owe much to this man. He quoted this to me one day and I added it to my Ford's visor, "Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance." THANKS, BUDDY.

Good and Evil

2007-09-22T12:09:00.000-07:00

Right and wrong. Wow, what subjects? My Dad use to say all the time, "Son, always try to do what's right." I never realized as the years stretched out and I became my Dad, the truth, right and wrong, adinfinitum would be so complicated but also so simple. And, there's nothing that conveys doing the right thing more than old time cowboy movies. I think so anyway.

My hero has always been Randolph Scott and a close second, Joel McCrea: you could count on those guys to do the right thing.

Recently, I watched a special on Sam Peckinpah who made many cowboy movies with Randolph and Joel. His best was Ride The High Country, which was Randolph Scott's last. I had already seen it several times but saw it again. Watching it through different lens, based on what I had heard on the Penkinpah Special made it even more meaningful.

Randolph Scott and Joel McCrea are aging former lawmen. Randolph Scott and Joel get locked in a good or bad, right or wrong confrontation. Randolph is the realist of the two and sees all the hard work as less than principled and now is the time to maybe cash in. Along the way, Randolph, who in this movie and most I have seen, is ever the renaissance man. He has taken as a partner a young potential ne' the well. There's a young girl who forces Joel to be her protector, simply because it is the right thing to do. When asked by Randolph why he is so straight and narrow and everything is black and white, Joel says, "I want t go into my house justified." Who knows what that statement means? Here's my take: I want to live my life in such a way that when it's over, I have done my best. Just about sums it up.

In a world where nothing anymore seems to be black and white, looking back to Ride The High Country seems mighty good.

THE EYES OF TAMMY FAYE

2007-07-22T09:32:00.000-07:00

Tammy Faye has gone on to her just rewards. I'm a little sad. I saw the documentary, The Eyes of Tammy Faye, done by two gay guys. Very interesting and I think I might watch it again--what I got from it before was the mutual respect of the film makers and their subject.

What a storied background that Ms. Tammy has lived. Most of us got to know her when, along with her former husband, Jim, they were ripping off the faithful. All of us know that story and the downfall. When it happened, I had mixed feeling, although never a fan. I was constantly asking questions: how could people be so stupid as to be taken in by these two. But, to be fair, I was constantly asking that of all the televangelists, whether they promised riches or keys to the kingdom.

I always thought that Jim and Tammy Faye were kind of naive with a simple message that made people want to believe. And, then there was Jim's near tryst with a not quite so innocent believer, Jessica Hahn. He didn't quite seem to know how to pull that off--there was always a question of whether they got it on or not. And, let's face it, Jessica made out financially OK. Maybe a little disillusionment, although it didn't keep her from having breast augmentation.

Remarkably, Tammy Faye and even Jim, after a little prison time, went on to rebuild their lives somewhat. So, as often happens in our culture, the famous become infamous.

Larry King announced Tammy's departure on his show. She had promised him "dibs." The last time she was on his show, she allowed as how she was going straight to heaven once it was time. Tammy, I don't doubt that but since nobody knows quite how heaven works, I can't believe that you're not going to have to wait a bit--straight I would think refers to those like Mother Teresa and others who probably never concerned themselves with the Larry King show.

Father's Day

2007-06-16T11:49:00.000-07:00

Being A Father by John Henry Lee:

Are any of us the father we want to be or wish we'd been? I doubt it. Most of the Dads I know do the best they can, relatively speaking. The flip side of the coin is that there are some pretty sorry fathers. Amazingly, so many kids constantly are searching for their fathers, literally or figuratively, regardless if they were good or bad; there's something about wanting to know your real Dad: amazing.

I first encountered it when I was part of a group that started the organization, Vietnam Veterans Southeast Asia Children's Project, mostly working with Amerasian (mothers are Asian and fathers mostly American GIs) kids: all of them wanted to find their American fathers who didn't want anything to do with them. Pretty sad, but understandable. I remember one vet I located --he was so outraged that I would contact him because he had his own life now, wife, kids,etc. Vietnam was over forever and he doubted if the kid was his anyway. (I actually wrote a play about my encounter with him; and, if I ever get any big money, I'm going to produce it.)

Let's face it: In a real sense, the greatest job; or, at least the second (Mother first maybe) that anyone would ever have, is being a father. My own Dad was terrific; and, even today, I hear many things inside my head from him.

Recently, I was in a situation, not so much with me, but with a friend and I said, "The only thing I know to tell you is an expression my Dad used all the time: 'You might as well laugh as cry.' " I was amazed at hearing myself saying, "You might as well laugh as cry." I had not thought of the expression in years; and yet, when I needed the cogent comment, there was my Dad. Also, someone said to me recently, what was your first memory? Hands down it was when my Dad "whipped the daylights out of me" for cursing. I was about six.

There is a concept that we invent the parent of our childhood. I don't know. I do know that my older brothers and I have a somewhat different view of our Dad. I was the youngest, hung out with him lots and listened to his stories. He was a great storyteller and I listened over and over to the same one which always varied just a shade each time. From what I hear from my brothers, I got the best of him. When they were younger, putting bread on the table and making sure there was a future i.e., in other words, surviving consumed much of my Dad's time. When I came along, those things were more or less secured I think or maybe my Dad was just a little more easy-going with his sixth child, who knows.

But, I am a product of my own Dad and my children are of me. Please God, I hope I've done a good job, the most important one I'll ever have. Happy Father's Day and a special Hoooo-aaaaah to all the fathers in the armed forces who are away from their children this year.
JHL

MAKING SENSE OF THE SENSELESS

2007-04-17T19:42:00.000-07:00

There is simply no way to make sense of the senseless killings at Virginia Tech. What we try to do is put some sort of sensible explanation on the inexplicable tragedy. Impossible!

I know the school really well and have been there many times and can imagine the pall covering the school like a shroud.

HOW DO WE ATTEMPT TO PUT MEANING TO THE TRAGEDY?

First, there was the convocation; a kind of memorial service. Good idea--let the grieving come to some sort of "life goes on." Speeches, politicians, the President representing America. The highlight was a Virginia Tech professor. At first I wondered why she felt the need to equate the tragedy with most every evil in the world but still, no criticism here. She ended well, "We are strong and brave and innocent and unafraid. We are better than we think, not quite what we want to be. We are alive to the imagination and the possibility. We will continue to invent the future through our blood and tears, through all this sadness. We are the Hokies! We will prevail, we will prevail! We are Virginia Tech!"

After her speech, there was wild applause, an outpouring of emotion. I was moved.

No explanation for the tragedy. We live in a very violent society. One of the thoughts among many as I watched and listened to the Memorial Service: in Iraq, the Iraqis experience this every single day. Almost 200 dead Iraqis in the last few days.

THE SHOOTER. Korean. And, based on my knowledge of the Korean people, they literally will be burdened about this in a big way. One of their own, although in America, they will see it as "losing face." Their whole lives are built around the Confucian philosophy. It really is not a religion but a philosophy of living. Kibun is the word which most describes it: means well being. In KoreaTown in Los Angeles, the feelings of shame are rampant. There are over 2 million Koreans in America. No single group of people revere America like the South Koreans. In some ways, it is a love/hate relationship. Based on who they are, older Koreans will be the first to tell you that they would not exist had it not been for the American rescue during the Korean war. Younger Koreans who have not lived through it love the American way of life but not the Americans.

In this tragedy, however, all South Koreans will stand toe to toe in shame. Americans view a tragedy of this nature as sad, useless. They weep with the people. They lament the loss but they do so individually. Not so with the Koreans, as a country, they see that they are shamed by a fellow countryman. They hang their head, even though they have no responsibility in it.

THE MEDIA

In this tragedy, we are faced with the ambiguities of what the media means to our society. We want news, we are an open society, the media performs a useful function. However, as I watched all the media malaise, I couldn't help but think, what is going on? A circus! And, what we realize as usual is that the media is not interested in the truth, grief, whatever--they are interested in a story. And, they are giving us stories.

THE TRAGEDY

Grief is a powerfully consuming emotion without adequate description and feelings for the parents is an empathy that any parent knows. They sent their kids off to college and were concerned about grades, the choices they would make, binge drinking, adinfinitum but safety was not high on the priority list.

Any death is sad and the loss of the physical presence, the ability to call the son or daughter and say, "how's it going?" For those killed, they are gone.

As my seminary professor often said, "Sometimes there is a sympathy for people that is so great that you simply do not know what to say." I am there.

A type of terror came to roost at Virginia Tech and it was in the form of a lone crazy. There is no answer. We second guess. Some use it to push their issues, gun control, lack of response. Whatever. Simply, it is and our hearts go out to the loved ones of those murdered. God help us.

DON HO--Mr. Slack Jaw

2007-04-15T13:28:00.000-07:00

This was a humorous name given Don by a neighbor when I lived in Germany. Don Ho recently transitioned from this life to the next. He's up there singing Tiny Bubbles in God's heavenly choir. I have no doubt.

American GIs on R and R in Hawaii were introduced to Don and in ways big and small, he endeared himself. I remember his talk during his show. It went something like, "I want to welcome all the American GIs from Vietnam to my part of the world and to the show. I cannot begin to tell you how much you mean to me and to all Hawaiians. When I was a little boy I use to marvel at the planes flying into and out of Hawaii. And, I was inspired and joined up. One of my all time best decisions. Thank you for what you are doing and never forget, we love you and appreciate you. God bless you and return you home safely"

There we sat, a little like Lil' Abner's, Joe Btfsplk with a cloud hanging over our heads, never doubting for a moment that Don was sincere. Don eased our pain a little and we've never forgotten him. He was more than an entertainer, he was Hawaii and for a few short days so were we. So long Don, slack jaw or not, our world is a little reduced since you're not in it.

EASTER--FACT OR FICTION

2007-04-07T09:57:00.000-07:00

I don't know and it doesn't matter. Happy Easter. What prompted this look anew at my beliefs was a recently conversation I had with someone. She was giving me the typical California view of faith or lack thereof: Jesus was a good teacher, like Buddha or Mohammed or the wind, nature or whatever. I said, no sweat with me. It is fine for you to believe anything you want. What I didn't tell her was that I was raised in Primitive Baptist NC and they basically have a belief that they don't proselytize and so if "you want to go to hell" in their terms, fine with them, choice.

PERSONAL BELIEFS

My friend said something like, "I don't see how anyone can possibly believe in all the illogical things that Christians do: heaven, hell, adinfinitum." Well, it is called faith and by its very definition, it cannot be proven. And, in fact, it is why it is called faith. Faith is, by the Christian Bible definition--the substance of things hoped for but not seen.

CNN had a series of specials, well, two I saw that examined Christianity. It was what most of us know if we think about it: Christians are as varied as there are people, especially how we practice. For instance, there are the Catholics that are wedded to Canonical law and rules and regulations. There are some things that you have to do and be in order to be a "good" Catholic. For the rest of us Christians, with something like 150 denominations, what it boils down too essentially is faith. It is what makes it faith--cannot prove it, touch it, know for sure what it is. It just is. And, for the person who follows all the ideas of the Bible as well as the person who sees God in nature or pizza dough, it is all about faith.

MATTHEW, MARK, LUKE AND JOHN

And, I mostly say, I am a Christina and it is my faith that makes me so. I don't have a need to be logical about it, prove it, have a theory--simply my faith that comes mainly from the Bible, especially the synoptic gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. These gospels are what Jesus said and did: the rest of the New Testament is interpretations of what He said and did. Consequently, you can put on your own interpretation.

THE CONVERSION EXPERIENCE

What I strongly believe in is the "conversion" experience. Most Christians don't get it and simply, people's experiences are all different. And, no one can say a person's experience is invalid. They might say they don't believe it, see it another way or that you are a fool; however, they cannot say it is not your experience. For instance, the conversion may come like the Apostle Paul who was struck down on the Damascus Road and blinded according to the Bible. But, all "conversion experiences" do not come like this. For some, the conversion might be shrouded in mystery, wrapped in logic or the "still" quiet voice. For instance, I was "saved" as a 12 year old at a small rural Church during the annual Revival Meeting. Saved is one of those Christian "buzz" words, part of the language. And, as I look back on it today, there's an enormous amount of humor in it. Regardless, it was my conversion, I remember it like yesterday and believe in it. From then on, it is a matter of wrestling with life.

SIN AND SINS

Sin is one of those wonderful but misunderstood words. When I read that someone has sinned, i. e., so and so is a sinner, I always say, "says who?" Jesus has the best metaphor: when asked by his enemies what should happen to a woman taken in adultery where the usual punishment was stoned until dead. He used the word sin--one of my favorite scenes, he who is without sin, let him cast the first stone. The completed picture to the story is when he says to her, "where are your accusers? Neither do I condemn you, "go and sin no more." Sin (actually sins) in this case was powerful and loving, not condemnatory. Jesus was the original renaissance man.

What few modern Christians understand is the basic difference in sin and sins. Sin is really the mystery of what Jesus did for us on the cross. And, it is all that surrounds the mystery: the language of religion: saved, redemption, blood, all of it. And, the conversion is when we accept what He did: the suffering, the dying on the cross, and the Easter message of His life--the resurrection--however it may be or however it may have happened is almost beside the point. And, in my faith, it never has to happen again. The sin is taken care of forever--you accept.

The rest of life is lived in dealing with the "sins" the living in the flesh. It is part of being human, whatever that may be. And, every single individual has to deal with the handling of the sins on his/her own. That is faith. Sometimes we fail, sometimes we get it, sometimes we don't. And, then of course, there are all the beliefs surrounding that: heaven, hell, etc.; part of the faith is believing in all of it regardless of how illogical it might sound. It is faith.

INTERFAITH LOGIC

I've never been much for interfaith meanderings. It doesn't do anything for me personally. People can believe what they want and as a buddy of mine once jokingly said to me, "don't say God bless you. Say,'may the God of your choice bless you.' " Well, I don't believe in all these faiths and that we are going to be OK. I am a Christian, I am comfortable in my faith. I don't know about these other people. I don't know what their fate in life is and it is not my job to find out. I don't have any doubts into the claims of my faith. So, there you have it. A last thing: my basic mantra about Christianity is that it is at its core, a faith of peace. Jesus constantly talked about peace. When he said, I have not come to give y ou peace but a sword. To me, he was talking personal, no doubt about it, the dealing with the flesh and wrestling with sins. The most violet thing He ever did was throw the money changers out of the temple. "I will not have you making my father's house a den of thieves. I like it. God bless you.

PRESS RELEASE ON CHAPLAINS

2007-03-11T12:48:00.001-07:00

EDITORIAL NOTE. As little as most Americans know about the military, they know even less about the military chaplaincy. For instance, do the chaplains get their sermons from God or the Pentagon? Below is a press release talking about the duties of chaplains. Although it is a little sterile, it is good and insightful. My memoir, Gun Totin' Chaplain deals with most of these things. All chaplains are different and it is merely one chaplain's approach to doing ministry in combat.

Subject: Meditating in the field: Chaplains bring higher power to combat
Multi-National Corps - Iraq
Public Affairs Office, Camp Victory
APO AE 09342

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
RELEASE No. 20070310-02
March 9, 2007

Meditating in the field: Chaplains bring higher power to combat
By Spc. Chris McCann, 2nd BCT, 10th Mtn. Div. (LI) Public Affairs

CAMP STRIKER, Iraq - It has been said that there are no atheists in
foxholes. The stress and life-and-death situations of combat can make
the most hardened soldier look toward a higher power.
In order to provide that counsel and communion, that hope and holiness,
there are chaplains.

Chaplain (Maj) Lonnie Locke, a native of Dothan, Ala., and chaplain for
the 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division (Light Infantry),
oversees his brigade's six chaplains. "A chaplain's main purpose is to be a representative between Soldiers and the commander," said Locke. "The religious program is the commander's, we just run it."
"We have a responsibility to see that each Soldier has his
constitutional right to worship as he sees fit," Locke said. "We're
ultimately here to uphold every Soldier's privilege of worship."
Aiding each chaplain in his duties is a chaplain's assistant, an
enlisted Soldier trained in the myriad necessities of the administrative
part of the chaplain's work.

"I think chaplain's assistants do not receive enough credit for what
they do," said Chaplain (Capt.) Jeffery Bryan of the 4th Battalion, 31st
Infantry Regiment, 2nd BCT. "Mine is excellent. Although I don't carry a
weapon, I don't feel any need to, because he does such a great job."
Locke agrees that chaplain's assistants play a critical role in unit
ministry.

"Chaplain's assistants have special skills as enlisted Soldiers," Locke
said. "They have the training and are able to see people's problems and
do 'triage' for us. They support us not only by being our protectors,
but also providing technical help." "We set up services for the chaplain," said Sgt. Michael Frickie, a native of Cache, Okla., and assistant to Chaplain (Capt.) Danny Wilson. They serve the 1st Squadron, 89th Cavalry Regiment, 2nd BCT. "During the
week we screen people who come in for counseling, do paperwork, whatever
the chaplain needs done. And off the forward operating bases, we're
bodyguards, since the chaplain is a noncombatant." The assistants, besides training on common tasks and Soldier skills,coordinate with units for training, environmental leave and deployment briefings, prayer breakfasts, and retreats.

Staff Sgt. Randall Hansen, a native of Alpine, Utah, and assistant to
Locke, explained that the chaplain's assistant position also carries
some heavy burdens. "We're trained to recognize the symptoms of combat stress and suicide," he said. "And we know basic intervention. We're also the funds clerks.
The chaplain's assistant gathers offerings and deposits them into
sub-accounts for each denomination. We keep accountability of each
group's funds."

Many assistants are drawn to the military occupational specialty because
they are religious, but the only requirement is that they demonstrate a
"higher moral character" than other Soldiers. "I'm the most irreligious guy you'll meet, especially compared with my comrades who go to church every week," Frickie said. "But I like being around the different people. I've learned a lot about different faiths since I've been in the Army."

Perhaps the toughest aspect of being a chaplain's assistant is that the
chaplain and his assistant are seldom of the same religious affiliation.
"You have to be flexible enough to work with any chaplain and his
religious preference," said Hansen. "It may not be the same."
The job also comes with rewards, he added. "Out in the field, we're able to move around and visit Soldiers to provide them with some small spiritual enhancement," Hansen said. "They're in the trenches and their spirits can get low. Any spirit we
can bring them, enhances them."

The chaplains are perhaps most visible while conducting religious
services, but that's not their primary workload, Locke said.
"Seventy to seventy-five percent of our work is done in counseling,
depending on where we're at," said Locke. "Back in the rear, most of it
is about relationships and marriage counseling. Here it's about death
and dying, coping with grief ...making sense of 'why God allowed my
friend to die.' Depending on where we're at, the type of counseling
changes."

"Chaplains and their assistants help Soldiers by befriending them in
battle and comforting them if they're hurt," Bryan said. "And we help
bring closure by conducting memorial ceremonies." Providing care for Soldiers in such trying circumstances can be trying in itself, Locke said, and it can be draining. That is where downtime comes in. "We have to do self-care," said Locke. "I like reading, prayer, exercising. And talking to other chaplains...it's good to have a battle buddy to vent and talk to. Sometimes, just having alone time. It's how I
recharge."

Bryan has had his share of tough experiences, he said. "One Soldier said, 'Sir, I am terrified of being killed by an (improvised explosive device), but when I'm with you, I'm not afraid.' A few months later, he was killed in an IED explosion, and the fact that he was this close to me was life-changing for me. But the worst part is
dealing with casualties," said Bryan. "I have been with Soldiers who
have (been injured.) I have shoved them into air medical evacuation
helicopters, and I have memorialized many of them." But he isn't going to give it up.
"I'm wired for counseling," he said. "It's part of my job that I really
enjoy. And it's amazing how people's problems fall into two or three
different categories. On the spiritual side, people get frustrated with
their lives, and they're seeking something in the physical world that
can only come through a strong spiritual relationship with God. They
need to redirect their attention from filling that void with other stuff
and realize that God is the only one who can fill that.

"On the other side, we do a lot of counseling about relationships and
deployments. Many people don't know how to communicate well. They need
to prepare their relationships for long periods of separation. They
deploy and leave their spouses behind with little support."
Spirituality, as well as communication, is critical in combat, said
Locke.

"In order to be ready as a Soldier for combat, you must be preparing
mentally and spiritually to (deal with death.) That's part of the mix -
the reality of life and death is very obvious in combat and religion
speaks about what there is after life." "Most Americans are religious," said Bryan. "Soldiers are no exception, and war causes many participants to consider life and death. Not only does freedom of religion help Soldiers deal with the issues of war, it helps support the very freedom of religion they fight for."
Trying to provide hope, though, can sometimes be frustrating, said
Locke. Making sure that all soldiers are taken care can be difficult.
"My frustration as the brigade chaplain - it's my responsibility to see
all denominations cared for. It's more and more difficult how few
Catholic priests, for example, are in the military. It's very difficult
to supply what the soldiers need. We need Catholic priests, rabbis - the
'minority' faith groups are in dire need of chaplains." In many cases, Soldiers can fill in as lay leaders for worship services. In others, religious doctrine forbids full services without the presence of ordained clergy.

"Catholics allow lay leaders to do the Liturgy of the Word, but not the
full Mass," Locke explained, citing an example. "It's a matter of
recruiting and getting priests and rabbis in, and the Army chaplaincy
doing a good job of dispersing chaplains where they need to be to
minister to faith groups in different places." Despite the frustrations, said Locke, he loves his job. Enlisted for four years in an aviation job, he planned to become a warrant officer and pilot before his life changed course. "I met a chaplain in Germany who really made me think," he said. "I felt God calling me - but was the Army preparation for a mission, or was it my mission?"
Looking back, he says, now he knows. "This is my mission. God intends for me to do what I do. And it's the
best job in the Army."

Prayer Request

2007-03-06T11:53:00.001-08:00

Tanya, a former Marine helicopter pilot in Iraq and now the mother of two, will soon undergo serious surgury. Her husband, also a Marine just back from Iraq, is home with her for the surgery. The good news is that she is in a super hospital: Loma Linda. When I was in the 82d, we had a massive jump into the Mojave Desert and had six paratroopers killed and 200 of us were banged up pretty badly. We all went to the Loma Linda hospital. I remember it like yesterday. They were so great and really looked after us. I was limping and hobbling around visiting the banged up soldiers and a nurse corralled me and said, "You look like you could use a cup of coffee." Well, I knew that was impossible because in the 7th Day Adventist, coffee is verboden. We went into her office and she opened up the bottom drawer and there were all these packets of coffee. A lifesaver and an example of how great they were. So, Tanya is in good hands. I will fervently pray. God bless Tanya and the children and the father.

FINAL EXAM

2007-01-29T07:34:00.000-08:00

Final Exam is a fascinating book with a thesis that doctors are so geared to life that they don't know how to help their patients face death. Dr. Pauline Chen says that doctors fail patients miserably at the end of life. I think I love this woman. In my next life!

She's a liver transplant surgeon and is on the cusp when young people who often die too soon, give life to those almost dead waiting on a transplant. She talks about medical training and doesn't give the docs any slack--from the idea of how they treat the terminally ill, the turf battles among specialties, and the ritualized hazing of residents (I think she means long working hours and treating them like servants. I watch Scrubs afterall)

Having been a hospital chaplain, I get it. It was probably my worst assignment in 29 years and yet I think I did the most good. Working with docs who somehow think they are in the Trinity: Father, Son, Holy Spirit, doctors, not necessarily in that order, no day at the beach. As good as they are, I think it has to do with their training and the good Doc Chen addresses this. Way to go.

PHIL WOODALL'S MEMORIAL

2007-01-26T07:13:00.000-08:00

HOW SHALL WE DIE

Teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. Psalms
90:12

Three score and ten years--perhaps fourscore--that is our life span, in
round numbers, according to the ancient psalmist. To a youngster in the
prime of life, seventy or eighty or ninety years seems to stretch out
in the an endless succession of days. But in fact, life has its limits;
our days are numbered. A seventy year life span equals exactly 25,567
days counting the extra days in leap years. We have no way of knowing
how many days are allotted to us. But even if we did know, a mere
numerical count of so many days would give us neither wisdom nor
virtue. Surely then, the psalmist meant something more than years when
he prayed, "teach us to number our days." When we make the psalmist's
brief prayer our own, we ask for wisdom rightly to contemplate our
mortality; but also we seek wisdom to live well all the remaining days
of our life.

This is, to me, the lesson of Phil Woodall's life. Phil passed from
this life into the next at a relatively young age: 58 but as we all
know, he lived his life, "large."

For us combat vets, we know Phil mostly as a soldier. He was not only a
good one but the best. As a member of a fire team, he distinguished
himself time and time again. His leadership was evident when he moved
to squad leader, then to the command section as the commander's Radio
Telephone Operator. Highly decorated for his tours of duty, Phil always
remained the poet. Most of us remember how, when the fighting lulled,
he would write his poetry. He would write it on toilet tissue, on c
rations boxes, anything available. In a sense, stretching from Vietnam
to throughout his life, his poetry touched the lives of scores. With
the aftermath of Vietnam, his statement, "they may have died in vain
but they lived in honor" remains the absolute definition of a
generation.

We will miss Phil, the fact that he is not physically any longer in our
world does have an impact. We will miss his presence at our reunions,
the phone calls, the emails, the new poetry scribbled on whatever he
had near. Our lives will not be the same. I think Angelo Patri had it
right: "in one sense, there is no death. The life of a soul on earth
last beyond his or her departure. We will always feel Phil's life
touching ours, that voice speaking to us, that spirit looking out of
other's eyes, talking to us in the familiar things he touched, worked
with, loved as familiar friends. Phil lives on in our lives and in the
lives of all that knew him." The "poetry" of his life lives forever.
Amen.

SCROOGE SPEECH

2006-12-16T07:06:00.000-08:00

I always get bothered around this season of the year for many reasons. Mostly it has to do with the fact that Christmas has truly become a cultural holiday. Sure, we constantly have the screamers on TV and others that talk about the true meaning of Christmas, issues of religious freedom or lack thereof, i. e., St. Paul, MN who had the Happy Easter sign removed from City Hall. Get it: Saint Paul. Then there is the buying of presents. For most Americans, we are out buying, trying to buy, whatever, for those who don't need anything.

A good buddy of mine told me this story recently, his Mom and sister decided, let's cut this out, giving each other gifts: take the money that we would spend and give it to a charity selected by the person who ordinarily would get the gift. All is well and suddenly the Mother decides that she is getting everybody a gift, just can't let it go.

I love this story: this couple is looking in the window at Macy's and suddenly one of them spies a little manger scene in the corner of the window and says, "Well, look at that, even the Church is trying to horn in on this Christmas business."

So, there you have it. I feel a little better having vented a little. However, I think my biggest issue, however, has to do with the fact that again, on this Christmas, we are war. Relatively speaking, it has affected few people, most Americans are untouched: Iraq what? I want us all to stop and be touched, concerned, pained that on this cultural holiday representing PEACE, we have America's young men and women on foreign soil. It really is hard to think about peace, the Prince of Peace in such times. God bless our soldiers and God bless us.

ON DEATH AND DYING

2006-12-12T08:08:00.000-08:00

NOBODY WANTS TO TALK ABOUT A GOOD DEATH

Interesting "Frontline" story recently on the process of getting older (my interpretation). Over sixty percent of aging populations end up in nursing homes and almost 90% of those who go in, temporarily, stay. Watching it all was simply astounding, plus very sobering, which is the best word I can put on it. Also, talked about the "good" death.

It did get me to thinking, however; what I want to do is to make sure that somebody does me in when it is time. And, I am willing to let them decide. The difficulty is finding someone to do it. A buddy of mine in Alaska has said he would and I would for him but we haven't worked out the details. I think I'm going to look for a backup plan. Although this is said somewhat as tongue in cheek, the idea of lingering when I hardly know I'm in this world is totally unacceptable.

What is equally as interesting to me is that I wanted to discuss this with at least two groups of which I'm associated. In both, it was the "nobody is home look." Is it denial? What? I did finally get an email message from a friend that said this:

I'd never (I believe and hope) ask another to bear the responsibility before God of relieving me of my misery and pain. Timing is in His hand and I believe He has a plan!

Public opinion has no affect on God's plan, love, mercy, and grace. I believe that mercy-murder is more than that; it is also the audacious estimating of the quality of my will, wisdom and capability for mercy to be above God's.

Because God's standards are not subject to opinion polls, and since taking a life--as opposed to leaving the matter in the hands of the Master Timekeeper--even for mercy's sake has not been blessed by God, to my knowledge, I could never ask another to weigh his eternal standing against my very temporary misery/fear/etc.

Said another way, no one loves me more the God, and I certainly can't love another more than He loves him/her. So how can I assume that I have more mercy to give? How could I assume to be capable of coming up with a plan--out of my perspective, fears and dread--that is wiser, more loving and more merciful than the plan my Father and Christ has for me and/or some party that I ask to share the eternal responsibilities of my decisions and persuasions? No, I hope I could never be miserable enough to ask another to put so much on the line for me and that I could never do it while in a state of dementia or insanity.

MY RESPONSE

Thanks for your comments. Certainly well thought out and in general pretty much what most think, probably not articulated by most as well as yours. There is something amazing about people wanting to live and of course, subscribing the ending of life in any way to God, providence or whatever. I personally think it is a kind of lineal thinking that may have lots to do with our own personalities. Those of us who even embrace that "this world is not my home" spend inordinate amounts of money not to leave it. I am always flummoxed (a word I love).

My view is really a philosophical difference. Somehow the most merciless thing is to warehouse folks in nursing homes, many who don't know they are in this world and if they do, have an extremely poor quality of life. We treat our animals better than our loved ones often. The philosophical differences lie in the world of decisions. And, I at least believe, that the one whose life it is makes the decision.

The Haves and Have Nots

2006-11-19T17:29:00.001-08:00

We all know this to be true. The rich get richer and the poor poorer. Bottom 90% of taxpayers made $28,355 or thereabouts last year. The top 1% of the American taxpayer made $940,441; the top 0.1% made $4,506,291.

The Schiavo Case

2005-03-22T16:03:00.000-08:00

I've been following theTerri Schiavo case as I'm sure you guys have. What are your thoughts? I think I probably know. It's a neo con issue: don't confuse me with facts, my mind is made up. Just like Million Dollar Baby, the movie, is a left wing plot, the same as SpongeBob is gay. I don't want to put words in your mouth and would hope that the 10 chaps operate from reason as opposed to a party line. From my perspective, talk about screwing up a "two car funeral procession," the government can do it. Now, they've only muddled it. Why we can't let the poor woman died is beyond me: fifteen years she hasn't known she is in the world. Sad and somehow, to me it is so weird: doesn't the faith teach us that this world is not my home. The husband is not the issue, however; I admit that he appears to be a sleaze but we are talking 15 years. No, would never say anyone has to agree with me. I do think that overall, these are heavy duty issues that must be faced one of these days by most people, especially as health care becomes more and more cost prohibitive. Allowing folks to linger and linger with no hope who don't know they are in the world is cruel beyond all means to me. As someone has said, we treat our animals better than people. What this case has done, however, is focus attention on an issue which is too often ignored or denied and for that, I think it is good.

A friend of mine has contracted with me to do me in if I begin to lose it without any chance of return and if I have become a burden to my family. I am doing the same for him. And, I have told all my family. I think Korvokian had the right idea, he was just the wrong person. I like Oregon's law.

One of the reasons I thought Million Dollar Baby was such a profound movie was she died well.

The Male Chauvanist Bible

2005-03-22T15:53:00.000-08:00

Was reading in the Old Testament this morning: I think I told you I read that One a Day Bible, where you read all the way through every year. Always something different or I read something and think, "Wow, having seen this before." This morning David discovers that Saul is really trying to kill him and he goes to the Priest for food and the Priest says that he only has consecrated bread. David says that will be fine but then the Priest says, I can't give it to you if your men have been with women. David says, they have not: even though the battle may be unholy, their "things" are holy.

So, I guess a woman's "thing" is unholy if you are a literalist; I am often amazed at how the paternal themes run through the Bible: it is very hard to be a women and if you think about it, the theme especially with Paul, in the New Testament is the same; plus, wouldn't you love to hear a preacher preach a sermon on this topic. Funny.

Strange, that you and I are both with the Bible on our minds. I have been thinking about
the Bible quite a bit the last couple of days - don't have time to go into my thoughts now,
but will later. It is funny that men are "holy" regardless and women are the evil force in
the lives of men - at least, in the Bible. Just like with David and Bathsheba - she was the
evil one - leading David on - taking baths in the courtyard - and, David was just an innocent. Now, I'm on a tangent.

Sincere Beliefs On Both Sides

2005-03-22T14:44:00.000-08:00

THE PARTY LINE OF THE RIGHT TO DIE PEOPLE

No, I don’t believe that SpongeBob is gay… and I have not seen Million Dollar Baby so I can’t comment. BUT, As to Terri, yes, I can comment. Would love to meet you out by the beach and have a snack. Which leads me to what I think about starving someone to death.
Can’t believe that this is the biggest issue.

Had this “husband” been consistent and had he remained faithful until the decision was made, most of this nation would say that Terri is his wife and that he represents her wishes.
But he started off saying that she should live and be cared for and get therapy, etc.
Then he got the money to do so and his mind changed. Now he wants her dead.
I am not really sure about his motives.
The parents want her to live.

They believe that she is communicating through her smiles and other facial responses.
So who has the right to make the decision, a loyal mom and dad or a gutless guy who could have divorced Terri and gone on his merry way but for some reason(s) decided that he would just rather have children by another woman and stay married to Terri?
I vote that the parents should have the right.
I vote that the “husband” gave up the right to be husband and have the say-so.
NOW
If you insist that the starving her to death is the issue, then:
I vote with whatever she put down on paper and signed.
I don’t believe for a minute that she told her husband one thing and her parents another about her preferences.

She is not in a persistent vegetative state. But I would not want to be kept alive in the same situation. I believe heaven is better. However, I don’t want to turn to judges or doctors to make such decisions. They are not capable or qualified to speak for every person and every situation. I would decide in favor of life for Terri based on her parent’s desires. At times I have tried to help a family decide to pull the feeding tube. I remember a lady in Crestview FL nursing home who could not hear or respond. She appeared to be in a coma but still her family could not pull the tube. They could and would have taken away any heroic measures. But simple food and water they could not remove. I certainly would have decided to do so, but that was not something they would consider.

A Little Counseling Philosophy

2005-03-22T07:21:00.000-08:00

Thanks for the talk about the problem with my daughter. As you correctly surmised, I have some problems with confrontational conversations. A large part from how I grew up (more heads in the sand than I care to remember) but know I need to get past that--as you say, things just generally get worse, don't go away or get better on their own.

DRIVEN BY OUR PERSONALITIES

I basically think that for the most part, we are driven by our personality and you have great insight as I said, into how you are. You are an ESFJ on the Myers Briggs Type Indicator. I use to do lots of counseling and always felt that I was not good at it overall. In fact, I once started a counseling practice with a buddy of mine called Esthetic Therapy, Inc. He fired me after a couple of months and politely said, "this is not working." He said that counseling was suppose to make money and as I got clients, they would come in and talk for two or three sessions with me and I'd cut them loose and basically tell'em to be their own counselor. Well, in a business you can't do that: you want to keep the people coming back and back and back and taking their money. And, some need to keep coming back but after about three times, I would evaluate and give them my views.

SUPERVISED COUNSELING CAN BE MAJOR RIPOFF

Oh well...plus, another reason I didn't like counseling and this was really unfortunate because I'd spent lots of money getting certified and paying people to supervise me when most of the time I knew more than they did. (Supervised counseling is basilly a ripoff--a front told me recently that she was paying $125 and hour and getting nothing. After she has paid the guy a small fortune, he'll sign her certification that she has completed the necessary hours. I'm amazed that no one has taken this issue on.) My real feelings are that most folks have this enormous capacity to change. Unfortunately, most don't do it. For instance, I would tell folks, "insight is great but if you don't do anything with it, what good is it?" And, as a self diagnosed ADD Attention Deficit Disorder), too, too impatient with folks.

CHURCH RARELY LIVES UP TO ITS POTENTIAL

I don't' know why in the hell I ever got into this business anyway. I loved being a chaplain, it's a good activist thing to do but hated being a church pastor. Damn, what a hassle and yet, I think that the church in our society, if it lives up to what Jesus designed it to be, has the greatest possibility to help people to change. Very few churches ever get to that level, I think. I see these big megachurches on TV and listen to some of these guys and I get nauseous. Help.

Terminating a Pregnancy

2005-03-20T14:52:00.000-08:00

On the Discovery Channel the other night, there was this amazing program on how a baby is formed--pretty graphic and educational and what all of us know but to see it at various stages--wow! Makes you think about the idea of abortion. My basic view has always been that when a child can live outside the body, then it is a person. The drag is that it is definitely forming from the very beginning. I think that I'm going to have to go "situation ethics" on the process. When someone asked me what I believe, I can't make a definitive statement for or against--"tell me the situation" and then I would tell you what I think. What I would fear in taking a stand is to be in the ballpark of the zealots. Life is very complicated.

Comment: the thing that has always angered me is that couples who just have sex - no thought to what might happen - then just have an abortion. Nothing clear cut here, but I do have very strong feelings in some areas.

Comment: Here's my view. I am a Nurse and believe this: soul assignment. When a child is born, God assigns that child a soul and then it is a real person. All else before then is just trappings.

Remind me of Martha

2005-03-07T05:59:00.000-08:00

Thanks for the compliment, but definitely not more talented than Martha - the one ingredient she really has that I have none of is "ambition" - never pushed hard enough. Like you, I think she was made an exmple of - totally unfair - but she will come out smelling like a rose. There is something inside me that just can't quite like Martha - I certainly have noway of knowing, but I have a feeling she has walked over alot of people to get where she is, but, then, I'm being judgemental. Plus, I am so tired of the celebrity worship -even with Oprah - granted she certainly came from what (to anyone else) would have been a hopeless situation and look what she has become. People follow her and hang on everyword - a little scary.

Teenagers

2005-03-07T05:54:00.000-08:00

Carolyn and I were talking recently about the morality changes and how they must be affecting young people. It's one thing at our age, but something else with impressionable youngsters. I think you and I have even discussed this. I'm appalled at the fact that young girls especially are engaged in oral sex.

Kids are not the problems often, it is the parents. What is it that brings teenage girls to be so brazen on oral sex with boys: it isn't the sex, it is the realization again that we haven't moved for far in terms of gender equality. Girls are giving up self esteem, being subserviant, failing to demand equal treatment. If these areas of self esteem were zeroed in on, then the sexual issues would take care of themselves, as I see it.

Morally Asleep

2005-03-07T05:49:00.000-08:00

The minister's sermon was talking about for most of society we are "morallyasleep" - guess he's right. He used as an example the fact that he upgraded his tv recently and was given HBO and some other channel three months for free. He said he wasn't blind to the many changes that have taken place, but he said to see and hear it in his own home was a different matter. He was talking about the crude language, nudity, sex, etc. - I guess he had the cable people to remove it.

There are some terrible things on TV but it is like lots of things: shouldn't we be disciplined enough to keep from watching them: and the pay channels that he is talking about, they are expensive and although he was looking at them as an enticement, still should we take away people's freedom to look if they pay. It is a slippery slope and one that we really have to be careful about: when you start being the morals police, where do you stop? I don't think most folks are morally asleep; life is often complicated and not black and white other than to the fundamentalists who say it is black and white based on their interpretation. The fundamentalists become the morals police. This is a very simplistic and easy way to live in a sense. Very tricky in so many ways.